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Courtney Coxian Women Confront Snapping-Turtle Problem: Houston-Maryland Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 22:00:00 EDT

Before Greivis Vasquez can take his "poor man's Manu Ginobili" routine to the next round, he'll have to lance the proverbial boil that is Aubrey Coleman and the Houston Cougars. Make a sweat pun whenever Gary Williams is on screen.

Pitino-Backed Red Birds Attempt To Screw Bears On Restaurant Table, So To Speak: Lousiville-Cal Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 21:45:00 EDT

You were expecting a different picture, weren't you? Louisville had an off-year, and so did the Pac-10; there might as well be two pictures to keep you engaged. Say "Samardo Samuels" thrice into a mirror and comment the results.

Argentine Outlaws Clash With Malodorous Nuts: UC Santa Barbara-Ohio State Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 21:35:00 EDT

Can Orlando Johnson do an Evan Turner Impression and bounce the Buckeyes? Not if Thad's boys can help it. (Expect them to help it.) Michigan fans: say how much OSU sucks. OSU fans: hang out and continue ignoring Michigan fans.

Medium-Sized Kitties Paw At Overly Tanned New Yorkers: Vermont-Syracuse Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 21:30:00 EDT

This is not going to be a repeat of the 2005 game between these teams since 'Cuse is actually good this year. The town of Syracuse is responsible for this, though, so chug some maple syrup and comment it up.

Shining Kings Of The Serengeti Beset By Cerulean Satans: Arkansas Pine Bluff-Duke Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:25:00 EDT

Duke's better this year than it's been in a while; expect the Blue Devils to crack 120 in this game. Look for floor-slaps galore by the scrubs who get into the game with about seven minutes to play.

Food Producers Meet Greeks, Make Orzo Together: New Mexico State-Michigan State Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:20:00 EDT

Having Kalin Lucas, Raymar Morgan and Tom Izzo means MSU is a threat to make a run. Jahmar Young and Jonathon Gibson are pretty sick themselves. Lunardi says NMSU's just happy to be there. Can they prove him wrong?

Cattle Rustlers Wearing Flashy Coats: Georgia Tech-Oklahoma State Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:15:00 EDT

Oklahoma State has a 1-2 punch in James Anderson and Obi Muonelo, but the team's undersized. Georgia Tech's Derrick Favors and Gani Lawal are said to be "bruisers." They should get that checked out by a doctor.

Andrew Jackson's Least Favorite Team Vs. Everyone Else's: Florida State-Gonzaga [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 19:10:00 EDT

The days of Casey Calvary and Matt Santangelo are gone; Gonzaga has become a West Coast Duke. Solomon Alabi has the name of an extra from Angel Heart but is also a defensive force. Will we see Matt Bouldin cry?

Jimmer Fredette Is Amazing, According To His Brother's Rap Song [Duan!]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 18:00:11 EDT

In a jam that is straight slathered in metaphors, T.J. Fredette, brother of BYU's Szczerbiak 2.0, spits fire like ... the first Mormon rapper I've ever heard. Have fun with this.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. More open threads for the games tonight, and Dash is here for you tomorrow.

The Best Thing You'll Read About Tiger's Sexting [Tiger Woods]

Tommy Craggs — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:40:07 EDT

What could Joslyn James have written to elicit Tiger's, "Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own"? Perhaps: "My screenplay really isn't coming together. Need some dialogue for the enraged donkey-owning farmer." [Slate]

Gus Johnson Calls Your Life [Whimsy]

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:00:00 EDT

Introducing the Gus Johnson soundboard. I give it less than a day before America is having sex to "rise and fire." [Best Thing Ever]

A Bounty Of Aggies! Utah State-Texas A&M Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 16:45:00 EDT

In the marquee matchup of teams with the same name, the Mormon Aggies look for their first tourney win since 2001, and the ten-gallon Aggies try to advance to the second round for the sixth year in a row.

#deadspinbeijingbureau #http #newsbbccouk #2 #hi #asiapacific #7486814stm

TylerDurdensCutman — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 16:41:35 EDT

[fullcount.weei.com]

#tips

TylerDurdensCutman

Fighter Jet Flyover Threatens, Thrills Thousands [College Football]

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 16:30:00 EDT

Two Navy fighter pilots were grounded after buzzing a Georgia Tech game at the decidedly unsafe altitude of just a few hundred feet.

The two planes were supposed to complete their National Anthem flyover at 1,000 feet, but a deceptively simple mistake brought them over downtown Atlanta much, much lower. They adjusted their altimeters to operate via sea level rather than ground level, but failed to set their warning systems to match.

Or, for a simpler explanation, both pilots were Georgia Tech grads.

Either way, the result was a spate of awesome YouTube videos:

The officers have been shifted to other specialties, ones that don't involve flying. Which is good, I suppose, considering the egregious safety violations. But still: America, fuck yeah!

Oceana F/A-18 pilots grounded after low flyover [Virginian-Pilot]

Sick Of Ashley Judd And/Or The John Wall Dance Yet? A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum [#Tips]

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 16:00:00 EDT

We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies.

•"Samer Ocho Cinco" points us to video of Ashley Judd dancing. A grateful nation thanks him.

•"Fighter-of-the-Nightman" knows that even though he may have made nicey-nice with Simmons, Rick Reilly still has enemies at CNN.

•"DirkToberFest" finds John Hollinger's mortal enemy.

•"scoop.and.slam" would apparently rather Deadspin move to a subscriber model:

why does Deadspin keep changing colors? This confuses me.

•"InSinSeer" shows concern for our intern.

•"Theodore Donald" helpfully creates the #stabbedinthedick tag.

•"crazyjoedavola" has had just about enough of the NHL's nebulous injury reports.

•"JanetRenoManchild" sees dongs where none exist.

The ball isn't the only thing that's tipped; have your one shining moment and contribute to #tips.

Yippy Dog Vs. Weasel: Wofford-Wisconsin Open Thread (RUH-ROH ALERT) [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 15:00:00 EDT

The appropriately named Wofford Terriers are undersized and making their tournament debut, but they are incessant. Wisconsin is better than everyone thinks. Treasure of the Sierra Madre jokes? We don't need no stinkin' Treasure of the Sierra Madre jokes.

UPDATE: Wisconsin's up three with 7:55 left.

Geographically Confused Bears Vs. The Jungle Cats Of The Monongahela: Oakland-Pittsburgh Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:45:00 EDT

Oakland got beaten by a lot of highly regarded teams this year; did that make them stronger? Is Pitt legit or playing above their heads? Why is a Michigan school so California-centric?

Tigers Aplenty! Missouri-Clemson Open Thread (CLOSE GAME WATCH) [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:35:00 EDT

Both of these teams love to play fast and loose, and Clemson's Trevor Booker might be the best player on the court. However, the Big 12 was better this year and Mizzou is very well-rounded. Tigers by five.

UPDATE: Hope you didn't pay full price for your seat because you're only using the edge.

#deadspinbeijingbureau #http #newsbbccouk #2 #hi #asiapacific #7486814stm

CaliCheeseSucks — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:33:12 EDT

Oregon AD quits, joins ESPN.

[sports.espn.go.com]

#tips

CaliCheeseSucks

Canonized Tuscans Want To Play A Jesus Lizard Single: Siena-Purdue Open Thread [College Basketball]

David Matthews — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 14:30:00 EDT

Four players averaging double figures, a coach named Fran, and they beat Ohio State last year — Siena's good. Purdue's missing Robbie Hummel, but Chris Kramer has the gumption to become a hated March Madness figure. Don't sleep on them.