This year there were plenty of ladies who abused their side-project privilege and became more well known then the athletes who patronize their company would probably like. This is the harsh reality of the internet age: if you want to keep a lady on the side, you better make sure she doesn't have a Facebook account or have some career ambitions beyond the bedroom.

• Jose Reyes probably wishes he never met Bentley Mathews.

• Alfonso Soriano also made a friend

• Alicia Marie was accused of being one of A-Rod's many muscular ladies, but quickly set the record straight.

• Roger Clemens just couldn't escape all the women willing to talk about him

• Antonio Pierce's wife was not happy with this video

• Matt Leinart beer-bonged his way to infamy , then became a Jeopardy! question.

• The ladies discussed this phenomenon

Now, of course, these photos don't show anything that revealing other than a few shots of Soriano and Wiesen nuzzling together. However, according to the Cubs' 2008 media guide, Soriano is married to a woman named Angelica, mother of his four children.

But this isn't about Fonzie's (supposed) infidelity — its' about Keri and her willingness to jeopardize Mr. Soriano's marriage in an effort to increase her own Facebook visibility and, perhaps, her dream of becoming the next Sylvia Plath.

Wiesen lists her current employer as Hugo's Frog Bar and Fish House, where she's a hostess and Oak Bank, where she's a "personal banker."

Keri is also an Obama supporter, "FUN", a rap fan (AKON!!!) and lists her personal favorite quotation as "YOU SURE YOU WANT ME? because I'M AN EXPENSIVE BITCH", which I believe is from Goethe's The Sorrows of Young Werther.

The sad part is, Wiesen will probably get better playoff seats this year than Leo Hildebrand.

A couple of hours later in a 7-2 victory over Atlanta, Soriano was hit on the left hand on an 0-2 pitch by Braves pitcher Jeff Bennett in the second inning, suffering a broken bone that will force him to miss at least six weeks. "A costly loss," Cubs manager Lou Piniella said. "No question. He was starting to run the way we thought he would, playing well in the outfield. It's a bad break for us, just an unfortunate thing. But these things happen in baseball."

And they especially happen to the Cubs, who had thought that, finally, they were curse-proof. Chicago enjoys the best record in the majors, and Soriano was a big part of that, hitting .284 with 40 RBI and 15 home runs. Taking his roster spot will be Micah Hoffpauir, up from the Class AAA Iowa Cubs, with Ryan Theriot moving into Soriano's leadoff spot. Sorry, no Barry Bonds or Sammy Sosa.

Bennett himself was a replacement; for Jair Jurjjens, the Braves' starter who injured his ankle falling down the dugout steps after Tuesday's game. Yep, God was working overtime on this one.

Typically though, Cubs fans are pretending all is well. No panic here. Nope. (Pause) AHHH! From Bleed Cubbie Blue:

Fun, right? Isn't that what this season has been? The Cubs will miss Alfonso Soriano, but they'll be just fine. That's the method of the 2008 Cubs. Hats off to Ryan Dempster this morning. He threw a great game and gave the bullpen the night off, which they sorely needed. Let's sweep this series today.

Poor saps. It's like the past 100 years have taught them nothing.

And I don't know if this will help or hinder, but the Cubs will wear their 1948 home uniforms today in their game on WGN against the Braves (2:10 p.m., ET) as a tribute to their 60th season of baseball on the station. They're even going to televise some innings in black and white, with no replays or graphics.

Soriano Out 6 Weeks With Broken Hand [Chicago Tribune]

The horsehide arced toward the heavens, and seemed surely to portend the finality of the afternoon’s proceedings. As it reached its apogee, and began a lazy descent, paying customers gathered up their purchased gonfalons and made ready for the trip homeward. Surely, the stalwart tasked with patrolling the liberal side of the Second City outfield, Alfonso “40-40 Sori” Soriano, would welcome the pill in a leathery embrace, and the 27th out would be recorded—and thus, another notch in the accursed Chicagoans ledger.

But wait! Notice the tentative step, the anguished look, and the glove hand outstretched, not with confidence but in feeble defense. The halting Alphonse had lost visual contact. Helios had seized control of the affair! The same sol that had scorched the grandstand with its warming rays, resulting in the pulpy whiteness of the assembled Pirate Faithful turning an angry shade of pink, now blinded the unfortunate Bear Cub to the pill’s parabola.

The seemingly doe-eyed fly lifted from the ash of Nate “The Peroxide Pirate” McLouth suddenly grew fangs, and thoroughbreding his way around the infield was Brian Bixler, recently called up from Indianapolis and now making like the diamond was the famed Brickyard. When ball met grass, the BB gun had already shot past the hot corner. He easily tallied the tying touch of home dish, hitching matters at 5-apiece, and for the second contest running, bonus base ball loomed.

(Somehow, the Scoring Solomon adjudged this egregious display of gloved maladroitness to be a two-sacker for the Bleached One, rather than an E-7, rendering immediately illegitimate the Halfway-Home lashes from the likes of LaRoche and Lee.)

“It's very tough when you don't see the ball," the Abashed Alfonso explained in a withering understatement. The Gods had made their presence felt, and for once, it was to the benefit of the Iron City Crew. Gazing down upon The Confluence from their bleacher seats upon Mt. Olympus, Zeus and Apollo, decked out in Bucs finery and washing down their Cracker Jack with ambrosia, hooted, “Get thee back to the keystone sack, sir!”

The BC Lion, Jason Bay, was the previous day’s hoagie, bringing a contest spanning fourteen innings to an abrupt halt with the winning whippet. Cue Punxsutawny Phil to emerge from his hole, for in a rerun of Saturday’s splendor, the Sabbath featured another skip away safety by the bountiful Bay. The Gentleman Masher plated Chris “Dirtbag” Gomez with a bingle in the eleventh innings, and the Burghers once again treated Chicago like Miss O’Leary’s cow, this time 6-5.

Prior to the sun-field shenanigans, appearances were that Luis “Muy Decepcionante” Rivas, of all flannelled figures, was to be the center of scribed attention. The puny utilityman had muscled balls over the planking only 31 times in his flaccid history, a “rate” of only once for every 63 strolls to the batting rectangle. In a development that would give Ripley pause, the suddenly hulking Rivas struck Long Socks in his first two trips to the plate, staking the Privateers to an early advantage with the first, and offsetting a Boulevard Blast from “What, Me Worry?” Al Soriano with the second.

But the day’s decisive blow seemed to have been landed upside the Pittsburgh brow, turning it crimson, by Aramis “Teen Sensation” Ramirez. The latter-day Santo completed the task begun by Derrek “Project 3000” Lee, bouncing one back through the box to bring the Lanky Lefty homeward, and punch Pirate pill-tosser Paul “Crystal Method” Maholm’s time clock for the day. The twirler who made the Borscht Belter look as foolish as he did during “City Slickers 2” performed admirably, hauling the mail for an octet of innings, but he was in position for a D when “40-40”’s mysterious outfield stylings removed the hook from his mouth.

Base ball, of course, is not only our Pastime, but our Passion. However, these two nines, when coupled here in the City of Bridges, take their love for the game to Don Juan-levels of ardor. In the half-dozen catered affairs thus held at PNC Park, a quartet have required surplus innings, and the assembled action has toted seventy innings in all. Now, every hour spent at the Elysian Field is one not spent toiling at life’s daily mill, so far be it for this reporter to knock overtime, but perhaps Messrs. Piniella and Russell would be so kind as to inform their charges that Mr. Doubleday ordained nine innings to be sufficient, and that sitting passively for nearly four hours is a recipe for tired blood. Otherwise, some fan or ink-stained wretch will surely succumb to heat stroke, or deep vein thrombosis, and that will be a dark day in the annals of the Clockless Sport indeed.

Soriano has been taking so much heat, and is apparently so sensitive, that yesterday the Cubs informed fans in the left field bleachers that booing Soriano would get them kicked out of Wrigley.

A Cubs official offered protection for Soriano, instructing left-field bleacherites before Monday's game that any profane or inappropriate comments made toward Soriano would result in their immediate ejection.



"If someone was overstepping their bounds, we would quickly correct the problem," a Cubs spokesperson said, adding there were no problems.

We encourage this Stuart Scott-ization of fans' interactions with their teams. We are, after all, paying all of their salaries; the least we can do is try to make sure they always feel good about themselves.

OK, Al: You're good enough, you're smart enough, and doggone it, you can play left field. Really.

Alfonso Soriano Defended By Manager, Teammates [Chicago Tribune]

The move was obviously meant to rejuvenate a fan base that tends to be more interested in keg stands in the bleachers than winning of late — who can blame them, really? — so obviously Cubs fans are losing their minds in joy about the deal, right? Well, kind of.

The Cubs have a new batting coach, Gerald Perry, who helps preach patience at the plate, and I don't see any reason why Soriano couldn't continue to do what he did last year. His 2006 splits show that he hit for a better average outside of Washington, and had almost equal power (.561 SLG at home, .558 on the road). Yes, by year 6 or 7 or 8 of this deal, it'll look like an albatross. But if the Cubs really can shore up the starting pitching, suddenly they have three major power threats (Lee, Ramirez, Soriano) and one minor one (Barrett, if he's not dealt). The lineup's far better than it was a year ago.

Of course, there's some cuteness out there ("If the Chicago Cubs win the World Series at any point during Soriano's contract, then it is totally worth it no matter what." Hee!), but mostly, Cubs fans just seem excited that they seem to finally be trying. Baby steps!

Nice job not trading him at the deadline, though, Mr. Bowden.

Soriano To The Cubs [Baseball Musings]
Well. [Bleed Cubbie Blue]
Second Thought: Awed And Impressed [Goat Riders Of The Apocalypse]
Let's Play Two! [The Cub Reporter]

Soriano's come a long way from the beginning of the season, when he was the selfish prick in Washington who refused to move his defensively deficient ass to left field.

That's 40 home runs, 40 stolen bases, and 40 doubles, if you're wondering about the extra 40. Adding the doubles to create another statistical achievement, to me, seems a bit contrived, but that doesn't make it any less impressive. It's baseball. Numbers are very big in baseball, and if nothing else, it's still 80 extra base hits, which is impressive on its own. And 40/40/40 just sounds cool.

Does it still qualify as a club if there's only one member? They won't be collecting a whole lot of dues in that club, but they'll save money in constructing the treehouse. And at least it gets him out of the 40/40 club, which has some unsavory members.

Soriano becomes first 40-40-40 player as Nationals beat Mets 3-2 [Metro]
Alfonso Soriano Regrets Joining 40-40 Club After Meeting Other Members [The Onion]

So how are the Nationals fans handling Bowden's non-move?

• Capitol Punishment: "Look at it as a reserve price auction. Let's say that you're selling an engagement ring because your fiancee hated your leather pants, and there was an ugly incident where she was beating and scratching you in front of a cop. When you're selling it on Ebay, you're probably going to set a reserve price. You don't want some schlub like Billy Beane coming in and paying $1.75 for a ring you just laid several thousand rubles for."

• Chris' Sports Blog: "I can't say this enough: Alfonso Soriano still being a National is mind-boggling. As I wrote earlier today, Bowden's ego got in the way of the team. He has to be fired at the end of the year and Stan Kasten needs to hire a general manager with the sense to build a team the right way; with young players. It won't put butts in the seat next year but grass doesn't grow right away either. It's a process. The only process Jim Bowden believes in is his own ability to turn water into wine."

• Ball Wonk: "Someone will overpay for Soriano's talent, and despite his nice-guy talk Fonzie doesn't seem likely to take a pay cut to stay with the Nationals ... you've gotta figure his minimum is going to be $15 per year on a long-term contract. $75 mil and five years is probably his opening bid, and since we're not a young second-place team looking to take over the division, even that's probably too rich for Washington's blood. Which leaves Nationals fans having to hope either that Fonzie suffers a late-season slump that lowers his price into the range we can afford or that the Yankees and other potential free-agent bidders suffer late-season collapses so that the first-round draft pick we get for losing Fonzie is a good one. "

And fans at District Of Baseball are taking a wait and see attitude. We just hope, as always, that Bowden didn't go out and "celebrate" his non-trade.

A tipster sent in a note about a woman at a Rangers game last year who was pegged in the stomach by a Soriano foul ball. Fearing that something had been ruptured, she went to the hospital to get herself checked out. The doctor did a CAT scan and found that the woman had ovarian cancer. They caught it just in time, were able to operate, she had some chemo, and now she's in remission. Taking a Soriano line drive to the gut helped save this woman's life.

Officials at the hospital thought it would be helpful if Soriano then became a spokesperson for ovarian cancer screenings, appearing in public service announcements and such. Soriano refused and insisted on being a cancer doctor, saying that Oncologist was his more natural position. The hospital told him no, citing that they already had a pretty good cancer doctor, and that Soriano could do more good by taking the position of spokesperson. He eventually relented.

A Life-Saving Line Drive [CBS News]

Capitol Punishment will have updates on this throughout the day, which is good, because it's more than likely this will be the last time the Nationals make this much news all season. Unless Soriano asks to catch or something.

Soriano Agrees To Play Left [Washington Post]
Capitol Punishment

The Nationals acquired Soriano in the offseason specifically for him to play left field, even though he made it clear there was no way he was going to play left field. The game of chicken began, and it ended yesterday ... with both trucks ramming into each other head on. The Nationals made a big show of putting him in the lineup and then acting shocked when he didn't head out to the field. This was a blatant "look at him, he's such a jerk!" move meant to cover up the foolishness of trading for Soriano in the first place. (A great roundup of the situation can be found at Capitol Punishment.)

And so there's an impasse, an immovable object/unstoppable force situation. A player being a jerk, and an organization trying to salvage a situation it created. (It's almost like Bud Selig is still running this team, heh.) And the real victims? Fantasy owners. Where the hell are you supposed to draft Soriano now? It is we who suffer the real slings and arrows of outrageous misfortune.

The Soriano Circus [Off Wing Opinion]
Defending Soriano [Capitol Punishment]