People Will Pay Crazy Amounts For Your Early Apple Products

If the proliferation of Mean Girls (released in 2004) memes on the Internet hasn’t convinced you that the nostalgia cycle is faster than ever, consider that early iPods and Apple promotional materials are now being marketed as classic collectors items—with Ebay values rivaling more traditional memorabilia from far…

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The Apple Watch Has Rendered The Following Celebrities Unfuckable 

The Apple Watch is an expensive way of saying, “Hey, you know what I need more of? Computers. Near or around my person. At all times.” It’s a dumb luxury item, and the only reason you feel even the slightest hint of desire for it is because Apple is good at marketing. Unfortunately, wearing one immediately places you…

Take the Pledge: I Will Not Have Sex With Anyone Who Wears an AppleWatch

Imagine: you're lying in bed, the perfume of lovemaking still stinging your nostrils and firing your neurons, legs tangled with your partner. Baby, that sex with you was so good, you coo, rolling over—only to discover that your partner is wearing a gold miniature smartphone on his wrist. Don't ever let this happen.

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Jim Haslett Accidentally Recorded Himself Trying To Turn Off An iPod's Camera At The Apple Store Best Buy

According to the Youtube description, Redskins defensive coordinator Jim Haslett went to the Apple Store Best Buy in Sterling, Va. As one does, he played around with the electronics. He turned on an iPod Touch. He turned on the camera app. He switched over to video. He pressed record. He couldn't figure out how to…