To be brief- we want you to be funny, we want you to be coherent and we want you to contribute to the post at hand.

For those of you who are new around here, and for those of you who just don't get it, in no particular order, here's what we are looking for in a comment:

* Good spelling and grammar (this includes coherence, capitalization and punctuation).
* Hilarity.
* Staying on topic. Ask yourself, is this threadjack worth it, or should I make a #hashtag page?

Hashtagging: Wave of the Future!

As stated earlier, staying on-topic in a thread is essential — but ZOMG!!1!! you can also take a topic to your own generated #hashtag page, then direct others there. Ex. The St. Louis Canucks have just traded Joe Pesci to the Florida Squirrels— instead of threadjackin' the Jamboroo, create a hashtag for #canuckstrade and in there, you may safely discuss this move. Additionally, Editors may sometimes caution that a thread has gone off-topic and should be moved to another forum.

Working for "#tips!"

The Gawker #tips pages have become quite a scene, man: #tips and it's high time we show those world-weary posers what #tips are all about. The #tips tag is the best way to share breaking news, leaked info, links of interest and timely video. Give us some substantive lines on why we should follow up, and your post may be promoted or featured on the blog. The #tips page is also an excellent space to audition as a first-time commenter with a juicy tidbit or to show off your investigative instincts. Self-promoters and spammers will be summarily banned, but quality contributors have the spotlight. Go to http://deadspin.com/tag/tips/ and let us know what's going on.

A Room of One's Own

Attention! In addition, there is now an informal commenter forum, [#duan], where the conversation is yours to guide. This is the place to add comments, liveblogs, pictures, video, and links that are relevant to your community. It's also easy to jump over here if you find yourself veering off-topic and want to take others with you.

Rules of Behavior

These go for everyone:

* Personal attacks, inappropriate behavior and off-topic rants in comments are subject to bans, disemvowelling and deletion.
* Commenters can be demoted for unruly or obscene posting.

Starred Commenters:

* Your privileges are not guaranteed. This is not Princeton, and you most certainly do not have tenure. Poor performance will get you demoted and de-starred.
* Be careful in the comments you approve and promote. Promoting a comment just to tell someone they suck is pointless, best to ignore them. Do it and you will be de-starred.

As always, we and the editors are always on the lookout for our best contributors, to promote and star for brilliant efforts. Do your best, be creative and we will see you on the Internet!

The book is called Purple Reign, which also seems presumptuous, but what it lacks in reserve it more than makes up for in GIANT COLOR PHOTOGRAPHS OF BRETT FAVRE. Here's what the publisher has to say, in language borrowed from Tiger Beat:

Brett Favre is an American institution. A living breathing sports icon. One of the most popular and interesting athletes of this or any generation. Just when you think you've seen it all from the gunslinger from Mississippi, he ends up on the banks of the Mississippi River in Minnesota to re-write the record books yet again. His path to purple was paved with unbelievable drama and suspense, much like the 2009 season. Follow the journey every step of the way, from the invitation he received to join a budding powerhouse with just one missing link ... through the miraculous finishes on the field ... and excitement off of it.

Oh, there's more:

Stunning, full-color photographs throughout the book preserve this epic moment in history for generations to come!

Brett Favre's first season in Minnesota will go down as the most memorable in the history of the franchise. This book captures every spine-tingling moment from the day he received the first call to come to Minnesota, to his dramatic arrival, all the way past the first half of the 2009 season. The memories in this book will be cherished forever by current and future generation of Vikings fans.

Forever, or at least until his fourth interception in the NFC championship game.

Brett Favre: Magical Memories in Minnesota [Star Tribune]

* * * * *

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! Tomorrow, we have some very special guest editors: the crew from Young Manhattanite. These people, I am told, will make Moe Tkacik look like Ring Lardner. Be sure to check in. Barry will be here on Sunday to restore order and frustrate the toe-fetishists among you. Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin.

• There are only eight nominees, rather than the 16 of years past.
• These eight nominees are unseeded.
• We will be announcing a nominee a day through next Friday, in alphabetical order.
• Voting will begin the morning of Monday, December 14, and a winner will be announced on Wednesday, December 16.
• Then everyone can move on with their lives.

Yes, this might be a little jarring to some of you, (CHANGE! BAD! YOU'RE RUINING IT! ETC.) but I've found that SHOTY seems to drag on and on, and by the time you get back from the holiday break, everyone's forgotten who or what or why they're supposed to be voting. So Leitch and I picked 8 people we felt exemplified the true spirit of SHOTY-ness (whatever that is) and we'll just have one big vote at the end so chubby-baby-loving rubes from Kansas can't stuff the ballot and piss everyone off.

Tomorrow, Emeritus will reveal the first nominee.

But for many of you, the day after Thanksgiving is also that time of the year where you have to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. I documented my experience last year. This year, it's your turn. Please submit your High School Reunion Horror Stories so we call have something to read about besides the shitty Colorado Nebraska game or whatever basketball slop is thrown our way.

This is basically your time to vent: give us all your awkward interactions, bitch about the food, gripe about who got fat. Consider this a service piece for all those unfortunate individuals who will have to spend their Friday evening realizing either that their life hasn't gotten any better since senior year of high school or that, yes, 35-year-old white people still feel compelled to pogo-jump in the air when House Of Pain comes on if they are in a group together.

Send to ajd@deadspin.com. Please don't send anything about Pat Murphy.

It's ridiculous to blame Drew for "not vetting" this story as thoroughly as possible given that he's doing a series that's built on first-hand accounts about supposedly asshole coaches. Drew came to me with this story and suggested this one was unique enough to stand on its own outside of the series. I agreed. It was amusing and given Murphy's reputation as a hot-head and the other details of the event that were clearly true, it seemed completely plausible.

Obviously, that was wrong. When you run one-sided versions of stories, which we often do here, the goal is just that — to show one person's side. That's it. It's been my experience, more often than not, that putting these first-person accounts on items reveal a larger truth or open the door to finding out the bigger story. This is how we've successfully done many things on this site over the years from "You're With Me Leather" to Josh Hamilton.

Of course, this is not how traditional media outlets do things. Most people read Deadspin for various reasons but I don't think any readers come here with the idea that what they'll find will be something they'd find in magazines, newspapers, or websites that they'd find elsewhere. This site has been built employing both traditional journalism practices and non-traditional ones, which has tremendous benefits but plenty of risks as well. I don't think it's that difficult to distinguish between when we're practicing journalism and, especially, when we don't. But when facts are wrong, they get corrected, as they should. And unlike other traditional publications, I think we draw a lot more attention to our mistakes than just a 10 word correction buried on page A12.

We've already run the correction on the story and Drew did his best to rectify that situation. This is simply me underlining that fact that he was doing what he was told to do by me and he's not the bad guy in this situation. The real culprit is the misguided fellow who emailed the bullshit story to begin with and, of course, the very elastic editorial policy employed here by Deadspin which is championed by me.

Regardless of this unfortunate incident, I'm confident that we're doing the right thing most of the time. When we don't, well, it has to be addressed. This is me addressing it.

'Til the next episode.

You now have THREE (tres, trois, drei) ways to contribute to Deadspin and make yourself semi-internet famous:

a. Post tips and clips/photos/etc directly to the site — when you choose, not when we decide to post on a topic. See that box up there that says "Did you see that?" That's where you do this.

b. Create forums where you can chat. You can now create your own forums. So, say we didn't talk about the MNF game but you really, really want to discuss it, you can go right ahead and start talking about it by going up to that little box, typing in a hashtag #MNF and then start discussions. And you can create your own to discuss nonsense anytime you want: #rumors, #thisnewcommentingsystemsucks, #ruinationofdeadspin, #wheresmystar?, #ihateitalians, #RIPFrog., #picturesofstripperswithcokeontheirbelly. Etc. Be creative. Be bold. Be daring. Knock yourselves the fuck out, I'm told.

c. And of course you can still respond to a post or to another comment. In fact it's easier to keep track of those discussions: You'll now get an alert that your comment has been promoted, demoted, etc., making it much to track your successes and failures in the commenting arena.

And why is all this happening? This explanation comes straight from the disembodied head of Nick Denton:

The commenters — since we opened up our properties four years ago — have influenced our sites more than is acknowledged and sometimes more than is comfortable.

Their vocally expressed disdain has drummed out writers; their wit has preserved editorial personality even as our front pages have become more professional; they've steered the discussions, often way off-topic; but just as often they've suggested better headlines and story angles; former commenters such as Ryan Tate and Richard Lawson have written themselves into paid writing jobs; and reader-tipsters have supplied many of our best stories.

And yet we've always insisted that tips and letters to the editor are sent in by email and mediated by our editors; that discussions stay on topics that we determine; and that our writers are the only ones who can initiate stories on the site. No longer.

With the launch of Gawker Open Forums, we're allowing readers to post tips, sightings, game cheats, amateur pap shots and spy photos directly from a form on the front page. Readers can also initiate discussions on any topic they choose simply by including a Twitter-style hashtag in their post. And commenters can expand on a story, or rebut a post, just as now.

We have no idea what uses people will make of these forums. But we suspect that many of them will be mischievous. And that's fine — because we like mischief too.

Christ, he's terrifying.

Now, enjoy the day messing around with all of this stuff. I'm at the airport right now headed to Vegas for Blogs With Balls 2.0. If there are any problems (there will be) leave a comment and let us know. Make sure to write your complaints in ALL CAPS because we enjoy being yelled at.

Yes, Mr. Bissinger has bravely decided that it's time to jump in the mud pit for some good ol' fashioned rapid-fire conversation with anonymous angry folk. Obviously, he truly believes in this book.

Chat starts at 3 p.m. Please be on your very best behavior and try to conduct yourselves with a certain level of decency. Do have fun, though.

This should be...enlightening.

Ninjas be watchin', yo.

We're launching a new segment called "Bad Beats," where people share their most agonizing gambling moments with readers and commenters who can hopefully make light of their debilitating defeat.

So if you're snake-bitten by a bizarre twist of fate, or simply lose the mortgage to crippling addiction, sending your life spiraling into hell, we want to hear about it.

Think of it like group therapy.

Subject: "Bad Beats." The segment will most likely run on Tuesdays.

Choire Sicha. Former Gawker editor, book something or other, Awl dominatrix and esteemed kitten lover will guide this missile for most of the day. (Not a euphemism.)

You may not know this, but Mr. Sicha is an avid sports fan. (Total euphemism.)

He's gonna be great, though, and you'll have a wonderful time torturing each other.

******

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry P brings the bologna hammer later tonight.

Silent. Gray. Etc.

Not at all.

• I do not want to hear about the tricked out party bus you fashioned out of an ice cream truck and painted blue and red for your beloved Buffalo Bills.

• I do not want to hear about how your uncle's truck has a thirty-foot smoker attached to the hitch to he drags to each Texas Tech game to smoke a live pig.

• I don't want to hear about corn-holing — unless there's a unique angle to it and/or someone gets hospitalized.

So, to sum up, no obvious stuff you'll see every dopey local low-level sports anchor in America run out to the parking lot to shoot before every college/pro game.

Your stories should include fighting, vomiting, arrests, blood, heads dunked in chili pots, naked people and other bodily functions that may or may not be covered in the above restrictions. You know — stuff that's only fun to share with your friends or on YouTube under an anonymous name.

Photos/video evidence are not required but encouraged. We plan to run these every Friday afternoon. If you'd like credit, I'll be happy to add it.

Email me with any questions, concerns, or stories.

SUBJECT: FAILgate.

At the end of the season, the winning — or, rather, most popular — submission will be rewarded a Deadspin prize pack. God knows what's in that.

*****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Carry on, wayward sons.

And it would be foolish to ignore that invivtation based on the antiquated notion that They, Worldwide Leaders Of The Universe, are our sworn enemy based on past incidents. Nope, bygones be bygoned, I say.

I agreed that their generous invitation would be an "ample learning experience" for all involved, but due to some prior commitments here in NYC, I won't be able to attend the full day-and-a-half of festivities. So I outsourced.

Considering the top-tier writing talent available to us both in-house and through outside correspondents, I decided it was important to spend our limited funding on a person who, in my opinion, could ably tackle the goose-infested playground in Bristol, Connecticut with the vim and vigor required for such an important assignment. Yes, Spinheads, Blazer Girl is here to rescue us once again.

She is in mid-flight right now most likely carrying a gym bag full of mismatched thrift store wares, her iPod and Xanax. Once she lands, she'll be whisked off to Bristol to get some rest before her big day of ESPN education, along with the many other blogs and traditional media outlets in attendance.

Here's her itinerary:

Thursday, Aug. 27
Time (ET) Topics
9:30 a.m. Digital Media
10:45 a.m. ESPN's 30th Anniversary
12:30 p.m. Lunch with ESPN President George Bodenheimer
2 p.m. Event Production (U.S. Open tennis, NASCAR, 2010 FIFA World Cup, etc.)
3:30 p.m. Campus Tour
4:45 p.m. ESPN International / Writing Time / One-on-One's
6 p.m. ESPN Films "30 for 30"

Friday, Aug. 28
8:30 a.m. Monday Night Football / NFL studio shows
10 a.m. State of Sports roundtable
11:15 p.m. College Football / ESPNU
12:15 p.m. SportsCenter / Journalism

And some of the ESPN on-air talent she'll be mingling with at lunch:

• Bob Ley
• Jeremy Schaap
• Hannah Storm

and...

• Chris Berman

Yep. This is how the story ends, kids. Access. Favor. Indiscretion.

******

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Heady days.

"Quite literally cinematic!" - Bob Costas

I'm Tom, your guest editor for the day. Sometimes I write about sports for Slate and other publications, some of which still haven't gone out of business. I used to write a sports column for City Paper in Baltimore. One time I got a piece in the Best American Sports Writing. Another time I got invited in by the late Syd Thrift for a stern talking-to his office in the Oriole Park warehouse. (You know that voice-and-motion-capture stuff they do to turn human actors into animated characters nowadays? Do that to a Foghorn Leghorn cartoon in reverse, and you'll get the irate Syd Thrift.)

My sports loyalties, which deform everything I write, are as follows: I root for the Baltimore Orioles, first and foremost and for my entire conscious life. My first home was a short walk from Memorial Stadium, and I was cheering for Mark Belanger and Lee May by the age of three. I remember Reggie Jackson showing up as the new guy when I was four and leaving when I was five. Bastard.

I also root for the University of Maryland men's basketball team, an ever-shifting collection of NBA teams that depends on where particular players are, the Philadelphia Eagles, and the Baltimore Colts.

(What? They where? Look, everyone handles childhood abandonment differently. I turn on my TV, I see a team with blue horseshoes on white helmets. The [inaudible] Colts! Fight on, you Colts!)

I despise the New York Yankees.

I also root against Duke men's basketball, Notre Dame football, the Washington [ethnic slur redacted], the Baltimore Ravens, Phil Jackson, the Dallas Cowboys, Rick Pitino, John Calipari, Bob Huggins, Tony La Russa, and Bob Knight. Now that I put it all down like that, maybe I should simplify things and say I root against anyone who has ever coached or managed a team. Except Earl Weaver and Buddy Ryan.

Last time I appeared here, I believe I was 1. ripping the Orioles for trading Erik Bedard for a raft of players including the unproven Adam Jones, 2. disparaging the Tampa Bay Rays, and 3. implying that the Orioles would continue their decade-plus string of failure, particularly their habit of quitting in the second half.

Well. Tampa has won a pennant and is admired throughout baseball for its talent. Erik Bedard has been a fixture of Seattle's disabled list. Adam Jones looks like he will be a superstar in center field and a heart-of-the-lineup slugger for years to come.

And the Orioles—with Jones and Nick Markakis anchoring an all-around delightful outfield, with a collection of thrilling young pitchers beginning to break into the majors, with the most highly regarded prospect in baseball behind the plate—are deep in last place, on an 11-22 second-half death spiral. Told you so.