I submitted a piece to the New Yorker about a recent trip I made to Fenway. I wrote about the fact that Fenway stands, along with Wrigley, as a testament to the bygone era of ballparks with unique designs of necessity. Quirks and idiosyncracies required to shoe horn a ball park into an urbanscape rather than faux-quirks designed to fool the eye. I pointed out that the Green Monster stand is a true colassus, and that one would need to stack upwards of 70 starved Rawandan corpses to reach its full height. Also there is no parking.
They passed on publishing the piece (unclear as to why) but suggested that I submit it to the Orange County Register.
Whicker added, "I don't think I'll be writing about kidnapping victims anytime soon, so unfortunately, the world will never get to see my piece on all the things that have happened in sports since the last time Mariane Pearl saw her husband with his head attached."
And to think about all of those people from Oklahoma City who will never get the chance to experience the joy and excitement of catching a Thunder basketball game.
How long was it? When Anderson was captured, Wally Joyner was in Triple-A. Michael Jordan was finishing his rookie year. Ted Tollner and USC were Rose Bowl champs.
A 19 year old Alyssa Milano was blowing Pat Hentgen in Triple-A Syracuse.
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They passed on publishing the piece (unclear as to why) but suggested that I submit it to the Orange County Register.
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On the other hand, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
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What the big deal, Tommy? You never played Beirut in some Frat basement?
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On the other hand, Beirut is still Charlie Sheen's favorite shithole in the world. So it was only yesterday.
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Damn you, Timothy McVeigh!
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A 19 year old Alyssa Milano was blowing Pat Hentgen in Triple-A Syracuse.
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