Mike Trout Somehow Touches Adrian Beltre's Head With No Resistance

You might want to sit down for this. After hitting a triple last night, Angels outfielder Mike Trout chatted with Adrian Beltre, and touched the Rangers third baseman's head without him getting mad. » 9/21/14 10:27am 9/21/14 10:27am

Adrian Beltre And Elvis Andrus Continue To Be Hilarious

Adrian Beltre and Elvis Andrus, who are basically baseball's version of a buddy-cop duo at this point, put on another one of their comedy routines last night. After Andrus floated over to his right to field a pop fly in Beltre's territory, the two had a little tête-à-tête about who exactly needs to learn to stay… » 8/26/14 9:44am 8/26/14 9:44am

Rangers, Blue Jays Baffled At The Sight Of Birds

We're used to seeing weird things happen on the baseball field. From idiots running onto the field for a selfie to the destruction of life via a Randy Johnson pitch, you would think nothing should surprise anyone. » 7/20/14 10:35am 7/20/14 10:35am

Adrian Beltre Gets 2,500th Hit, Unwanted Head Touching

Adrian Beltre collected his 2,500th hit in Tuesday night's game against the Tigers. (That's pretty impressive! He's only the seventh third baseman to reach the mark.) Miguel Cabrera was at first base to give him the ball and a quick touch on the head. Beltre, a man who hates having his head touched, did not appreciate… » 6/25/14 10:20am 6/25/14 10:20am

Miguel Cabrera Touches Adrian Beltre's Head; Beltre Flips Out

Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre hates when anyone touches his head. When someone touches his head, a switch flips, and he gets so angry. He's always been like this, and it's always been hilarious. So, when Miguel Cabrera touched his head during a break in play last night, Beltre was unsurprisingly pissed. » 5/24/14 10:00am 5/24/14 10:00am

Elvis Andrus Is Still Fucking With Adrian Beltre

Elvis Andrus just can't help himself. We've watched him spend a good part of the last few seasons messing with teammate Adrian Beltre on and off the field, but somehow his routine never gets old. Andrus's latest bit of shenanigans took place during last night's Rangers-Orioles game. » 7/09/13 11:08am 7/09/13 11:08am

This Gallery Of Adrian Beltre GIFs Will Make Your Day

GIF maestro Drew Sheppard went and did us all a huge favor by creating a gallery of Texas Rangers-era Adrian Beltre GIFs. The gallery is full of all the things that make Beltre so damn GIFable: From-the-knees homers, slick defensive plays, and plenty of Beltre's patented don't-touch-my-head freakouts. Go check it out… » 5/30/13 12:11pm 5/30/13 12:11pm

Felix Hernandez And Adrian Beltre Spent Last Night's Game Talking Trash

Hernandez and Beltre were teammates in Seattle for five years, and became fast friends. So from the moment Beltre ran to first after a seeing-eye single in the second, to when he was retired on a flyout in the sixth, the two did nothing but jaw at each other good-naturedly. See? It's just a game! Mariners won, 6-1.… » 5/22/12 1:50pm 5/22/12 1:50pm

Of Bad Mechanics And Torn Testicles; Or, Why I Love Adrian Beltre

The Classical launches in November, but the cruel folks behind it love baseball way too much to let the World Series pass without comment. Throughout the series, its writers will do a daily diary for Deadspin. Keep tabs on us @Classical. » 10/25/11 6:20pm 10/25/11 6:20pm

Adrian Beltre Was All Set To Tackle Miguel Cabrera

Your morning roundup for Oct. 12, the day we learned that charming door-to-door breast examiner turned out to be a phony. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. » 10/12/11 9:50am 10/12/11 9:50am

Here's A Better Angle Of That TBS Cameraman Eating Shit Yesterday

My god, this is glorious. I think that someone should build a sculpture of this, call it "High School Everlasting," and put it in a modern art museum. But don't forget, Adrian Beltre: the nerd's always supposed to get the last laugh. » 10/05/11 11:05am 10/05/11 11:05am

A Homemade Infographic To Help Explain Who Is Still Chasing The Pennant…

Adrian Beltre, who the Boston Red Sox decided not to keep around this year, hit three home runs this afternoon, carrying the Texas Rangers into the American League Championship Series. That's two more homers than any Red Sox third baseman hit in any game this year. Just one of those subtle statistical indicators that… » 10/04/11 5:40pm 10/04/11 5:40pm

A Cameraman Wiped Out During Today's Rangers-Rays Game (Updated With…

A cameraman wiped out while tracking Adrian Beltre on his trot home after a solo shot in the second inning. We'll have video shortly, of course. » 10/04/11 2:57pm 10/04/11 2:57pm

Did Andres Blanco Make Adrian Beltre Sit In His Fart Cloud? Oh, Yes, He…

And this is why you have to love regular-season baseball. We showed you the highs several minutes ago, but there are lows, too. Such riveting lows they are. » 7/26/11 11:00pm 7/26/11 11:00pm

Ken Griffey Jr. Helps Welcome Adrian Beltre Back After Testicle Mishap

"When Beltre came up for his first at-bat, the theme for Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker" was played, a gesture from Ken Griffey Jr., whose MRI on his knee showed no structural damage." [SeattlePI] » 9/03/09 12:39am 9/03/09 12:39am

Adrian Beltre Goes On The DL With An OH GOD WHY OW OW OW

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. » 8/14/09 6:30am 8/14/09 6:30am