attack - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The allure of near-perfection
I spend a lot of time, admittedly too much time, writing about everything that’s wrong with baseball. I get crankier and more cynical the more my knees hurt. But yesterday was a reminder of one of the things that make baseball special. No other sport can stop for a day to focus on one spot like on ...
Jack Del Rio paints Capitol insurrection as 'dustup' in moronic commentary
Federal investigations into the Washington Commanders’ ownership, revelations of sexual misconduct, and a too-little-too-late name change just didn’t do it for them, I guess. Really, are they under some sort of curse that forces them to humiliate themselves until they, like, carry Zero up the mounta...
Fun police here! You can’t do that Kucherov!
Rules are meant to be broken. That’s the saying, isn’t it? Where there’s a boundary, it must be tested in order to push the limits of the sport you’re playing. That was hockey innovator Roger Neilson’s ideology when he was a professional coach. From 1977 to 2002, Neilson was a menace to NHL official...
Turkey Vulture Flies Through Stephen A. Smith's Office Window In Attempted Bird-On-Bird Violence
The turkey vulture, which lacks the bird voice organ known as a syrinx, is a generally mute bird, with vocalizations limited to grunts and hisses. So maybe it was just professional jealousy that sent one Connecticut turkey vulture hurtling into the ESPN office of Stephen A. Smith, a bird known not j...
Toronto Wins
Ten people were killed and 15 others hospitalized on Monday when a man drove a rented van onto the sidewalk and plowed through pedestrians for more than half a mile on one of Toronto’s busiest streets. It feels almost rote by this point to transition from tragedy to sporting event, but it makes sens...
Spanish Swimmer Sacrifices His Race To Pay Tribute To Barcelona Victims
Spanish swimmer Fernando Alvarez was in Budapest this past weekend for the Masters World Championships, and before he swam in a 200-meter breaststroke heat, he asked swimming’s governing body (FINA) to hold a minute of silence in tribute to the 15 people who were killed last Thursday in a terrorist ...
"Fuck You, I'm Millwall!" Londoner Says He Took On Bridge Attackers After A Few Pints
A soccer fan from London said he tried to stop the attackers on London Bridge on Saturday after drinking, he said, “four or five pints, nothing major.” According to the Guardian, the Millwall fan, Roy Larner, was stabbed in the attack and was taken to the hospital with serious injuries, but is now o...
Chelsea Cancel Victory Parade In Light Of Terrorist Attack In Manchester
Newly crowned Premier League champions Chelsea planned to hold a parade this weekend to celebrate their title, but have decided today to cancel the event due to fears about security following the bombing of Manchester Arena on Monday....
Today's Internet Outage Looks Like A Giant Dong
Internet outages are penetrating the coasts today after hackers orchestrated a DDoS attack on the servers of Dyn, a domain name hosting service. It’s also a huge dick. Nice....
Known Man-Eating Fish Strikes England, Devours Goalkeeping Coach On Pitch
A tragedy was narrowly avoided this weekend when a gigantic, basketball jersey-clad fish, presumably hired as the halftime entertainment for the day’s Derby County-Blackburn match, attacked a poor goalkeeping coach in the middle of its act. Luckily, the man was not seriously harmed....
Surfer Whose Arm Was Bitten Off By A Shark Surfs On The Head Of The World's Supposed Best Surfer
Thirteen years ago, Bethany Hamilton’s left arm was bitten off by a tiger shark while she was surfing on Kauai. Despite losing 60 percent of her blood, she survived, returned to surfing three weeks later, became the subject of a number of movies and books over the years, and appeared on a ton of TV ...
Giants Nearly Lose Stadium To Invading Seagull Force
I don’t want to get too far into it, but I firmly believe that animals will one day rise up and wage war on their human oppressors. When that day comes, the opening salvo may look something like this:...