You wish you were still capable of being as happy about anything as this young Caps fan was about Alex Ovechkin's power-play goal to tie the game.

It's all gone wrong for the Capitals, sitting firmly in last place in the East. (They do have a game in hand on the Islanders, which is a very sad parenthetical to write.) Fairly or not, much of the blame has fallen on Alexander Ovechkin, once a consensus Top-2 player in the world, now painted as an underachiever…

We noted yesterday there is indeed professional hockey being played, and much of it can actually be watched on television! ESPN2 aired the much-anticipated Lev-Dynamo game, one claimed by Moscow after Alexander Ovechkin seized a mishandled puck and tucked it in for the game's only goal.

Everyone needs to take back all the mean things they said about Alex Ovechkin's third-grade napkin scrawl of a bracket. He nailed the Norfolk State over Mizzou upset, and appears to have them advancing to the Elite Eight.

Ovechkin awakened from a weeks-long Twitter slumber to send out this photo with the caption "With lucky guy James who win Mr Big dinner with me. Hahaha))))" (Those are Russian smiley faces, I believe.) But—that cake. Can we talk about the cake? I could take or leave the dinner with Ovechkin — his English isn't excellent, …

Back when it looked like Alexander Ovechkin might not be named to the All-Star Game, he told a reporter he wouldn't be disappointed "because I'm going to go straight up to vacation somewhere." But he did make the roster, and also managed to get himself suspended for three games. So he decided no All-Star Game because he…

A little run-in between Ovechkin and Blue Jackets winger/agitator Derek Dorsett on Saturday went mostly unnoticed: Dorsett ran Ovechkin, Ovechkin got in his face, the two received matching minors, then everybody went home to celebrate New Year's Eve. But now Dorsett is accusing Ovechkin of spitting on him during the …

John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has never been associated…

You'll recall that Alex Ovechkin, the supremely talented, supremely underachieving, similarly fat Caps winger, called Boudreau a "fat fuck" after being benched late in a game less than a month ago. Things have not gone well since.