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"Olympic swimmer Kenrick Monk has tearfully admitted to inventing a story about being the victim of a deliberate hit-and-run car incident. In a blow to his chances of representing his country again, Monk, 23, revealed he had broken two bones in his elbow while skateboarding on Wednesday. At the time he told media he had been riding his bicycle when a P-plate car had hit him and driven off. But today, at the pool where he trains in Brisbane, he told a media conference he had made up the story out of embarrassment." [The Australian] (H/T Tomuban) More »
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Retired breast cancer surgeon and grandfather of three Roger Allsopp today became the oldest person to swim the English Channel. At 70 years and four months, Allsopp beat the 2004 Guinness record held by George Brunstad, who was a youngish 70 years and four days when he crossed the Channel and who also happens to be the uncle of Matt Damon. More »
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We brought you news yesterday of Diana Nyad, a 61-year-old woman who was trying to swim from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage. Nyad would have broken her own record for cage-free swims. Unfortunately, she only made it halfway before being hauled on to a support boat in the middle of the night while vomiting. Rough seas and a shoulder injury made it tough for Nyad. But mainly it was her asthma that cut the effort short. More »
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Endurance swimmers are impressive extreme athletes. Swimming long distances is brutal. And bad bad things happen to you in the ocean. Especially when you're 61 and have asthma. Not that that bothers Diana Nyad, who's attempting to make it 103 miles from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage. It's a feat that has never been accomplished and would break Nyad's own record 102.5 mile cage-free swim from the Bahamas to Florida in 1979. More »
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Austrian Olympic swimmer Jakub Maly lives and trains in Pompano Beach, Fla., and yesterday was his day off. So he spent the afternoon digging a hole in the beach 7 feet deep and 6 feet across. Naturally, he jumped in, and naturally, it collapsed around him, leaving only his head unburied. More »
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There's some drama going 'round the professional swimming circuit, and Michael Phelps wants to use it for inspiration now that he's on an unthinkable streak of not winning everything by a lot. "Drama" in the swim world tends to be about as interesting as swimming itself (and with a DUI and a bong photo behind him, Phelps is nearly tapped out anyway) but we'll humor this because the upshot of it all is that Phelps isn't winning. More »
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Luiza Hryniewicz, 21-year-old Junior European swimming champion, will appear in next month's Playboy. Luiza seems to have enjoyed stripping. More »
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An underwater viewing window at a high school pool shattered, sucking a student and an instructor through the broken glass. The student remains hospitalized, but I think we're all traumatized for having read this. [Channel 3000, h/t ArkansasFred] More »
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"My comments were thoughtless and careless but I can assure you when I made those comments on Twitter I never intended to offend anybody." Thank you. But an openly gay swimmer says Rice is not a homophobe. [Courier.AU] More »
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The good news: USA Swimming has a list of 46 members banned for the giant sexual abuse scandal. The bad news: there's another list of people under suspicion, who are still free to coach. [AP] More »
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An investigative report on last night's 20/20 presented startling stories of young swimmers sexually abused, secretly videotaped, and even impregnated by monstrous coaches. Has USA Swimming created a unique "culture of sexual misconduct," as ABC News would have you believe? More »
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"Sporting a beard and an old-style swimsuit, Michael Phelps missed out on two finals and barely qualified for a third Tuesday at a World Cup short-course meet." [AP] More »
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This poor Italian woman first suffered this indignity. Yesterday, U.S. swimmer Ricky Berens' suit also busted open in the back, revealing his backside to America. The Huffington Post even utilized its seldom used "ass cam" for the occasion. [KC.com] More »
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Exotic fancypants swimsuits bestow ridiculous Aquaman-like qualities on anyone who wears one, which is why swimming officials have officially banned the suits—right after every record in the books is shattered beyond repair. More »
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Michael Phelps claims one of the few records he doesn't already own, breaking Ian Crocker's mark in the 100-meter butterfly. "Phelps taped Crocker's picture on his bedroom wall for motivation six years ago, after Crocker set the record." [WaPo] More »
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Just when race relations in the United States seemed all hunky-dory — welcome to the White House, Mr. President — a swim club in Philadelphia kicks out 60 minority campers because they would "change the complexion" of the club. More »
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Jason Lezak — three-time Olympic gold medalist, Phelpsian savior and, blessedly, former bar mitzvah boy — will skip the swimming world championships to race in Israel's Maccabiah Games. When in Jerusalem, he'll be hankering for Chinese food from Beijing. [AP] More »
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Italian Olympian Flavia Zoccari was disqualified from a race yesterday after her swimsuit literally tore her a new butthole. That's not going to sit well back home, but hopefully it will all work out in the end. [DailyMail, via Slanch] More »
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Michael Phelps has "written" a children's book called How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals. Life lessons include strip club tipping etiquette and when to check-raise on Jacks or better before the flop. [Canadian Press] More »
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Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap More »
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Lil Wayne's newest track, "No Quitter, Go Getter," begins: "Michael Phelps, this is for you, baby." He's heard that one before. [Jersey Chaser] More »
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Our Deadcast guest this week is none other than Martellus Bennett: tight end for the Dallas Cowboys, expert blogger and renowned Twitter fiend. More »
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He easily took the 200-freestyle and 100-butterfly at the Charlotte Ultraswim, and has a chance for another three way wins this weekend. By the time London 2012 rolls around, I'll bet he's sporting full dreadlocks. More »
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This guy, that's who! Also, Michael Phelps....who is totally amped to put the stripper orgies, poker parties, and mind-bending drug trips behind him and hop back in the chlorine water. Arrrghgh! More »
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Nobody does news quite like UK's News Of The World and their latest shocking exposé is no exception—a bare-all interview with a Baltimore "dancer" who claims she double-teamed Olympic hero Michael Phelps More »
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I think Dara Torres has literally had a washboard surgically implanted in her abdomen. Trust me—the answer is not "drink more milk." [Sportress of Blogitude] More »
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Kellogg's recent dumping of Michel Phelps as its spokesman had at least one unexpected consequence: The sudden appearance of about 3,800 pounds of cereal at the San Francisco Food Bank. More »
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Here's a screen grab from a Feb. 19 article on MSNBC Chicago on a hazing incident involving the Deerfield High School swim team. Um, girls, you're doing it wrong. More »
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You may have seen recent headlines declaring American Jennifer Figge to be the first woman to swim across the Atlantic Ocean—an astounding feat, provided you don't actually do the math. More »
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Kellogg's will not extend contract with Michael Phelps; Subway also mulls divorce. [Advertising Age] More »
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Hmm; one thing that kind of got lost in the shuffle about this Michael Phelps bong hit business ... smoking weed is still sort of illegal here. Especially in states like South Carolina. More »
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Michael Phelps says he regrets doing his impersonation of Brad Pitt in True Romance, and that it will never, ever happen again. I totally believe him*. More »
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Michael Phelps Inc.™® is returning to Beijing, this time to provide every man, woman and child with a brand new car. Expect gas here to be $9 per gallon by next year. More »
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Came in fourth in the 100 butterfly at the Summer Olympics? There's still hope for a medal. Oh, and if you already have one, we'd suggest hiding it. [NBCSports] More »
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The theory of trickle-down economics got an Urban Dictionary-style redefinition after the Summer Olympics in August after watching approximately 312,847,708 world records mutilated in the Water Cube, thanks in large part to wearing new LZR Racer suits from Speedo. Now, of course, collegiate and high school swimmers want the same advantage or else their own competitors that put out $550 per suit will create two unofficial divisions: those with money (and suits) and those without. ("Good job, Brandi... your time was second-best in the Poor People Division!") More »
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There are many times in life when you're justified in saying 'I'm not getting in there.' The Raiders' Black Hole immediately comes to mind, as do the restrooms at Ralph Wilson Stadium. And I've also pretty much made it a rule never to allow myself to be submerged amongst enormous, hungry crocodiles; call me a pessimist. What a sad, sad waste of a hot Australian babe. More »
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We can forgive Michael Phelps for tapping a far-off state for girlfriend material, and for picking a Miss California runner up. But what's unforgivable is sporting a Tigers cap when everyone knows you were born and raised in Baltimore. Attending the University of Michigan is no excuse; you support the team where you grew up, fish boy. Mr. Murray and Mr. Ripken are waiting outside to have some words, and they're carrying bats. But back to Johnson, or Miss Westlake Village 2007, to her friends. She was also one of 15 finalists at the 2007 Miss California pageant. Michael Phelps' New Girlfriend? [Mojo In The Morning] More »
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Michael Phelps, not even unpacked from Beijing, has already purchased a $1.69 million condo in Baltimore, complete with rooftop terrace, private screening room and robot butlers. (The latter wasn't in the online listing; I just threw that in there). Of course Speedo has already promised him a $1 million bonus for his efforts at the Olympics, and he may earn as much as $40 million more in endorsements, according to the New York Daily News. And by all accounts he's spending it like Vinnie Chase. More »
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Amanda Beard apologized on Thursday for her recent comments about Michael Phelps, but not before she was raked over the coals by a crack panel of highly-respected journalists on CNN. OK, actually they're three D-list characters I'd never heard of. But it was CNN, which promises to get back to that whole Iraq War thing the minute that anything interesting happens. More »
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Notice to any women who are hoping for hot multiple gold medal sex with a certain big-eared swimmer in the coming weeks; Michael Phelps' sperm are not to be trifled with. As this T-shirt by The Hotness Factory clearly illustrates, his boys can swim; they are pretty much the Navy Seals of spermatozoa, so don't harbor any illusions. This means you, Lohan. More »
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