You Like Bacon Because They Told You To

You are a North American, and probably a male, and so you like bacon. Bacon good, you say, making that Tim Allen caveman face: Me like bacon. Me not want to eat unbacon food. Bacon make food better. Me put bacon on burger, in chocolate, around scallop. Me brush teeth with bacon toothpaste. Me make love to wife… »10/06/14 4:53pm10/06/14 4:53pm

Restaurant Removes Bacon Sign, Ignites Culture War

This is it, folks. This just might be it. Your love of bacon will bring you to ruin, our ancestors said, but did we listen? Did we heed? No we did not. And now: Here we are, careening bacon-scented over the precipice of disaster. "My grandfather was alive in 2014," they will say, huddled furtive over a… »8/26/14 3:07pm8/26/14 3:07pm

The Wisconsin State Fair Has One Food-On-A-Stick Too Many

So here's the full list of truncheon-mounted foodstuffs at the Wisconsin State Fair, currently underway in, uh, well, Wisconsin, of course. Actually, no, here's not the full list, because the full list apparently has more entries on it than there are human beings to consume them. Wisconsonianitians sure do love… »8/06/14 4:46pm8/06/14 4:46pm

The Fast-Food Bacon Wars: McDonald's Goes High, Burger King Goes Low

Over the past decade, the American burgersphere has been shaped by three major forces: The first and most odious is the grind-your-own contingent's constant harping about how to flip a fucking hamburger. Having declared victory in their charcoal-fueled war against convenience (gas grills are still more popular among… »4/28/14 2:53pm4/28/14 2:53pm

Sage Kotsenburg Finally Gets His Olympic Medal Made Of Bacon

Winning the first gold medal of the Olympics was both a blessing and a curse for Sage Kotsenburg, America's 20-year-old slopestyle snowboard brogod. It was intense to be honored so early ("The flag is going up. You've got the medal on. And you're just tripping out."). But it was also sort of a bummer to come home and… »2/19/14 8:32am2/19/14 8:32am

If You Don't Like Bacon On Your Hamburger, Then Screw You

Let's talk about hamburgers for moment, because they're delicious. They're big and moist, and when that little mixture of beefy juices and ketchup runoff goes sliding down your hand and you quickly lick it up like a porn star—well now that's quite a moment. And you know what makes a hamburger even better? BACON. Which… »1/06/12 1:00pm1/06/12 1:00pm