Nobody Wants Fernando Torres

Fernando Torres must've thought that his two-year loan move away from Chelsea—where, instead of repaying his outrageous transfer fee with a highlight reel of goals, he became more well known for his comical, almost unbelievable ability to miss unmissable shots—to AC Milan would be the perfect opportunity to recover… » 12/12/14 3:35pm 12/12/14 3:35pm

Ageless Wonders, Crazy Owners, And Ultras: Our 2014-2015 Serie A Preview

Italy's Serie A is a league of stories, full of characters, narratives, plots, tensions, climaxes, and clichés. Time and again, the line between fact and fiction becomes so blurred that you just have to throw your hands up and shrug. You really couldn't make a lot of this stuff up. » 8/30/14 2:21pm 8/30/14 2:21pm

British Skip Bayless Has A Strong Take On Mario Balotelli

We'll have more on this as an actual soccer move when (if?) it becomes official, but it's looking pretty near certain that AC Milan striker/international style icon Mario Balotelli will be returning to the Premier League, slotting in at Liverpool to replace Luis Suárez. Chris Bascombe over at the Telegraph has fucking » 8/21/14 11:46am 8/21/14 11:46am

How The 3-4-3 Beat Milan And Rethroned Barcelona As The World's Most…

Well, this is awkward. Just two weeks ago many outlets, us sheepishly included, were shoveling dirt on top of Barça's reign as the world's best team. But following a string of terrible results—three losses in 11 days, once to Italian upstarts AC Milan and twice to bitter rivals Real Madrid—Barcelona answered. Last… » 3/13/13 4:19pm 3/13/13 4:19pm

Watch An Italian TV Presenter Lose His Mind Over Milan's Loss To…

Tiziano Crudeli is an cult figure for his demonstrative commentary, and he's also a huge AC Milan fan. So naturally, an Italian TV station had a camera on him as he watched Milan squander a two-goal aggregate lead, falling to Barcelona in the second leg of their Champions League tie yesterday. » 3/13/13 11:26am 3/13/13 11:26am

Putting Blackface On Your Baby To Make Him Look Like Mario Balotelli Is…

Whether or not the act of applying blackface is inherently offensive, there's a very important question the parents of Unknown Racist Internet Baby should have asked themselves first: Do you need the blackface for people to understand who he's supposed to look like? With the sponge mohawk and "Why Always Me?" onesie,… » 3/04/13 10:35am 3/04/13 10:35am

The Eternal Question: Can You Get A Boner From A Girl With A Great Body…

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is charged with paying for sex with an underage stripper, and that's just about the least interesting aspect of his trial. Consider: stripper nuns (one of whom is now a politician, of course.) But there's a sports angle here, and it's gross. » 4/17/12 2:45pm 4/17/12 2:45pm