Silvio Berlusconi To AC Milan's Players: Stop Sucking Or I Won't Pay You

Libidinous tangerine peel, AC Milan owner, and proto-Trump Silvio Berlusconi is mad. The media magnate has owned Milan for a few decades now, but never before has he had to suffer through such a drab spell of mediocrity. Talking to the players ahead of the biggest match of the season, Berlusconi made clear that if…

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Silvio Berlusconi, Who Somehow Still Owns A.C. Milan, Said Some Racist Shit About Mario Balotelli

Silvio Berlusconi, bunga bunga party alumnus and the only crustacean to serve as prime minister of Italy, has been convicted of paying for sex with an underaged prostitute and tax fraud, and he’s been accused of a truly expansive list of other crimes. Berlusconi was buddies with Muammar Gaddafi, is banned for life…

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