The crack reporting team at KUTV dug up the photo (which comes to us via SLC Dunk). Take it away, Dan Sheldon:

So Andrei Kirilenko, a jet ski, and a pig walk into a bar… I don't have a punchline for it yet but I do have the picture thanks to a friend of mine on vacation in the Bahamas at the same time as the Jazz forward. Apparently the wild pigs run out of the woods and down to the shoreline whenever they hear an engine because so many people have fed them over the years.

AK-47 may be a few rounds shy of a full magazine, but say this for the man: He is physically incapable of taking a dull photo.

*******

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy Levon.

And yes: The Kirilenko now has his freebie jokes are inevitable, and absolutely justified.

Your New Years Eve Was Completely Different [Basketball John]
Kirilenko's Wife Lets Him Sleep With Other Women; Other Women Say, "Uh, Thanks, But No Thanks" [Deadspin]

If you watch closely, you can see Andrei Kirilenko looking back at Baron Davis afterwards, as if to say, "You know, that really wasn't necessary." Even Adonal Foyle crinkled up his nose in a "Damn that was nasty," kind of a way. When Adonal Foyle acknowledges the nastiness, you know things just got nasty.

And that's pretty much the way things went for the Warriors last night. The threes were falling, their rebound deficit was much more manageable, the Jazz were hamstrung by guard foul trouble, and a couple minutes into the second quarter, things had been pretty much decided. Baron Davis had 32, Jason Richardson had 25, and Stephen Jackson only had 8, but you can't discount the value of Baron Davis having his shoulders kept dirt-free.

On This Night, Utah Can't Hang with Golden State [TrueHoop]

"I was definitely 'AK-47' tonight," he said, smiling.

Sure, dude, whatever. Anyway, the Jazz win sets up the playoffs' first Game Seven matchup, Saturday night in Houston. And, more than anyone else, Tracy McGrady will be the center of everyone's attention. If the guy can't make it out of the first round this time, with the Jazz vulnerable and Golden State sitting there, tantalizing, in the second round, then Mr. McGrady is going to have almost as much explaining to do as Mr. Nowitzki.

Kirilenko Saves The Day, Jazz [Salt Lake Tribune]
It's On You, Tracy McGrady? Then It's On You [The Fanhouse]

In an interview with ESPN Magazine, Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko's wife, former Russian "pop star" Masha Lopatova, says that she allots her husband one free groupie a year. Yep. To quote:

"What's forbidden is always desirable. And athletes, particularly men, are susceptible to all the things they are offered," Lopatova said. "It's the same way raising children - If I tell my child, 'No pizza, no pizza, no pizza,' what does he want more than anything? Pizza."

Thus, since there's so much pizza available on the road in the NBA, she says as long as she knows about it, it's OK. Kirilenko, for his part, knew nothing about the arrangement. "I'm not planning to do anything," he said, before rushing out the door, removing his belt and yelling, "OK, Mormons ... come get some!"

Wife Gives Kirilenko Woman 'Allowance' [Salt Lake Tribune]