It has been well established that the Adelman kids do two things well—coach basketball and drive drunk. (And they don't really coach basketball that well.) David was the head coach at Lincoln High in Portland, Oregon, back in February when he was nailed for his second career DUI charge. But on the first day of his trial this week, his lawyer claimed that the only reason police pulled him over that night is because the wealthy father of one of Adelman's players had hired a private investigator to tail Adelman to a bar, wait until he got drunk, then call 911 when he left in his car.

Adelman's lawyer says it was all part of a campaign "to discredit, subvert, harass and ultimately cause the firing of David Adelman." The lawyer for the parent says, "Um ... duh." However, he claims that everyone knew Adelman was a drunk, but that the principal, the school board and the police wouldn't listen. In David's defense, Big Daddy Rick showed up to testify that the parent—Portland financier (a.k.a., "obnoxious rich guy") John Lekas—was a menace who threatened to get his son fired. Rick actually met with Lekas to try and reason with him and later wrote, "I have seen many disgruntled parents over the years, but I have never seen anyone as vindictive as you."

Of course, there's nothing illegal about watching someone get drunk and then calling the cops on them and Adelman was clearly hammered, but his lawyer argues that without the phone call, police had no probable cause to pull him over. The cops even admitted that they did not see the moving violation that allegedly led to the traffic stop. So was Lekas looking out for his boy's roster spot or his personal safety?

"They want to paint this as being all about John Lekas' kid not getting playing time. That's not the issue," [Lekas' lawyer] said. "We have a lot of rich, arrogant people in this case," Layne said, "and they're not all on my client list."

The moral of the story? Never get involved in high school sports, ever. This soap opera is to be continued ....

Private eye hired by parent at center of Lincoln High coach's trial [The Oregonian]

The Realests ranks Wannstedt No. 2 on the list of bad coaches, but we think every compelling case puts him at the top. Let's relive, shall we?

• After glomming onto Jimmy Johnson's name as Cowboys defensive coordinator, Wannstedt just missed getting the Steelers job that went to Bill Cowher.

• Hired by the Bears, he was put in charge of personnel decisions, despite never having served as a head coach. He went 41-57 in six years, with one playoff appearance.

• Undaunted, he was hired by the Dolphins to replace Johnson, who had provided him with an outstanding roster that he commenced decimating, most famously drafting two first-round picks for Ricky Williams. He was fired after running the team into a 4-12 hole in 2004.

• With the opportunity to reinvent himself, Pete Carroll-esque, at his alma mater of Pittsburgh, Wannstedt is 13-14 in two-plus years and lost by 20 to Connecticut at home this week.

If Wannstedt were hired by FOX to do TV, he'd follow Johnson around all day, getting him coffee, which he would then spill on Terry Bradshaw.

The Ten Worst Football Coaches [The Realests]

Porras told her to put on her two-piece bathing suit, and led her to a loft where he asked her to sit on an exercise ball. He massaged her neck and shoulders then asked her to roll onto her stomach. He fondled her buttocks beneath her bathing suit. Porras kissed her neck, cheeks and buttocks, and told her that if she had questions about sex, he would answer them. She declined.

The girl told police she "felt uncomfortable, but didn't know what to do." She became alarmed when he ejaculated on her. He told her it was massage oil.

Uh ... yeah, that would probably alarm us too. He has admitted to the charges and, after serving his time, will surely find work as an analyst on ESPN AFL games.

Athletic Massages Just Got Creepy [With Leather]