"Amazing Grace" Played By Airhorns Is Our New National Anthem, Breh

Please, a moment of extreme silence to honor America and our Lord, for here is “Amazing Grace” played by a choir of airhorns. Hats off, hands on your hearts. Please direct your local place of worship to add this to the docket this Sunday, as it is both religious and our new national anthem. I literally have no idea… » 5/22/15 12:14pm 5/22/15 12:14pm

Boy Scouts Aren't Allowed to Have Water Gun Fights Now

The Boy Scouts of America, a paramilitary children’s organization inspired in part by the exploits of the young Mafeking Cadet Corps during the Second Boer War, has forbidden its present-day members to shoot squirt guns at one another. A blog post for adult Scout leaders on the Scouting Magazine website reports that… » 5/19/15 2:36pm 5/19/15 2:36pm

The Police Are America's Terrorists

Last Saturday, Walter Scott was driving his Mercedes in North Charleston, S.C., when he was pulled over by police officer Michael Slager for driving with a broken taillight. Scott had a complicated life, as many of us do. He was employed and engaged; he owed back child support; in all likelihood he really didn’t… » 4/08/15 9:26pm 4/08/15 9:26pm

Fuck The British Royal Family

His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Personal Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty The Queen, looks like a goddamn donkey. … » 12/09/14 11:10am 12/09/14 11:10am

The American Justice System Is Not Broken

In July, New York police officer Daniel Pantaleo choked unarmed black man Eric Garner to death, in broad daylight, while a bystander caught it on video. That is what American police do. Yesterday, despite the video, despite an NYPD prohibition of exactly the sort of chokehold Pantaleo used, and despite the New York… » 12/03/14 10:08pm 12/03/14 10:08pm

America's Ugliest Accent, Round One: Boston, Baltimore, L.A., Chicago

If you're from Philadelphia, your preferred non-Yuengling beverage is wooder. If you're from New York City, your greatest enemies are the bridge-and-tunnel crowd from Lawng Island. If you're from Los Angeles, you respond to people who hop on the 405 at rush hour with a pained "Whyy-ee?" » 9/29/14 2:44pm 9/29/14 2:44pm

​The "Nanny From Hell" Is an American Hero

As the story of the so-called "Nanny From Hell" continues to unfold, it becomes clearer and clearer that America is a nation of cringing dupes and shameless predators, and that most of the predators are also dupes. The coverage, very much including this site's own coverage, has been dedicated to the peculiar notion… » 7/03/14 9:24am 7/03/14 9:24am

Awesome Map: The United States Of America, By Regional Sport

What sport can each state lay claim to? The map above, by Josh Levin and Jess Fink of Slate, attempts to answer this fun but fascinating question, picking 51 sports to dish out across the country. The results range from awesome (mountain climbing in Colorado) to goofy (cornhole in Ohio) to extremely specific (16-inch… » 10/08/13 1:36pm 10/08/13 1:36pm

The Sportswriter Who Wrote American Better Than Anyone Anywheres

Below is John Lardner's introduction to a 1959 edition of Ring Lardner's You Know Me Al, a fictional series of letters from professional ballplayer Jack Keefe to his friend Al. Those stories are included in the Library of America's new collection. (There was also a comic strip based on the same characters, with… » 8/28/13 6:27pm 8/28/13 6:27pm

John Daly's Pants Are Why God Continues To Bless The U.S.A.

Today we salute the sartorial choice of one John Patrick Daly, age 47, professional golfer, recreational smoker, University of Arkansas dropout, lapband surgery patient, puller of muscles, designer of golf courses, breaker of cameras, personal friend to Hootie and assorted Blowfish, Vegas whale, tosser of putters,… » 7/04/13 4:16pm 7/04/13 4:16pm