Actually, there were a few good costumes submitted in this batch and some of you definitely get an A for effort. Some others get a G for "Geez, you're not even trying!" We also have a few costumes from actual professional athletes just to prove that famous people can be just as uncreative and boring as the rest of us.

But hey, we can't all be born with a Hollywood makeup crew at our disposal or the body of a video game character now, can we?

After explicitly ignoring our warning, this fellow decided to go ahead and "salute" the scandal of the year. I'm not sure how wise that was, but one thing is certain...
... anytime you have to put the name of your costume on the front so that people know what the heck it is, you know you've really picked a winner.
Also, it attracts the drunk football gals. [Spotted in Madison, WI. Photos by Andrew B.]
Fortunately, after walking around St. Louis in his Matt Holliday costume for five minutes, Scott S. had enough people throwing baseballs at his crotch that he no longer needed the duct tape.
Who does reader Jonathan G. think he is?
Young Will Gerard of Champaign, Illinois, went as Junior Bruce Weber. Sadly, he died of a brain aneurysm after arguing with a 9-year-old referee over a mini-Snickers.
A different Will G. sent us another Kenny P. Well, he does have a way with the ladies.
I'm not even sure Jason D. meant to submit this as a costume ... unless it's "Kid Who Lives His Whole Life Without Ever Rooting For A Winning Baseball Team." Frightening, indeed.
Adam says his "friend brie is a dead nba ref that's what she gets for fixing game." If you say so. A kneecapping would have sufficed.
Janna S. turned herself into a USC Song Girl then turned that into a zombie. That's the sickest costume I've seen yet. For shame!
Lilia B. also went with the zombie cheerleader theme. She claims she's a Texas fan going as a bloody Okie State backer. That's great, but maybe she should use a napkin when eating french fries.
Andy F. is disqualified for submitting a picture from two years ago and labeling it "me as third-string Neckbeard Orton, with Pat Foley." Oh, Andy. Matt Foley was the motivational speaker played by Chris Farley, who also played Todd O'Connor on "Bill Swerski's Superfans." That looks more like Pat Arnold (played by Mike Myers) ... unless that's actual Blackhawks play-by-play announcer Pat Foley under that get up. In that case, bravo.
"A friend of friend" of Jamie B. dressed as Theo Fleury. Gee, and I wonder why childhood sexual abuse isn't a more popular costume?
Alex Q. is the reason we now have instant replay during apple bobbing contests.
That's supposed to be the real Antoine Walker in Miami Beach dressed as "a guy who can't afford a Halloween costume because he gambled away $50 million." Pretty convincing actually. [Photo sent by Javier F.]
What are these Utah Jazz players supposed to be? Oh, I get it! The Clippers! Very scary. [More photos @ SLC Dunk]
Chicago Blackhawks Jonathan Toews and Adam Burish started the weekend as Dumb and Dumber.... [Not Qualified To Comment]
... then their costumes got really stupid. Actually, that's Burish on the left and Patrick Kane as Scottie Pippen. (No, it's not technically blackface, but if you can't see why white people painting their skin black as part of a joke is problematic, then I can't help you.) [Chicago Now]
Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian ran into their doppelgangers—a slutty cat suit girl and a rejected Muppet. [Friends of the Program; Don't ask me why the faces are painted.]
Yep. Pretty sure that's NOT a costume. [Photo sent by Erinn C. Seen in Ybor City, Tampa]
Finally, the winner of our Sports-O-Ween "contest" is our own FatNakedMoleRat. Anybody who not only recognizes their resemblance to King Hippo, but embraces it, deserves a medal in our book. Bravo, sir.

Well, since he bounced about $1 million worth of checks in Las Vegas you can chalk a healthy portion of that up to gambling losses. But that doesn't explain it all way. Walker was a generous friend and teammate. A little too generous. A Boston Globe investigation into the former Celtic's lavish lifstyle includes free spending, not just on himself—in 2002, he had a new suit made for every day of the playoffs so he wouldn't have to wear the same one twice—but on those in his very large orbit. Teammates say he routinely picked up giant dinner tabs on the road or would hire limos to take everyone out on the town. According to his mother, at one point Walker was financially supporting seventy of his friends and relatives.

However, Diane Walker doesn't see what's wrong with that:

Walker's mother, Diane, said her son does not have a gambling problem. She added that "he doesn't party any more than the next person'' and "what you do with your life is your business.''

"Antoine doesn't owe anybody any explanation,'' said Diane Walker. "He's not out here hurting anybody. He's trying to live his life peacefully. That's all he's doing . . . My son is young. Why can't he just enjoy life, go where he wants to go?''

Because, believe it or not, $110 million does not last a entire lifetime. (At least not when you're spending $10 million a year on watches.) Apparently, Walker gave very little thought to where that money might come from once his basketball career was over. When he did invest, he invested poorly or simply gave it away to charities. Sadly, playing $15,000-a-hand blackjack with Michael Jordan is not a sound retirement strategy.

In 1999, when he signed a six-year, $71 million deal with the Celtics, then-president and coach Rick Pitino said Walker "will never have to worry about money again in his life." So add that to the list of everything else Pitino got wrong in Boston.

Former Celtics star Antoine Walker pursued by creditors as wealth vanishes [Boston Globe]

I thought of this because Antoine Walker was arrested yesterday for passing bad checks, and Walker easily has one of the most deformed heads in sports.

It didn't have to be that way for poor ‘Toine. Doctors now say that wearing a helmet for three months can help correct flatness in the back and give your head the round, spherical, Barkleyesque shape preferred by people the world over. Alas, that never happened for Walker. Apparently, he was left on his back far too often as an infant, perhaps on the hood of an Impala. Either that, or someone decided to use the back of his head for blacksmithing. I'm telling you, that's one ugly head. Who else is a victim of this unfortunate syndrome? Who else could have used the Phillip treatment? Here's a partial freak show…

Yao Ming. Spencer Hall notes: "His head is oddly shaped, even for a Chinaman. I know from experience… It's like pancake ass for the head."

Jermaine O'Neal. Oof. Look at that melon. It's like a silo.

Tim Tebow. Yeah, yeah. He's awesome and Dan Shanoff would like to gargle every morning with his toilet water. But look at that head. It's like Brendan Fraser's head got caught in a car crusher.

Bruce Smith. The number one thing doctors look for to determine Flat Head Syndrome is if your child's skull has right angles. That's never good. Look at that ghastly noggin. Like a big black Rubik's Cube.

Oleksiy Pecherov. I dunno who this guy is, but he's clearly a freak. His eyeballs are practically in his ears. Might be a European thing.

Greg Ostertag/Bryant Reeves. Flat Head Syndrome is practically a requirement for big white basketball stiffs. You're not a true $50 million bust unless you have Simon Cowell's haircut and no cranial curvature.

Will Leitch. Look at that. No wonder he stays indoors so much.

-Antoine Walker joins the NBA All-Star team of gambling deadbeats, alongside Charles Barkley, Alonzo Mourning and Michael Jor[REDACTED BY EDICT OF CZAR STERN] At least Walker tried to pay off his debts. Too bad the checks bounced.

-Pedro Martinez signs with the Phillies, anticlimactically ending his courtship. Also sure to be anticlimactic Pedro's return to the bigs.

-Meanwhile, Los Angeles has taken their offer to Lamar Odom off the table. Gamesmanship? Or, with the cap coming down, can the Lakers simply not afford to pay $9 mil to a fourth option who's running out of potential to live up to?

-To afford to offer Paul Millsap a contract, the Jazz will have to take out a bank loan. Why again did we think Salt Lake City could support a professional sports team?

-MMA poster girl Gina Carano's ex says there's a sex tape. He also says he's "smashed a lot finer than that." Classy.

-Bud Selig says Pete Rose's HOF eligibility is "under review." He declined to set odds for the prop.

-Tony Romo lost a girlfriend, but gained a sense of humor. Does this make you like him more? Didn't think so.

-Because no one believes that Prince Fielder is a vegetarian, here's a list of the 50 fattest MLB players of all time. Starting with Prince's daddy.

For the love of David Stern, make Antoine Walker an NBA All-Star today. Thank you.

Make 'Toine An All-Star
You Can Make Antoine Walker an All Star Again! [Deadspin]

why Walker?
a) he's a funny dude.
b) exemplifies the average american - lazy, overweight, and working just hard enough to collect his paycheck.
c) who doesn't want to see the shimmy in the 2008 all-star game?

Of course this is nothing new to some NBA stars, Gilbert Arenas has been known to stuff a ballot box or two. If you're going to waste your time voting for anyone you might want to follow the lead of the poster pushing for Damon Jones. You know he's just going to show up anyway.

Now they're just bit players in the Finals, or, as Free Darko puts it, " like asking the wacky uncle to make the wedding toast ... the dinner-theater role of a lifetime." Yet if the Heat are going to tie this series tonight, it might behoove each of them to rediscover that they used to be stars ... even if they weren't really stars.

Something to mull over, anyway, as we await Mark Cuban's first pre-game blog entry and check to see if Scottie Pippen has started drinking yet.

Cluttered Parlors Are the Coziest [McSweeney's]