Deadspin: Steroids

Victor Conte Says Ryan Braun's Test Result Is Exactly What You'd Expect From Fast-Acting Testosterone, Not Anabolic Steroids

Sports Radio Interviews — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 16:35:00 EST

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Conte says Braun is "dead in the water." More »

John Rocker Admits Steroid Use, File Under "Who Gives A Shit?"

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:20:39 EST

John Rocker wants you to give a shit, because he's got a book coming out. It makes a perfect Christmas present for someone you hate, but is not appropriate as a gift for Eid or Diwali because John Rocker doesn't want brown people currency. To drum up interest for the book, Rocker's doing the interview circuit, and in a chat with NY Baseball Digest's Mike Silva, he copped to using PEDs during his Braves days. More »

A Guide To The Medical, Semantic Mess Of Ryan Braun's PED Case

Jack Dickey — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 16:43:00 EST

We told you on Saturday night about Milwaukee Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun, the reigning National League MVP, and his failed drug test. More »

Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 11:20:00 EST

John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has never been associated with was arrested more than two years ago, Ovechkin is clearly on steroids. Ipso facto. Take it away, John Steigerwald, you magnificent dumbass: More »

What Do Usain Bolt And Juan Manuel Marquez Have In Common? They Train With The Same Admitted Steroids Dealer

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 13:10:50 EST

On Saturday, Juan Manuel Marquez will step into the ring for a third time against Manny Pacquiao. This time around, Marquez—who's moving up in weight for the fight—has a new physique. He has retained the services of Angel Hernandez, the strength and conditioning coach who has been working with Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt. Hernandez has been an omnipresent figure on 24/7, and Marquez's new bulk has been noted by viewers. More »

John McCain Probably Would've Taken HGH If He Was Offered It

Sports Radio Interviews — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 16:10:00 EDT

Roger Clemens Handed Out Some Souvenirs At His Trial

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 15:35:57 EDT

It's been a month since a mistrial was declared in Roger Clemens' perjury case, and yet the misconduct just won't end. A group of court security guards are under investigation for accepting signed baseballs from Clemens, which is not a thing that is ok. More »

Samaki Walker Got Pulled Over With Weed And Steroids, So He Tried To Eat The Weed

Jack Dickey — Sun, 31 Jul 2011 16:45:00 EDT

The Mavs took Samaki Walker ninth overall in 1996, between Kerry Kittles and Erick Dampier, four picks before Kobe Bryant, and six before Steve Nash. Walker hasn't seen any NBA game action since December 2005, so you don't need Jay Bilas to point out that he's a bust. He's played in Russia, Syria, China, and South Korea since washing out of the NBA. More »

Despite Jeff Novitzky's Life's Work, Cheating At Sports Is Still Not A Crime

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 15:20:15 EDT

Jeff Novitzki was an IRS agent. Not an avenging angel sent from above, nor an earthly crusader for all that is good and pure in America, but a bureaucrat. Somewhere along the way he got it into his mind that it was his job and his job alone (and his only job) to eradicate the peril of steroids in sports. He's with the FDA now, but he continues his myopic, monomaniacal quest to bring down the users. More »

And Here's How The Clemens Case Might Did End In A Mistrial On Day Two (UPDATE: Mistrial!)

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 11:33:43 EDT

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The NY Daily News is all over this one, as things change by the minute. More »

Curt Schilling: No Winning Team Was Steroid-Free, Not Even My Own

Thu, 07 Jul 2011 16:15:02 EDT

Charlie Sheen's Steroid Admission Has Ruined My Childhood

David Roher — Thu, 30 Jun 2011 14:30:00 EDT

It was the summer of 2003. A pleasant breeze graced the local baseball field, but I wasn't there. I was inside watching Comedy Central, sheltered in more ways than one. It was, for me, the summer of Major League, the summer of Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn, the summer of Charlie Sheen and everything a kid like me could want out of a basic cable daytime movie. More »

This Promo For A 1989 Josh Brolin Movie Makes A Convincing Case Against Steroids, Short Shorts

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 19:55:00 EDT

In 1989, the Brolin men co-starred in a made-for-TV movie called Finish Line. We'd never heard of this film until a tipster sent along a link to the promo last week. It's worth watching the clip in its entirety, because as far as we can tell, it doesn't miss a single important moment from the movie itself (but it looks like you can still get the VHS for about five bucks on Amazon). More »

A Look Back At Kimberly Bell's First Attempt At Embarrassing Barry Bonds

Tue, 29 Mar 2011 17:10:07 EDT

Most of us have read over Kimberly Bell's wacky, disturbing revelations from a San Francisco courtroom by now. Playboy writer Steve Pond first nabbed an interview with her in 2007, and she was far more candid in the magazine than she was in her shrunken-testes-laden testimony at Bonds's trial. More »

Jean Pascal Punches Bernard Hopkins In The Face During A Press Conference "For The Fans"

Kate Shapiro — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 18:30:00 EDT

Jean Pascal and Bernard Hopkins got into a bit of a physical altercation during a pre-fight press conference today. Pascal ended the press conference by not-so-politely asking Hopkins to take a blood test before their fight in May. Hopkins commendable response? "Aw, hell no." More »

Barry Bonds Is Probably Guilty Of Being A Prick

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 13:50:00 EDT

The prosecution in the case, which begins jury selection today, really wants to make this trial about that. But it's not. It's not about steroids either, actually. It's a perjury case, to determine whether he was lying when he said he didn't take illegal things, which might not have been illegal at the time. More »

Frivolous Study Says American People Are Kind Of Silly About Steroids

Jack Dickey — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 22:25:00 EDT

A new study, commissioned by the US Anti-Doping Agency (USADA), notes that Americans (9,000 were surveyed) consider performance-enhancing drug use "the most serious problem in sports today." More »

Oh Look, Victor Conte's Handing Out Supplements Again

Mon, 21 Feb 2011 15:55:22 EST

Last Night's Winner: Crushed Up Deer Antler Steroid Spray

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 12:00:00 EST

The NFL has ordered new Raiders coach Hue Jackson to end his relationship with "The Ultimate Spray." You'd think it's because the spray contains a banned substance that's almost impossible to test for, but no. It's just procedural stuff. More »

Just Vote For Jeff Bagwell, You Hypocrites

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 13:25:00 EST

Jerod Morris idly wondered if Raul Ibanez might've had a little pharmaceutical help, and everyone went nutso. Damien Cox suggested Jose Bautista's numbers were surprising, and he caught shit. So why is it OK to not vote for Bagwell because of "suspicions?" More »

Jon Heyman Is Confused About Why He Hates Jose Canseco

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 19:20:54 EST

Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman (the real one this time!) took to Twitter to chastise Canseco for, well, two contradictory reasons. More »

Dear College Baseball Players: Stop Using The Internet To Ask For Advice On Taking Steroids

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 13:00:00 EDT

Last week's Villanova player asking for tips on juicing was just the beginning. Apparently there's an epidemic of our nation's stupid, stupid college athletes turning to message boards for the best PED regimen. Today: anonymous college pitcher with a pitiful fastball. More »

This Looks Like A Villanova Baseball Player Asking For Advice On Steroids

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 17:30:05 EDT

We were directed to the message boards of a site for steroid enthusiasts — specifically to a post from someone claiming to be a Villanova baseball player wondering what to take to bulk up fast. More »

Jose Bautista Wants Everyone To Know That Jose Bautista Does Not Take Steroids

Sports Radio Interviews — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 15:30:00 EDT

Tackling The Blogging Double Standard

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:50:36 EDT

A mere blogger dared to raise the steroid question last year, and the mainstream media excoriated him. A newspaper editor did the same thing, and nary a peep outside the blogosphere. Finally, Jerod Morris weighs in with his take. More »

And Here Comes The Jose Bautista Steroid Speculation

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 13:30:00 EDT

Now that Bautista's reached the 40-homer mark in August, bettering his previous season high by 24, it's inevitable that the PED rumblings would begin. But it's from unexpected sources: the two Toronto papers, doing a curious sort of "journalism." More »

"When Their Panties're Moist, We'll Give 'Em The Finale": One Stud's Adventures In Deca And Male Stripping

Paul Solotaroff — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 12:50:24 EDT

Paul Solotaroff, the guy with the pecs in the above photo, lived through the age of muscle, which on one notable occasion found our hero shimmying for horny Long Island women, his dick in a Star of David rayon sling. More »

Clemens Fires Back; Are Tweets Under Oath?

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:40:36 EDT

The Rocket, responding to his indictment on perjury charges: "I never took HGH or Steroids. And I did not lie to Congress. I look forward to challenging the Governments accusations, and hope people will keep an open mind until trial." [Twitter] More »

Roger Clemens To Be Charged With Lying To Congress About Scary, Scary Drugs

Tommy Craggs — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 13:35:17 EDT

The feds, basking in the glow of their wildly successful perjury prosecution of Barry Bonds, will reportedly indict Roger Clemens on charges that he made false statements to Congress about his PED use. [NYT] More »

A Look Inside The NFL's Drug Testing Methods, Chad Ochocinco's Bladder

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:20:00 EDT

Mr. Ochocino found this note taped to his locker yesterday. It's just the high-tech, low-margin-for-error procedure we've come to expect from the NFL's steroid testing. More »

Would The World Anti-Doping Agency Kindly Shut The Hell Up?

Tommy Craggs — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 20:15:48 EDT

The World Anti-Doping Agency, i.e., the people who once banned caffeine, now demands that baseball violate federal labor law and unilaterally impose a testing regime of dubious efficacy for a substance of uncertain benefits. Why does anyone take WADA seriously anymore? More »

Weekend Winner: A Brand New PED Excuse

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 10:35:00 EDT

In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like our nation's poor, overtrained athletes like Brian Cushing, who says he flunked his drug test only because he worked out so hard. More »

Yankees Little League Coach Was Chock Full Of Steroids For Brawl

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 18:45:00 EDT

Do you remember Jason Chighizola, who sucker punched the coach of his little league rival Red Sox? Turns out he had nearly 15 times the amount of testosterone necessary to be considered legally doping. More »

Today, In Questionable Product Placement

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 13:10:00 EDT

Does reading about Lance Armstrong putting horse steroids (or whatever) in his body make you thirsty for an Armstrong-endorsed energy supplement? The targeted advertising on this ESPN.com story seems to think so. [h/t Doug, and like 4 other people] More »

Minor League Baseball Will Be HGH Testing's Beachhead

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 16:40:17 EDT

We never thought we'd see the day, but an American professional sport has taken steps to detect, punish and deter HGH usage. Effective immediately, Minor League Baseball will test for it. This is big for our friends in the NFL, as well. More »

Soaking Wet Tony Romo Enjoys All Six Of The Six Flags

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 07:00:15 EDT

Because no one reads the newspaper and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

The Summer Of '68, The Best Days Of Our Lives

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 12:35:00 EDT

MLB hurlers are doing things on the mound not seen since the Year Of The Pitcher, before the mound was lowered from the heavens and pitchers were made mere mortals. This is a good thing, right? Right?? More »

Doctor Who Treats Football Players Accused Of Knowing Football Players

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 20:30:30 EDT

Canadian officials confiscated something labeled "NFL file folder" from the office of Anthony "Dorian Gray" Galea. That's right....a doctor kept detailed records of his patients! Can't wait until they find the file labeled "Butts I Injected With HGH." [ESPN] More »

Entire Canadian Football Team Suspended For Steroids

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 23:20:48 EDT

Nine University of Waterloo football players are suspected of possible steroid use, so the team's entire season has been canceled. (There may have been a smidgen of drug trafficking, too.) That's Canada, for you. Always so....reasonable. [OttawaCitizen] More »

Roger Clemens Is The One Guy Jose Canseco Won't Rat Out

Dashiell Bennett — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 10:00:09 EDT

Jose Canseco told a grand jury that he never saw Roger Clemens use steroids....and he sees everything. I forget if Canseco is the "lone honest human" or "embarrassment to humanity" this month. [Daily News] More »