When a student was jailed for racist tweets directed at Fabrice Muamba, it was an opportunity to discuss the British justice system and the perils of online anonymity. When John Terry was cleared of racially abusing Anton Ferdinand, it was an opportunity to quote a judge saying "cunt" about 72 times. Now here's something …

Boy, we all got psyched for some old-fashioned Eastern European racism, didn't we? "Stadiums of Hate," and Sol Campbell warning about twin black-hating boogeymen Andrzej and Andriy, and even England players leaving their families at home. Well, perhaps there's a lesson here, because not only did English fans and players…

Has Ashley Cole become to News Of The World what the Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle was to Ralphie? Tempting. Teasing. Irresistible.

For all that is totally brilliant about modern technology, all this advancement has a downside. Notably that it's now damn near impossible to casually steamroller a whole host of women behind Cheryl Cole's back and ever have the whole mess forgotten about.

We're about month away from the start of Soccerpocalypse 2010 and that means it's time for entire nations to start trading highly personal insults. Yes, even attempted seduction of another players ex-wife is fair game here.

After Ashley Cole went down with a broken ankle, all of England's hopes rested on Wayne Bridge. Would he put the personal unpleasantness aside, for queen and country? Hell no.