Deadspin: About Last Night

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 07:35:44 EDT

I feel a great disturbance in The Force ...
• NBA: Derrick Rose goes to Bulls with No. 1 pick; Knicks' fans cheer enthusiastically for their top choice (just kidding; they take to the streets and riot as expected).
• Tennis: The days of Andy Roddick are finished. Let the Janko Tipsarevic Era begin.
• MLB: Gulf of Mexico side rules, Atlantic Ocean side drools. Rays sweep Marlins.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 08:33:47 EDT

What you missed while celebrating your city's choice as the Nation's Sweatiest City ...
• NBA: Jermaine O’Neal to be sent from Pacers to Raptors for T.J. Ford, Rasho Nesterovic, 17th pick in the draft and a player to be named. But it's not official yet, so don't spread this around. [Yahoo Sports]
• College World Series: It's a nonstop celebration in Fresno! (crickets).
• MLB: Stand in front of the Twins, get run over like you've been hit with a Chinese tank.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:01:49 EDT

What you missed while cowering before the might of Milk & Cheese, Dairy Products Gone Bad ...
• College World Series: Fresno, birthplace of Cher, Kevin Federline and Trent Dilfer, represent! This series is tied.
• Spain invades Wimbledon, enslaves native people, demands to know where gold is hidden.
• MLB: Twins Peak ... Minnesota beats San Diego 3-1 for seventh straight victory.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 08:22:44 EDT

What you missed while observing just another typical day in Arkansas ...
• College World Series: Hey Bulldog ... Georgia takes 1-0 series lead over Fresno State.
• Tennis: Federer Express ... Roger Federer, Serena Williams among usual suspects to win first-round Wimbledon matches.
• MLB: Ben Sheets, you're my hero. Brewers 4, Braves 1.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 07:30:33 EDT

What you missed while listening to Class Clown long into the night ...
• College World Series: Year of the Bulldog ... Georgia will meet Fresno State in finals. Where's that Snausages vendor?
• NHL: Hockey's Cold War is here. First on Russia's list: Destroy Moose and Squirrel.
• MLB: As relievers-turned-starters go, Justin Duchscherer is near the top of the list. Athletics 7, Marlins 1.

About Last Night...

KOGOD — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 10:00:00 EDT

What you missed while kissing the oranje goodbye in a most tasteful manner...
• MLB: Micah Owens and the Diamondbacks fell 6-1 in Minnesota. You'd think they'd let him bat, but no.
• CBB: The Tar Heels survive elimination thanks to another late home run.
• Boxing: Chazz Witherspoon was fortunate to be disqualified against Chris Arreola. More on the unusual decision to come.

About Last Night

KOGOD — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 10:00:00 EDT

What you missed while marching on Fairfax with your friends from the JDL...
• Boxing: Robinson Caruso's man-servant exposed the Butler, a previously undefeated heavyweight fraud.
• MLB: The "hottest team in baseball" ran into Edinson Volquez.
• CWS: Tim Federowicz was the hero for UNC with a ninth inning grand slam that secured a 7-3 win over LSU.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 08:30:00 EDT

What you missed while realizing that you can't go more than six months without seeing this video ...
• MLB: Mariners fire John McLaren, promise more housecleaning; won't be satisfied until Ichiro is left standing on field by himself.
• Beijing Olympics: Dwyane Wade to be named to U.S. Olympic basketball squad. Rejoice.
• MLB: Rays get Chicago's goat, sweep Cubs.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 07:59:09 EDT

What you missed while kicking around the fire footbag ...
• MLB: Yankees win sixth straight, would like you to witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station.
• College World Series: Porn name or future major league star? Cord Phelps helps Stanford eliminate Miami, 8-3.
•Soccer: Scoreboard operator dozes peacefully during Brazil vs. Argentina World Cup qualifier.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:11:41 EDT

What you missed while loading the photon torpedoes of love ...
• NBA: Celtics beat Lakers ~~103-83~~ 131-92 to take series, move on to face ... wait, it's over? The NBA season is over? Oh blessed summertime, I can embrace you now! Fresh air, flowers, glorious sun! WE ARE FREE!
• College baseball: Smack that ... LSU stays alive in CWS with dramatic win over Rice.
• MLB: The Jerry Manuel Era in New York begins predictably. Angels 6, Mets 1.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 07:59:32 EDT

What you missed while watching hot lesbian action ...
• MLB: Tigers just can't catch a break in this town. San Francisco 8, Detroit 6.
• Soccer: Germany conquers Austria, annexes the Sudetenland.
• NBA: Ray Allen will be at the dance, girls. He WILL be there.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 08:02:21 EDT

The joke is on the leopard ... he got off at the wrong stop ...
• It was awfully nice of the Lakers to allow the Celtics to win the NBA title at home. (NOTE: Should LA come back and win this, this post never happened. Got it?).
• MLB: Yankees beat Astros 13-0, and you can make your own damned Wang joke.
• Soccer: WhoooEEE! That was one country ass-whoopin'!

About Last Night...

Matt Sussman — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 10:15:00 EDT

What you missed while shopping for the ten best fictional dads for Fathers Day...
• U.S. Open: Tiger Uppercut! The one-and-a-half-kneed wonder leads Lee Westwood by one shot. But will we see the Hundred Hand Slap prevail in the final round?
• NCAA Baseball: Stanford scores 11 runs in the 9th to beat Florida State 16-5. In other news, when I heard Jason Isringhausen was going to make a rehab appearance, I thought it'd be in his own minor league system and not in the College World Series.
• MLB: Kevin Youkilis 10th inning home run lifts Red Sox over Reds, 6-4. They're not booing, they're sa.... oh, wait, they are booing.

About Last Night

Matt Sussman — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 09:30:00 EDT

What you missed while attending the retirement party for your commenter screenname, the one with the dangly hyphens...
• U.S. Open: Tiger Woods would be in first, if it weren't for that meddling Stuart Appleby.
• MLB: Yankees beat 'Stros 2-1, and Joba Chamberlain is up to six — 6! — innings. Ah ah ah.
• CFL: In case you're wondering what happened to Timmy Chang, Canada happened to him. Hamilton Tiger Cats beat Winnipeg Blue Bombers 12-10 in preseason.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 08:30:01 EDT

What you missed while being reminded once again that you don't mess with the Zohan ...
• NBA: That's what you get for turning off the game in the third quarter. Celtics take 3-1 series lead over Lakers.
• Golf: You can all just eat Kevin Streelman's U.S. Open dust, suckers!
• NHL: All your Lester B. Pearson Award questions have finally been answered.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 08:22:40 EDT

All those who guessed that the cubicle rampage video was a fake, please come collect your winnings ...
• MLB: All hail the walkoff grand slam. Everybody say Uggla! Marlins 6, Phillies 2.
• Soccer: Wait, they have Cristiano Ronaldo, and Pepe? How can Portugal ever lose?
• NFL: I Am Legend ... Will Smith signs for $70 million with Saints.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 08:23:52 EDT

What you missed while preparing to flee into outer space ...
• NBA: March toward inevitable Game 7 continues ... Lakers 87, Celtics 81.
• MLB: I sense a great disturbance in The Force ... Noooo!
• NHL: Ron Wilson, fired by Sharks, finds employment in Canada.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:46:42 EDT

What you missed while noticing that the head of the World Health Organization's department of HIV/AIDS has an unfortunate name ...
• Ruud van Nistelrooy sends Italians to brink of World Cup qualifying doom.
• NFL: In non-Ruud van Nistelrooy news, the Bears cut Cedric Benson.
• Agent Zero opts out of contract with Wizards, demands a pony and back rubs.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 08:12:35 EDT

What you missed after turning off the game with the Celtics up by 24 ...
• NBA: Could this be the most unsafe 2-0 lead in finals history? Celtics 108, Lakers 102.
• Tennis: Claymation ... Nadal beats Federer to win French Open. Don't drop the trophy!
• MLB: Go Fish ... Hanley Ramirez homers twice as Marlins beat Reds 9-2.

About Last Night...

Christmas Ape — Sat, 07 Jun 2008 10:00:00 EDT

What you missed while amassing your army of humanzees in anticipation of the Deadspin power vacuum...

MLB: Indians beat Tigers for the 1,000th time, Paul Byrd gets 100th career win. The numbers! So round and approachable.
NBA: Doug Collins will not revive the '80s after all. But I bought all these slap bracelets!
Boxing: Floyd Mayweather Jr. retires... again! An illustrious career in pro wrestling awaits. Or maybe just boxing when he comes back in two months.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 08:25:12 EDT

What you missed while using your binoculars to watch a bearded tit ...
• NBA: Wheelchair basketball ... Pierce shakes off knee injury, leads Celtics over Lakers in Game 1.
• MLB: Cole Hamels > Ken Griffey Jr. Phillies 5, Reds 0.
• MLB: Please don't televise the draft again. Thanks.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 08:04:12 EDT

What you missed while trashing your workplace because they took your red stapler ...
• NHL: Heart like a wheel ... Wings win Stanley Cup! For Christ's sake, don't drop it!
• MLB: Paul Konerko ends our suffering, White Sox beat Royals in 15.
• NBA: Suns down to four coaching candidates. Hey, where's Isiah?

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 08:24:51 EDT

What you missed when the police took the plasma TV from your prison cell ...
• MLB: The Radhames Liz Era has begun. Orioles 5, Twins 3.
• NHL: Red Wings' explanation for Game 5 loss to Penguins: It was the refs' fault, of course.
• Womens softball: How could you pitch to Kaitlin Cochran? Fools! Arizona State wins WCWS title.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 08:51:34 EDT

What you missed while selling your camel ...
• NHL: Penguin fans rejoice ... triple overtime win sends Stanley Cup Finals to Game 6.
• NFL: T.O.'s three-year extension with Cowboys is worth $27 million (Super Bowl ring sold separately).
• MLB: Cubs' Zambrano puts on a show, postpones June Swoon at least one day ...

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 07:40:32 EDT

What you missed while attending a beauty pageant with Ronaldo ...
• MLB: Santana makes it to 100, says he owes it all to clean living. Mets 6, Dodgers 1
• Tennis: If your name has vic on the end of it, congratulations.
• Motor sports: Ryan Briscoe goes very fast, wins big trophy.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Fri, 30 May 2008 08:25:19 EDT

What you missed while paying tribute to Hedley Lamarr ...
• NBA: Lakers complete their half of a potential Lakers-Celtics 1980s reunion. LA 100, San Antonio 92.
• MLB: Welcome back, Joe. Here's another loss. Mets 8, Dodgers 4.
• Horse racing: Big Brown guarantees Triple Crown victory.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Thu, 29 May 2008 07:38:35 EDT

What you missed while visiting the no-longer-leaning Tower of Pisa ...
• NBA: Due to some sort of mixup, Celtics and Pistons combine for more than 200 points. Boston 106, Detroit 102.
• NHL: Penguin Lust ... they're going cracy for Crosby! Pittsburgh 3, Detroit 2.
• MLB: Chase Utley commands the elements, has dominion over all living things. Phillies 6, Rockies 1.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Wed, 28 May 2008 08:25:18 EDT

What you missed while being assaulted with Moon Pies ...
• NBA: Lakers take 3-1 series lead over Spurs, situating themselves perfectly for monumental collapse.
• MLB: Let there be light! Santana delivers, as Mets crawl back from the brink of despair, beat Marlins 5-3.
• Despite Will's sudden departure, Amelie Mauresmo and Svetlana Kuznetsova somehow soldier on and advance to second round of French Open.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Tue, 27 May 2008 07:55:50 EDT

What you missed during your annual headlong pursuit of rolling cheese ...
• NBA: Pistons roll the McDyess, even series with Celtics 2-all.
• NHL: The Osgood File ... Red Wings trample Flightless Sea Fowl, 3-0.
• MLB: Walk-off walk ends 12-inning scoreless duel to win it for Angels; a result which, surprisingly, was not reported by the blog Walkoff Walk.

About Last Night...

sussman — Sun, 25 May 2008 10:45:00 EDT

What you missed re-creating the chase scene from Space Mutiny...
• NBA: Yeah, well, Boston still hasn't won two road games yet.
• NHL: Son of Samuel goes on massive scoring spree, dozens wounded, Red Wings at large with 4-0 win.
• MLB: Cubs won the first eight innings. Problem is, the dang thing went to 14.

Oh, and if you have tips for me today, just send them directly into my secretary. Yes, I have my secretary work Sundays. She's a peach, though.

About Last Night

sussman — Sat, 24 May 2008 10:45:00 EDT

What you missed while watching the most realistic portrayal of Helen Keller ever...

• NBA: San Antonio flies back home for Game 3 after three quarters, enabling Los Angeles to finish with 30-point victory.
• MLB: Wins are overrated to determine how good a pitcher is. We all know this. Having said that, Barry Zito earns his first one of the year.
• Golf: You have no reason to watch a tournament in Columbus next week.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Fri, 23 May 2008 08:30:44 EDT

What you missed while wrestling a deer in a hair salon ...
• NBA, MLB: Pistons and Tigers both win on the same day? What??
• NHL: Tony Granato is back as coach of the Avalanche, begging the question, why did he leave in the first place?
• NASCAR: Kyle Busch earns pole for Coca-Cola 600, has interaction of some sort with man named Humpy.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Thu, 22 May 2008 08:15:07 EDT

What you missed while incorrectly calling "shotgun" ...
• NBA: Spurs blow 20-point lead in Game 1 loss to Lakers, also lose car keys and wallet.
• MLB: Everything's coming up Red Sox ... Bartolo Colon is back, and pitching well. Boston 6, Kansas City 3.
• Soccer: I don't know a lot about soccer, but I'm pretty sure Manchester United beat Chelsea 6-5 for the European Champions League title.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Wed, 21 May 2008 08:13:19 EDT

What you missed after being arrested for having Wii in your pants ...
• NBA: Celtics stubbornly refuse to give up plan to win all home games, lose all on the road. Boston 88, Detroit 79.
• NFL: No salary cap in 2010? What could possibly go wrong?
• MLB: Now that Lacckkkkey's, back in toowwwwnnn ... look out ole Lackey's back! Angels 3, Blue Jays 1.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Tue, 20 May 2008 07:17:27 EDT

What you missed while observing just another typical day in Arkansas ...
• NBA: Tears on Bourbon Street as Spurs dump Hornets, 91-82, in Game 7, to earn date with Lakers.
• NHL: Red Wings beat Stars 4-1 to advance to finals. Um, hey ... where's the riot?
• MLB: Albert Pujols clouts two homers, puts Jake Peavy on DL. I think. Cardinals 8, Padres 2.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Mon, 19 May 2008 07:56:04 EDT

What you missed while watching the topless news ...
• NBA: The crowd down at Cheers are still celebrating this one ... except for Norm, who's in the crapper. Celtics 97, Cavaliers 92.
• NHL: Bow before our flightless, herring-breathed overlords. Penguins 6, Flyers 0.
• Auto racing: I misunderstood ... I thought "Bump Day" was something else entirely. Foyt makes Indy 500 field.

About Last Night

KOGOD — Sun, 18 May 2008 10:00:00 EDT

What you missed while checking out the Icelandic Phallological Museum...
• MLB: Boston is back within a few percentage points of the Rays following a day/night sweep of the Brewers.
• Cars: Kasey Kahne backed into NASCAR's All-Star race via fan voting and then won the whole damn thing. Fans are smart.
• MLB: Max Scherzer dropped his second career decision since being moved into the rotation in the Tigers 3-2 win over Arizona.

About Last Night

KOGOD — Sat, 17 May 2008 10:00:34 EDT

What you missed while wondering what set off everyone's obsession with anal fisting...
• MLB: The Rays beat the Cardinals, but don't worry about Will, he's drunk.
• NBA: In the night's one playoff game that didn't totally suck, the Lakers knocked the Jazz out of the playoffs. So yes, it is possible to win on the road.
• Boxing: Former champion Chris Byrd got his ass kicked by Shaun George in a most humorous manner.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Fri, 16 May 2008 07:55:06 EDT

What you missed while eating your $100 cheesesteak ...
• NBA: Manu the Hour ... Ginobli's 25 points lead Spurs' rout of Hornets, force game 7 in New Orleans. That should be fun, eh?
• MLB: No matter where you try to hide pitcher Jason Isringhausen, someone's bound to find him. Pirates 11, Cardinals 5.
• NHL: Check that ... Flyers stay alive with 4-2 win over Short, Stout Aquatic Birds.

About Last Night

Rick Chandler — Thu, 15 May 2008 08:07:45 EDT

What you missed while plotting to catch the roadrunner in a perfect storm of ACME mayhem ...
• MLB: The Adventures of Robinson Cano ... Yankees strike back, end Rays' win streak.
• NBA: Kevin Garnett really does prefer those home uniforms. Celtics 96, Cavaliers 89.
• NHL: Stars alive!