1. Texas eliminated Missouri from the national stage on Saturday. The Horns were up 35-3 at the half and all those Missouri fans who were convinced that Texas might have a figurative hangover after Oklahoma were busy wondering if Chase Daniel was literally hungover. Three weeks ago I anointed Daniel the Heisman Trophy winner. Maybe that was a bit premature. Now everyone knows Colt McCoy is going to win it. Which probably means he won’t. The void in the Heisman race this year is gargantuan.

2. Maryland beat Wake Forest 26-0. If there is a less consistent team in America than Maryland, I haven’t seen them play all year. Lose to UVA by 31 when you’re favored by 14, beat a top 25 Cal team that you’re double digit underdogs to, lose to Middle Tennessee State by 10, and now bounce back from being shutout to shutout the top team in the ACC. There are no words. I’m picturing a bleary-eyed Ralph Friedgen sitting in front of film from this season’s games,Twinkies flying over his shoulder at warp speed, saying over and over again, “If I just watch long enough it will all make sense.” No, it won’t Coach. It never will.

3. With 6:46 remaining in the third quarter Penn State was tied at 17 with Michigan. Nittany Lions fans were starting to wonder if they were going to find a way to lose to the worst Michigan football team in the history of the university and then they scored 29 consecutive points and covered the huge spread. Am I the only person who pictures Joe Pa giving the Russell Crowe Gladiator speech during a television commercial break? Via the sideline phone no less. How much would you pay to hear Joe Pa say, “At my signal, unleash hell.”

(It takes a while but the best single line of moviedom in the past ten years will come up eventually. Damn copyright lawyers ruining clips for the rest of us.)

4. Georgia outlasts Vandy 24-14. This game was ugly. And I know because I was nauseous and attempting to take a nap while watching this game from my car on Saturday afternoon. Earlier I’d spent the day touring the Thomas Wolfe home in Asheville. Don’t ask. But isn’t it amazing how teams can drop off the national radar so fast? Georgia is number 7 in the BCS standings and you’d think they’ve lost three games already. That will probably change beginning this weekend at LSU, but still, how have they disappeared so quickly?

In case you're wondering how the Gators are getting ready for the Cocktail Party, here's a rap about the awesomeness of beards from Gainesville. Every time I want to hate Florida fans, they go and pull off something amazing like this. Work your way through the opening half-minute and wait for the rap to begin. It's truly outstanding. As an added bonus watch for Joakim Noah, Al Horford, and Taurean Green to make cameos. Seriously.

5. On Friday Boise State beat Hawaii 32-7 to get to 6-0. Remember Boise State head coach Chris Petersen? You should. He’s about to become the hottest commodity among young head coaches in the country. Their only win by less than 13 was over Oregon at Oregon. They’re #15 in the country and will be favored to get to 12-0. Can they crash the BCS again? Oklahoma hopes not.

6. Texas Tech is 7-0 and still has played no one. Why can’t my team ever get a starting schedule like this to artificially inflate our expectations? But that’s all about to change. Starting this week Tech goes to Kansas (where they’ve opened as an early underdog), then they get Texas and Oklahoma State at home before a nice road trip to Oklahoma. Christ, is the negative karma from going to law school finally catching up with Mike Leach?

7. LSU proved they can win a big night game on the road. Unfortunately for them, this win means their home game against Georgia will now be an afternoon game for CBS. Somehow Les Miles will find a way to blame Matthew Stafford for this insult to the honor of the Bengal Tigers. Meaning I'm glad I'm not Matthew Stafford.

8. Remember how USC was favored by 43 on the road? Yeah, they covered by 26. 69-0 was the final. Washington State’s really clicking on all cylinders now. Can you imagine being a Washington State fan, putting money on your team, and then having to watch this debacle?

As if that weren't bad enough, word is the entire Washington State dance team fled Pullman to become Mark Sanchez's harem. Only Sanchez dropped them off in Sacramento because they weren't hot enough for LA.

9. Oklahoma's Sam Bradford threw for 468 yards against Kansas. What’s more, the Sooners put up 674 yards of total offense. How is that even possible with the new clock rules? Seriously, 674 yards. You’re thinking, they must have thrown the ball on every play. You’d be wrong. They passed 56 times, but they also ran the ball 44 times. Meaning they managed to run 100 offensive plays. The average team in college football is averaging about 64 this year. How did this happen? Especially because Kansas ran 72 plays themselves. It wasn’t like they turned the ball over on the first play every time. I have no idea how this game featured 172 plays. Anyway, Oklahoma won 45-31.

10. Ohio State eviscerated Michigan State. Meaning it might well be another twenty years before Michigan State gets to go back to the Rose Bowl. But they can still beat Michigan this weekend, right? State fans are kicking dirt clods outside their UP Winnebagos. Right? Meanwhile, Ohio State and Penn State decides the Rose Bowl for the Big Ten before November is even here.

11. UVA upset North Carolina in overtime. What if Al Groh won the ACC this year? Your world is spinning in reverse right now, isn’t it? UVA is now 2-1 in conference and has a chance to take over the Coastal Division lead with a game at Georgia Tech this weekend.

12. The first BCS standings are out. Texas and Alabama are in the top spots. Not for long. I personally guarantee a loss for Alabama this weekend in Knoxville. It’s happening. Write it down and remember who told you first. In fact, wager your life savings on the Alabama favored by 6 line. That worked very well for everyone who took my advice on Texas Tech-Nebraska. As a consolation prize in advance, this lovely Alabama girl has lost her top. Oh my. She must be cold.

OK ... actually, the beer bottle appears to be empty. But how did it get that way, and how many more empties are under the seat?

Video: Babies Drinking Beer At The Ballpark? Always Good Fun [Bugs & Cranks]

Henry fired the first salvo in the case Sept. 20 when he attempted to get a restraining order in Suffolk County Supreme Court to block the NFL from using a urine specimen against him and to stop the league from disclosing the test results.

Court papers filed in the state court action couldn't be reviewed late Thursday, and Henry's attorney Robert Dapelo of Patchogue declined comment. But papers filed by the NFL on Monday in federal court suggested that Henry may have failed the test because the documents stated that Henry was trying to stop the league from testing his specimen and "suspending from his employment with the NFL."

Bronco Talk points out that Henry, if he were that desperate for the ganja, could have just waited a week and then smoked up after his test, which he should have known was coming. Alas. At least he's a little less fertile now; well, if he didn't pick out the seeds, anyway.

Concrete Evidence That Marijuana Kills Brain Cells [BroncoTalk]
Travis Henry May Have Some Difficulty With Those Child Support Payments [Signal To Noise]

But with Baby Madness, well, you're asking for a lifetime of psychiatrist bills.

he brackets are out and James Brown is in the studio ... but the dribbling on this hardwood doesn't involve basketballs. Whether or not you are a hoops fan, Discovery Health's BABY MADNESS is a slam dunk for anyone who enjoys watching babies play and learning about their development. As a celebration of all things baby, BABY MADNESS offers unbeatable entertainment while providing the latest tips on raising a happy, healthy little one.

If you think some of the college freshmen look young on the court, wait until you see our squad — babies age 10 to 30 months — participating in a lively lineup of events including everything from diaper derbies to finger painting.

This is going to be broadcast on the Discovery Health Channel, so now you know whom to boycott. And it's hosted by James Brown, which makes so much sense that we feel bad about not hating him as much as he probably deserved to be hated.

It's Like Puppy Bowl, Except With Babies [Randball]

Ben Affleck has signed on to narrate a quirky new Boston Red Sox DVD aimed at turning young children into die-hard fans. RED SOX BABY: RAISING TOMORROW'S BOSTON RED SOX FAN TODAY is an educational film, which also prepares infants and pre-school children to become Red Sox fans. The sports-centered children's DVD series features Red Sox footage, graphics and merchandise to help teach counting, spelling, shape and colour recognition.

Crawl away, babies! Crawl with all your might! As troubling as all of this is, what they're not telling you is that, for some reason, Steinbrenner's in a Yankees video as well. Poor, poor babies; learning to count from a guy who signed Carl Pavano.

Actually, the baseball movie we'd love to see starring Affleck would be The Steve Bartman Story. Get to work on that, Kevin Smith.

Affleck To Star In Baseball Video For Babies [Contact Music]
Kids' DVD A Homer For Affleck [The Boston Globe]
Affleck Runs Afoul Of Fans [SFGate]

Midwife Barbara Freischuetz from Cologne said: "The women say that the baby is a souvenir from the World Cup. A product of the euphoria from the tournament." Most women who are expecting sons are planning to call them Lukas, Bastian and Michael.

Oh, we get it. Well, it's all fine for fans of Bastian Schweinsteiger, Michael Ballock and Lukas Podoloski, but where's the love for German midfielder Torsten Frings? And will there be a batch of French babies named Zinedine?

Also, all German citizens should be on the lookout for any babies who look like this.

World Cup Baby Boom In Germany [World Cup Blog]