We, or at least I, need to thank Friend of the Program Ryan Noel for his invaluable assistance in the creation of this post; he truly is the wind beneath my wings. Translation: I don't know shit about soccer and I called upon a friend to help me out. Thanks, Ryan!

Match of the Week: Chelsea @ Aston Villa
When/Where: 0730 EST, Setanta Sports
Storyline: Chelsea is entering its first Premier League game with temporary manager Guus Hiddink at the helm. Aston Villa is looking to continue its surprising run to a Champions League spot, with a win pushing them 5 points clear of 4th place Chelsea.
Players to Watch: Gareth Barry (Villa) - the Villa holding midfielder is having a strong run of form, helping the Villains to 349 consecutive Premiership minutes without conceding a goal.
Didier Drogba or Nicolas Anelka (Chelsea) - the Chelsea hitmen have struggled to find the net since the turn of the year, with Chelsea failing to score in 3 of their last 4 road games.
Outlook: Chelsea are struggling desperately on the road, while Villa have been imperious in front of net over their recent run of Premier League games. Chelsea might gain inspiration from new manager Hiddink, especially if he elects to start Drogba and Anelka together up top. Villa hope to get England international Emile Heskey back to action, further cementing his partnership with young Gabriel Agbonlahor.
Lineup Predictions:
Chelsea: Cech, Bosingwa, Terry, Mancienne, Ferreira, Lampard, Ballack, Mikel, Kalou, Drogba, Anelka
Aston Villa: Friedel, Luke Young, Davies, Knight, Shorey, Ashley Young, Petrov, Barry, Milner, Heskey, Agbonlahor
Deadspin Pub Prediction: Aston Villa 2, Chelsea 0

Here are your top matches of the weekend:

English Premier League
• Chelsea at Aston Villa (Saturday): 4th place at 3rd place - enough said.
• Manchester City at Liverpool (Sunday): Liverpool host the enigmatic Blues in their bid to keep pace with leaders Manchester United.

Spanish Primera
• Espanyol at Barcelona (Saturday): The Barcelona city derby pits the league leaders against the bottom-dwellers. Derbies are always feisty.

Italian Serie A
• Juventus at Palermo (Saturday): Juve striker Amauri returns to his old stadium, La Favorita, for the first time this season.
• Cagliari at AC Milan (Sunday): Beckham should be fit to face the in-form Rossoblu.

French Ligue 1
• Olympique Lyon at AS Nancy Lorraine (Saturday): The league leaders look to widen the gap against mid-table Nancy.
• Paris St. Germain at Grenoble (Saturday): PSG look to keep pace with Lyon with a road victory at Grenoble.

German Bundesliga
• FC Cologne at Bayern Munich (Saturday): "FC Hollywood" have slipped to 4th, but a win at Cologne temporarily sees them atop the league.
• Hertha Berlin at VFL Wolfsburg: The surprise league leaders leave Berlin for the Volkswagen Arena to take on 6th place Wolfsburg.

Bonus: Americans Abroad this Weekend:
• Borussia Mönchengladbach v. Hannover 96: Michael Bradley leads 'Gladbach against Steve Cherundolo's Hannover team. Sal Zizzo is not expected to dress for Hannover.
• Bayern Munich v. FC Cologne: Landon Donovan stands a chance at starting for Munich as Luca Toni is struggling with an achilles injury.
• Aston Villa v. Chelsea: Brad Friedel will start in goal with understudy Brad Guzan on the bench.
• Bolton Wanderers v. West Ham United: Jonathan Spector is expected to be dressed and on the bench for the Hammers.
• Rangers v. Kilmarnock: Demarcus Beasley and Maurice Edu are both coming off strong Scottish Cup showings and could both see signifcant time in this SPL matchup.
• Nice v. Stade Rennes: Carlos Bocanegra anchors the Rennes left-side against mid-table Nice.
• Pachuca v. Ciudad Juarez: Jose Francisco Torres leads league-leaders Pachuca against 5th place Juarez.

Co-Matches of the Day...

EPL - Aston Villa vs. Manchester United at 1:00 pm on FSC
Honestly, what more needs to be said about this match between the third and fifth place squads on the EPL table? Martin O'Neill's club has been superb in recent weeks, and now even Sir Alex Ferguson believes that Villa could wind up qualifying for the Champions League by finishing in one of the coveted spots among the top four. Of course to do that the Scotsman will have to unseat one of the big four, but that hardly seems out of the question at this point in the season. Villa is coming off of a dismantling of Arsenal which has left them tied with the Gunners at 23 points, good enough for a top four spot on the table. Sir Alex's side rests just one point clear of today's challengers, and they'll need a superb effort all over the pitch to ensure a victory over an inspired Villa side.

Serie A- Inter Milan vs. Juventus at 2:30 pm on FSC
A win for Juve would vault them into a tie on points with Inter, however the Milanese side would likely remain atop the table based on goal differential (+3 over Juve going into the match). Of course Inter's rivals will have something to say about that on Sunday seeing as how they currently sit between the two age-old rivals. Jose Mourinho is calling it "another match" although the rest of Italy would probably beg to differ. The biggest question for the former Chelsea boss is whether he'll fit a disgruntled Adriano into the starting 11 for Internazionale. Regardless, the Special One will be looking to gain a huge leg up in the arduous Serie A season with three crucial points on the line. And yes, this is one of those Serie A matches that I'll force myself to watch, no matter how much I hate Inter. Sure college football will be on, but every good household should be equipped with a pair of televisions.

Other televised matches of interest...

EPL - Liverpool vs Fulham at 10:00 am on Setanta
Hey Fulham, you're going to lose, so the least you could do is let Deuce Dempsey play more than 20 minutes. Don't forget, we saved your asses in WWII and we kept you out of relegation last year. And that ends this week's installment of The Entitled American.

EPL - Chelsea vs. Newcastle at 10:00 am on FSC
Just win, baby! Oh, and be sure to humiliate the Magpies if you get a chance. Although I do enjoy their beer.

Bundesilga - Bayern Munich vs Energie Cottbus at 11:30 on GolTV
Don't blink or you'll likely miss a lot of balls traveling at high rates of speed past the Energie keeper. Seriously, how has Lukas Podalski not ruptured a net?

La Liga - Real Madrid vs Recreativo at 2:00 pm on GolTV
Another huge mismatch that should be good for the fan of goal scoring. Real is coming off of a bad loss against Valladolid and they've allowed a combined six goals in their past two victories, so to say Bernd Schuster's could use a positive result would be a gross understatement. Regardless, I'm taking it upon myself to set the number of goals scored by Madrid's Dutch internationals at 2 even without the services of Arjen Robben (stupid doctors).

Ligue 1 - PSG vs Lyon at 3:00 pm on Setanta
The Parisians are on fire so they couldn't possibly ask for a better time to face the dominating league champions from Lyon. The French might not have the money and star power of their European brethren, but this match will show that they still put out an impressive product.

La Liga - Sevilla vs Valencia at 4:00 pm on GolTV
Good God, what an awesome match this is going to be. In all honesty it should be amongst the day's featured matches listed above, but if you miss it it's your own damn fault. Pretty much any televised match from La Liga is worth your time, but when you're talking about two top contenders for the league's top four positions you should expect an epic clash. Earlier I mentioned Inter's Adriano, but the his namesake and fellow Brazilian playing for Sevilla is much more fun to watch.

EPL - Manchester City vs Arsenal at 5:00 pm (tape delay) on Setanta
Tape delay? Fuck you, television!

I'm sorry, I take that back. I love you television, with all my heart. If you love me back you'll show me nothing but glorious goals from Robinho and his fellow Citizens, no matter how hard Bertin and Hirshey pray for the opposite.

Enjoy the games and be sure to follow along in the comments as always.

The Stockpile Of Weapons 'n Ammo's most recent match was their first loss of the season, albeit in the Champions League and not the Premiership, at the hands of Sevilla. So you know Arsenal's gonna play all determined and pissed off today against Aston Villa, who will play determined and will likely piss before the game, so they don't have to pull a Bill Walker during a corner kick.

Kickoff for this game isn't until 12:15 EST, I believe (there are about three different times published out there, not including Wikipedia, who reports the start time is your mom), but I'm still tucking the soccer post all the way at the bottom because some of you scalawags just relish waking up on Saturdays and talking up a storm about that footie.

Aston Villa - Arsenal [Goal.com]