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New York, 7:04 PM
Mon Dec 14
12 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Chamomiles Davis Chamomiles Davis
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    Hank Gola makes Hank Gola look like Hank Gola.

    I WIN!
     Reply
    Chamomiles Davis was starred Chamomiles Davis was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    Craggs to Gola - J'Accuse! (of being a terrible columnist)
     Reply
    Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of Weed Against Speed Weed Against Speed
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    ...the vacuum is being filled by more tawdry stories every day.

    Must be one of those Dyson Ball vacuums.
     Reply
    Weed Against Speed was starred Weed Against Speed was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    I think I've figured out the Sportswriters' Formula.

    1. Make a crazy point.
    2. Flesh out that crazy point with multiple qualifiers & counter-examples which cast doubt on to the crazy point just made.
    3. Return to crazy point undeterred, as though you actually just strengthened your argument.
    4. Patronize.
    5. Utilize fantastically ridiculous simile/metaphor to drive home the crazy point you just inadvertently destroyed through your own circular reasoning.

    And I swear to god if anyone here replies with a "6. Profit!!," I'm going to figure out how to castrate you via an IP address.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Clarence Rosario Clarence Rosario
    12/11/09

    @ClintonPortishead: I'm going to figure out how to castrate you via an IP address

    Too late: GooglesnIP is already in beta. Want an invite?
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario was starred Clarence Rosario was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    12/11/09

    @ClintonPortishead: Wouldn't it be

    6...
    7. Profit

    //ducks
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of Weed Against Speed Weed Against Speed
    12/11/09

    @ClintonPortishead:

    Six: Jenna von Oÿ?
     Reply
    Weed Against Speed was starred Weed Against Speed was unstarred
    Image of Richard Petty Bourgeoisie Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
    12/11/09

    @ClintonPortishead:
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead promoted this comment Edited by Richard Petty Bourgeoisie at 12/11/09 2:19 PM Richard Petty Bourgeoisie was starred Richard Petty Bourgeoisie was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    12/11/09

    @Weed Against Speed: And there's my first "have to google that" of the DS day. MarkKelso'sMigraine weeps in silence.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/11/09

    @ClintonPortishead: @Clarence Rosario: There's also the exciting new "Chemical Castration, By Bing."
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    12/11/09

    @Richard Petty Bourgeoisie: Aww, I got the joke, no need to delete.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Richard Petty Bourgeoisie Richard Petty Bourgeoisie
    12/11/09

    @ClintonPortishead: I was actually concerned about the lack of funny. My fastball isn't even tickling the mid 80s today.
     Reply
    Richard Petty Bourgeoisie was starred Richard Petty Bourgeoisie was unstarred
    Image of dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    We're beyond reasonable behavior with Woods. He's coming across like a horny teenager.

    Eleven times a day? Unreasonable?
     Reply
    dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac was starred dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    He executed his own column and hung it upside down like Mussolini.

    He double penetrated that shit like he was the Kennedy brothers.
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    that one wonders how he can write and clutch his pearls at the same time.

    I've often thought the same thing about BDD.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Steve U Steve U
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    write something about Tiger Woods so egregiously stupid that it'd make Mark Whicker look like Grantland Rice. Take it away, Hank Gola.

    Just to clarify: He's saying that the New York Daily News makes the Orange County Register look like the turn-of-the century New York Times.
     Reply
    Steve U was starred Steve U was unstarred
    Image of ClueHeywood ClueHeywood
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    Suspend him for adultery? If other leagues suspended players for philandering, we'd end up with Kurt Warner playing one-on-one with Jon Kitna.
     Reply
    ClueHeywood was starred ClueHeywood was unstarred
    Image of DirkToberFest DirkToberFest
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    When it does, Finchem has to call Woods into the principal's office, give him his fair hearing and, if his actions are as shameful as purported, suspend him.

    Little known fact: Hank Gola's mother lost both of her hands during Hank's childhood.
     Reply
    DirkToberFest was starred DirkToberFest was unstarred
    Image of StuScott Booyahs StuScott Booyahs
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    As the most revered athlete of his generation, Woods has been toppled from his pedestal like Saddam Hussein's statue in Baghdad.

    Ladies and gentlemen, I've been to Vietnam, Afghanistan, and Iraq, and I can say without hyperbole that this is a million times worse than all of them combined!
     Reply
    StuScott Booyahs was starred StuScott Booyahs was unstarred
    Image of Ron Mexico Ron Mexico
    12/11/09

    @StuScott Booyahs: The Tiger Woods Saga: Argle-Bargle? Or Fooferaw?
     Reply
    StuScott Booyahs promoted this comment Ron Mexico was starred Ron Mexico was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    This is America, Hank Gola, and we haven't punished someone for personal transgressions unrelated to his work for almost a decade now.
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of HelloMouthBreathers HelloMouthBreathers
    12/11/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: Happens all the time in the military.
     Reply
    skahammer promoted this comment HelloMouthBreathers was starred HelloMouthBreathers was unstarred
    Image of skahammer skahammer
    12/12/09

    @HelloMouthBreathers: Right. But not in America.
     Reply
    skahammer was starred skahammer was unstarred
    Image of Kid Canada Kid Canada
    12/11/09

    In reply to Hank Gola Leaves The Yard
    "Hank Gola? Isn't that some African country we always beat down at basketball?"

    -Charles Barkley
     Reply
    Kid Canada was starred Kid Canada was unstarred
    Image of DirkToberFest DirkToberFest
    12/11/09

    @Kid Canada: Hank Gola? Isn't that the cheese I stuff my face with?

    -Charles Barkley
     Reply
    DirkToberFest was starred DirkToberFest was unstarred
    Image of Clarence Rosario Clarence Rosario
    12/11/09

    In reply to Roller Derby Twins Make Good
    My friends call me "Quadzilla" because of my stocky legs of steel. My mom calls me "a boy with boobs."

    Such lazy writing, plagiarizing her match.com profile.
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario was starred Clarence Rosario was unstarred
    Image of DaOtterAgain DaOtterAgain
    12/11/09

    @Clarence Rosario: Her matching qualifications start and stop with "I'm breathing."
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario promoted this comment DaOtterAgain was starred DaOtterAgain was unstarred
    Image of Clarence Rosario Clarence Rosario
    12/11/09

    @DaOtterAgain: "May be anatomically correct."
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario was starred Clarence Rosario was unstarred
    Image of Chris Hanson's Axe Chris Hanson's Axe
    12/11/09

    In reply to Roller Derby Twins Make Good
    Why does every sports article written by a woman have to include some kind of "I know sports! I played sports!" disclaimer/introduction?

    #willyoumarryme,
    #moetkacik?
     Reply
    Chris Hanson's Axe was starred Chris Hanson's Axe was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/11/09

    @Chris Hanson's Axe: True, but for a little bit of balance, read my latest offering in "Recipes Weekly."
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Richard Starkey Richard Starkey
    12/11/09

    @AzureTexan: I'm A Guy Who Knowns How to Cook, With No Italian Heritage! - by Azure Texan

    /denounce any Italian heritage in order to make my joke work if you do happen to be part Italian
     Reply
    AzureTexan promoted this comment Edited by Richard Starkey at 12/11/09 12:22 PM Richard Starkey was starred Richard Starkey was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    12/11/09

    @Richard Starkey: The closest my fam every came to Italy was when we ate lunch at Spaghetti Warehouse.
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
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