This looks like a home run celebration—you always save the bat-toss-transitional-slow-trot-skip for home runs—but it is not a home run celebration.
In two nights, Alfonso Soriano has four home runs and 13 RBI. In those same nights, the Yankees have demolished the Angels 14-7 and 11-3. He's played 17 games for the Yankees this season and has seven home runs. It is 2013 and Yankee Stadium is chanting "Soriano" like it's 2003.
The Yankees, who can't hit for shit, have officially acquired Alfonso Soriano from the Cubs. Soriano is old and streaky, and will therefore hit cleanup for New York tonight.
So, the next few days will be chock full of end-of-year retrospectives. We'll do our own as well. Today: Road beef, etc.
For all of those who thought that fate had given the Cubs a pass this season; for all who doubted The Curse and figured that 100 years of futility were enough, well, think again, Mojambo. Take a look at your roster tomorrow and notice that heaping helping of Micah Hoffpauir, where Alfonso Soriano should be. What in…
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball game in the style of…
You know the Cubs are competitors this year because their fans are getting ornery. And the target of their orneriness has been Alfonso Soriano, who plays left field as if he's crossing ice with eels as slippers. But the Cubs organization has had just about enough of fans' darned negativity.
Say what you will about the Chicago Cubs, but they aren't letting a little thing like an impending sale stand in the way of paying a ridiculous amount for a big name. In a move that should put those A-Rod rumors to the crematorium, the Cubs signed Alfonso Soriano to an eight-year, $136 million deal. That's eight years…
Forty. Forty. Forty. There was a time in the not-too-distant past when seeing that word three times in a row would mean that I had 120 ounces of this garbage coursing through my veins. Today, however, it represents the remarkable accomplishment of Alfonso Soriano, becoming the first ever member of the 40/40/40 Club.
So the big story of yesterday's trade deadline, as tends to be the case, turned out to be what not happened: Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden hung on to impending free agent Alfonso Soriano rather than flipping for prospects, or cash, or beans, or whatever. Because the Natinoals aren't going anywhere…
Alfonso Soriano might suck at being a left fielder, but if you're at a Nationals game, and sitting in foul territory with a woman who hasn't had a proper screening for ovarian cancer, there's no one else you'd rather have at the plate.
Well, it appears that Alfonso Soriano has agreed to play left field for the Nationals in spring training and is, in fact, playing the position right now, against the Cardinals. It "ends" a "standoff" that would be the sports world equivalent of Waco if, you know, Frank Robinson had set fire to Soriano at the end of it.
The moment of truth finally came for Alfonso Soriano and the Washington Nationals yesterday ... and everybody lost.