The Realests ranks Wannstedt No. 2 on the list of bad coaches, but we think every compelling case puts him at the top. Let's relive, shall we?

• After glomming onto Jimmy Johnson's name as Cowboys defensive coordinator, Wannstedt just missed getting the Steelers job that went to Bill Cowher.

• Hired by the Bears, he was put in charge of personnel decisions, despite never having served as a head coach. He went 41-57 in six years, with one playoff appearance.

• Undaunted, he was hired by the Dolphins to replace Johnson, who had provided him with an outstanding roster that he commenced decimating, most famously drafting two first-round picks for Ricky Williams. He was fired after running the team into a 4-12 hole in 2004.

• With the opportunity to reinvent himself, Pete Carroll-esque, at his alma mater of Pittsburgh, Wannstedt is 13-14 in two-plus years and lost by 20 to Connecticut at home this week.

If Wannstedt were hired by FOX to do TV, he'd follow Johnson around all day, getting him coffee, which he would then spill on Terry Bradshaw.

The Ten Worst Football Coaches [The Realests]

Porras told her to put on her two-piece bathing suit, and led her to a loft where he asked her to sit on an exercise ball. He massaged her neck and shoulders then asked her to roll onto her stomach. He fondled her buttocks beneath her bathing suit. Porras kissed her neck, cheeks and buttocks, and told her that if she had questions about sex, he would answer them. She declined.

The girl told police she "felt uncomfortable, but didn't know what to do." She became alarmed when he ejaculated on her. He told her it was massage oil.

Uh ... yeah, that would probably alarm us too. He has admitted to the charges and, after serving his time, will surely find work as an analyst on ESPN AFL games.

Athletic Massages Just Got Creepy [With Leather]