Deadspin
By now, you've heard all about the University of Florida student who broke up Sen. John Kerry's speech and totally didn't want to get Tasered, bro. Well, here's something you might not know about Mr. Andrew Meyer: He's actually a big sports fan, with his own sports blog. You can probably guess his tastes from his repeated use of "bro."
Yep: Andrew Meyer is a huge Bill Simmons fan, bro. From his post about the 2007 NBA Draft:
Before I get started, I wanted to acknowledge that yes, I read Bill Simmons. He is in fact my favorite sports writer. But let me be clear: I am not stealing his opinions, and I never will. The reason I like him so much is that he thinks much the same way I do. We probably read a lot of the same draft literature, and our opinions will converge at times. Actually, I just read his draft diary for this year, and we wrote down the exact same Stephen A. Smith quote. Coincidence? Unless you think I'm just aping his material, it is. And if you think that, well stop reading now, and who needs you anyway?
We think the Sports Feller would agree: Anyone who "steals" Simmons' "opinions" deserves a good Tasering.
The 2007 NBA Draft [The Andrew Meyer]
Comments
That moron deserved the damn tasering before I read this, now I'm even more so convinced.
Where are his jean shorts in that picture?
"Don't tase me, bro!" is sweeping the nation.
I couldn't be happier.
Dude, dude, dipshit.
@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: Alas, it was too late to make it a fantasy football team name.
His father, Urban, is still unimpressed.
@Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price: As is his cousin, Oscar.
Not listed:
Favorite Comedian: Dane Cook
Favorite Band: Creed
Man deserved a battery and a pair of jumper cables connected to his balls.
Zap Mama > Zap Bro
@Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price: I wish they'd tased him too.
Sadly, he lost his dirty white Red Sox cap in the melee.
Meyer is a wuss. I could have taken that female security guard.
@UkraineNotWeak: Anyone who likes Creed reaps what he/she sows.
Can someone tase Tebow beofre Ocober 27th?
Thanks.
@UkraineNotWeak: The kid actually SOUNDS like Dane Cook.
I could totally hear Cook saying "Don't tase me, bro." Seriously. I nearly spat out my Cinammon Toast Crunch the first time I saw this on the news.
@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: So does that mean Louis CK had a bit on not getting tased 4 years ago?
OMG they'll be BFF!!!!11@!!!1
"Where were the NBC cameras when I was awesomely calling him John Scary? Huh? That's right, another shot of the cops!"
The reason I like him so much is that he thinks much the same way I do. We probably read a lot of the same draft literature, and our opinions will converge at times
Also he has the cutest little dimples and he smells like sweet lilacs...sigh...
"Careful with my shirt! You might flip the collar back down."
We will look back on this era of unchecked bro-tasering and we will be ashamed
Last night I thought it was funny that he said "bro" just before he was tasered. Now I think it was hilarious.
@Hamster-Style: Yes indeedy.
It also means that Carlos Mencia will have a bit on not getting tased four years from now.
Testicular electrocution for all who get into monkey shines.
The 20 or so people there to hear the speech must have been really disappointed.
Also, it looks like Appalonia has really let herself go.
Yup, these are my column stealers
Now everyone knows what we COPS fans have known for years: that taserings are hilarious.
Whenever you hear the cop say "We've got a situation over at the Hardee's by the trailer park," DO NOT CHANGE THE CHANNEL.
All I listened to when I was 21 was Das EFX and Onyx.
So yeah... tastes change.
Also, those other 35 or so Florida students filling 40% of that hall were cheering as the cops were arresting him - pretty funny.
My favorite part of the whole "Don't tase me, bro!" thing?
I wasn't aware "tase" is a verb. Actually, I wonder how he spells it. Perhaps with a z.
Go away, bro.
@Matt_T: Wouldn't the electric pulse transfer to our beloved Holly, in that case, though? & we wouldn't want that.
Go to his website, and scroll down to the bottom, and witness the best watermark that a douchetit has to offer:
[www.theandrewmeyer.com]
Yo, stop hasslin' me, bro, I gotta go check out the new BS report before I write my blog that nobody reads...
apparently today is "Bro's and Ho's Day" on Deadspin
@Camp Tiger Claw: Also, Zap > Zap Bro
I have never been a proponent of turning fire hoses onto protests. Then the "Free Andrew Meyer" march happened.
So can this guy's blog be considered a "doucheblog?"
@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: Hey, just as long as Mencia yells a lot when he does it, and then makes a funny face during his delivery, I bet it will be the highest of high comedy.
@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: Clearly, the cop says "you will be tased..." - so he was just speaking their language, bro.
Since when is the word "ape" a verb?
"Unless you think I'm just aping his material..."
Am I just not hip with what the Dbags are saying these days?
this guy is a major pansy...he was crying. I'm sure getting hit with a taser is not fun but come on bro!
Zap Brannigan > all other Zaps
I wonder which drew more people: the march to free him or the "Sick metal band smashing face in Gainesville".
@Hamster-Style: He'll be sure to follow-it up with his patented "I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT!" face, too.
A face that I'd very much like to introduce to the business end of a broomstick.
Wasn't Scott Baio in a movie that was about something EXACTLY like this whole incident?
Did anyone else notice that he signs all articles as "The Andrew Meyer"? I thought articles in front of names were only reserved for Bronx and Orange Counties....
this reminds me of when my little brother would see how far he could push my old man by doing something he wasnt supposed to and then when the old man had enough and took off his belt my "bro" would runaway screaming "what did i do?" And he sounded like Dane Cook too
@Suss--: I guess his collar wasn't the only thing popped that day.
HEY OH! Thanks, folks! I'll be here all week! Don't forget to tip your server!
@thedirty d: For real, convulsions are cool, but yelping like a biatch = not in the least bit gangsta.
You know what? I wasn't even CLOSE to guessing Validus by his repeated use of the word "bro" - so you are incorrect there.
[www.theandrewmeyer.com]
@twoeightnine: Brannigans law is like Branigans love. Hard and fast
@stopmikelupica: And Ohio State. Don't forget Ohio State.
Any band (Creed) that says "311, I am ready to fight!" has my seal of approval, and I like a few 311 songs.
It doesn't matter anyways. Creed was from along time ago. This guy likes Plain White Tees.
Keep making me more famous, bro