Australian Cricketer Suspended For Etching A Dick And Balls On Pitch

Australian cricketer Daniel Worrall found himself a little bored during a match last Friday. Suddenly struck by inspiration, he decided to draw the dick and balls you see above onto the pitch, an act of lewdness for which he has now been suspended. Where the hell is your sense of humor, Australian cricket league? » 3/18/14 9:57am 3/18/14 9:57am

7-Year-Old Girl Writes To Scientists Asking Them To Make Her A Dragon

Australia's got its very own pint-sized Khaleesi in 7-year-old Sophie Lester of Queensland, who over Christmas wrote a letter to the national science agency CSIRO asking for a dragon of her own. Both the letter and the agency's response are so cute you're going to feel like passing out. » 1/08/14 6:05pm 1/08/14 6:05pm

Australian Horse Race Interrupted By Sprinklers

As the horses came around for the final stretch of Race 8 at Bathurst Racecourse, a gauntlet of sprinklers screwed everything up. Path To Freedom ended up passing Run Bullet Run and Roman Victory to win the race, and those tickets were honored, but there was good news for losing bettors. All non-winning tickets were… » 11/03/13 11:35am 11/03/13 11:35am

Here Is a 99-Page Guide to One Highly Organized Australian Man's Dick

There once was a ripped, huge-dicked, extremely attentive, highly organized young man from Australia who was frightfully eager to find the woman of his dreams (within a 50 km radius of his home). To that end, he drafted a 99 page guide (to himself, his life, his future wife; his quirks, his tics, his eleven-inch dick;… » 8/01/13 2:10pm 8/01/13 2:10pm

Australian TV Host Storms Off Set Because Of Rugby League

Australia's annual State of Origin rugby league series is apparently about a lot more than lots of punching and naked man-baby streakers—it's also a matter of regional pride. Which is why calling out the validity of a fan's allegiance to either Queensland or New South Wales can lead to straight to a massive hissy fit. » 7/17/13 3:35pm 7/17/13 3:35pm

This MLB-In-Australia Thing Is Really Happening

It was just a glimmering possibility back in October, but it's real now—the Dodgers and Diamondbacks will open the 2014 season next March with a two-game series at Australia's Sydney Cricket Grounds (above). Yes, those Dodgers and Diamondbacks. It'll be the first-ever regular-season game played in Australia, and the… » 6/12/13 1:43pm 6/12/13 1:43pm

Huge Australian Olympic Swim Scandal May Have Consisted Of Team…

Swimming-mad Australia needed someone to blame after their disappointing showing at the London games, and it looks like they've found it. A report commissioned to investigate why the Aussies didn't bring home a single individual gold for the first time since 1976 laid it on a "toxic" team culture that involved bullying,… » 2/22/13 3:30pm 2/22/13 3:30pm

Australian Man Fights Cactus, Cactus Wins

With beer snakes, kangaroo delays, and a giant doping scandal, Australia is rapidly becoming our second-favorite sporting nation. Canada has some more catching up to do after this, a decidedly unsanctioned MMA bout between a shirtless man and an unsuspecting-but-not-defenseless cactus. The real winner is iodine… » 2/18/13 9:35am 2/18/13 9:35am

There Was A Kangaroo Delay At The Australian Open

This fantastic photo was taken on the ninth hole of the LPGA Australian Open at Canberra, as Karrie Webb waited for a troop of kangaroos to clear the fairway. This is the same tournament where a Swedish golfer suffered a Black Widow spider bite while attempting to qualify. Australia, you're terrifying and magical and » 2/14/13 11:25am 2/14/13 11:25am

In Australia, It's Cricket Vs. The Beer Snake

There's a war going on. On one side, Cricket Australia, the sport's national governing body. On the other side, the elusive beer snake, created by fans stacking thousands of cups through the grandstand. One is the wildly popular national sport of Australia. The other is cricket. And when the two clash, only one can… » 2/13/13 10:55am 2/13/13 10:55am

As Rugby Players Turn Boxers, Both Sports Lose

It's been a disappointing week in rugby fights. I mean, this Georgia vs. Belgium dustup is OK. But when I hear "Big Rugby Brawl" I expect a something a little more brutal and/or eye gougey. Maybe this weekend's Vegas Sevens will deliver some handbags. But no rugby fight could match today's Aussie action for weird. Two… » 2/08/13 2:05pm 2/08/13 2:05pm

Australia Is Having A Major Doping Scandal

Oh Australia. We remember when America was innocent and naive like you. There was a time when we too would have been shocked by a lengthy and damning investigation revealing that the use of performance enhancing drugs is "widespread," that PEDs are now "widely available," and that athletes, coaches, and doctors across all… » 2/07/13 10:20am 2/07/13 10:20am