Deadspin
We know that Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis is infinitely more popular than Tyrone Willingham ever was (even though they have pretty much the same record at the university). But it's possible he was paying too much attention to his gastric bypass surgery than his players' well-being, because one of them just got busted for picking up a prostitute. Well, actually, a police officer who was pretending to be a prostitute.
The unlucky paramour? Defensive lineman Derrell Hand. Don't expect him to be tutoring Rudy anytime soon.
The South Bend Tribune reports that Hand was arrested and jailed last Thursday afternoon after allegedly propositioning a female police officer who was posing as a prostitute. It was all part of a sting operation by South Bend police, and Hand and three other men fell for it. The 6-foot-3, 287-pound lineman, who is entering his junior season, was released from jail after posting a $250 bond.
In real life, it's embarrassing to be caught trying to pay for sex. But when you're an athlete? And you're still paying for sex? Jeez, if you still have to pay for sex, seriously, what's the point of being an athlete? We really can't emphasize this enough.
Irish Player Faces Prostitution Charge [The Wizard Of Odds]
Comments
you whorin' it?
Mary is gonna be mad.
Seriously, shouldn't the boosters be able to help out with this? At least offer up a daughter or two?
Somebody had one too many Schlippses.
"I want to set the record straight -- I thought the cop was a prostitute."
We really can't emphasize this enough.
drink!
Dome.
@G Voll the Mole: The boosters don't give out daughters for someone who hasn't played in 2 years, they save them for important players like Brady Quinn. Oh wait...
At 6'3", 287 lb. he'd be better off raping a woman.
"You can't break up with me - I've got hand!"
"And you're gonna need it."
But I've got HAND!!!
@El Knob Grande:
Son of a...
Well played.
Seriously, paying for sex as a football player at ND ? Does this kid look like the elephant man ?
This is why college football players need to be paid; they then could afford to use a high-end (and discreet) brothel. And bail.
@Upstate Underdog: I'm sure there's even a market for that. You can find anything on Craigslist!
When will people learn?
If you are in South Bend, and you pick up a prostitute, and she has all her teeth -- that's a cop.
At least it wasn't an altar boy.
Wait...what?
Aloha, Mr. Hand.
I'm just imagining what a typical South Bend street walker looks like. Urgh!
This ho is the most beautiful sight these eyes have ever seen.
Proposition like a champion today
@G Voll the Mole: I'm just saying the only pick-up line that kid should need out in South Bend is, "Hi, I play football for Notre Dame."
@PQ Crash: That didn't work out so well for Chris Purtz
Fighting for the Irish and paying for the Greek.
Which one in the picture is the prostitute?
Man, Notre Dame even commits boring crimes
@We Are Donyell Marshall: Below St. Louis but above Sacramento.
Or so I hear.
You fell for the oldest trick in the book! What's with you man?!?!
Of course he had to seek out a prostitute. Don't you know that "Catholic girls start much too late."
Onward to felony.
Andray Blatche sighs in relief.
I don't see why anyone's too shocked -- everyone knows skill players get all the ass on campus. Linemen can't be as picky.
@UkraineNotWeak: And if you do get some from a co-ed, it's missionary only.
@Tobias Funke: what does this have to do with getting into land wars in Asia?
@Upstate Underdog: Have you ever seen the women at ND?
Being a recent Irish grad, let me tell you this is the only way anyone can get laid at Notre Dame.
Unless you go to St. Mary's across the street...no, girls, you aren't whores, you're actually REAL PEOPLE)
@Jack Cobra:
Quickly ducking behind furniture as Andie rushes into the room.
Well you're here and I'm here...doesn't that make it our time? And what's wrong with a little prostitution on OUR time.
Cleary he was not master of his domain and with a name like Hand how could he be?
South Bend might be the lamest place on the planet... Last year a freshman there snickered at me and said that "Notre Dame has all of the good parts of Penn State only without the excessive drinking."
@TheStarterWife:
If the guys had been willing to take the ride over to Evanston and Northwestern, their balls probably would've been "steamed clean" by the end of the weekend.
Fitting for a Notre Dame player that he couldn't quite win the big one.
So is Charlie going to make the entire team clean the stadium after games this fall as punishment?
@Jack Cobra: no, i haven't. it must be bad out there if football players are paying for sex.
I love lamp.
@UkraineNotWeak: Sooner or later it comes down to fate; he might as well be the one.
Operation Hand Job has reached a successful (you might say inevitable) outcome. As it usually does... but without the mugshots and such.
This reminds me of a story.
A friend of mine who is from South Bend was at a party at ND, and who walks in but Brady Quinn and Darius Walker. It also happens to be Quinn's birthday or birthday weekend. Not ten minutes go by when some random girl goes up to wish him happy birthday. He replies with, "Thanks. How about some birthday dome." My friend nearly peed himself. Apparently prostitutes aren't needed when you have a smooth line like that.
It's been said too many times before, but...
You don't pay for the sex, you pay for her to leave.*
*Above statement may or may not be an indication of Chicago Jones' opinion
Seriously, man, you have GOT check The Erotic Review first.
@McBain: +1
Eugene Robinson is wondering why everyone is making such a big deal out of this.
Why was their a cop posing as a prostitute in South Bend? I thought South Bend was some sleepy college town, now I know its an oasis of prostitution outside of the Chicago metro area.
What are they doing in that picture?
"I'm excited for this game man. I am PUMPED"
"I know. Me, too."
"No, man, I mean I'm really excited. See - feel this thing."
**Giggle**
"Stop it man, come on. We're in public"
Mr. Hand, you dick!
@Von Hayes: I dont know who that was, but thats crazy talk, we have lots of excessive drinking and we love it