Unless you find badminton inherently funny. Which it sort of is. The World Championships are happening in India right now, and everyone was afraid to go because of terrorists. That's not funny either.

Unfortunately, it was either this or another mutton bustin' picture. Our pipeline of amusing visual nonsense has dried up, so you get badminton pictures. You have no one to blame but yourselves. (And me, I guess. I slept in a little.)

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Don't forget—the Deadspin Morning Zoo is on the air right now. All the excitement and glamour of sports talk radio, with none of the professionalism or wacky sound effects. Synchronize your watches now.

Despite his prodigious talent (he's been ranked number 1 since 2004), Lin Dan flamed out and lost in the first round of the 2004 Olympics. Lin Dan also dates Xie, the world's top women's badminton player. And they both played on side-by-side courts Tuesday. The possibilities for a stormy collapse were there.

Instead:

In a 21-16, 21-13 win Tuesday over Hong Kong's Ng Wei, Lin hung in midair like Kobe Bryant and backpedaled faster than a politician after election day. He lobbed and dinked and smashed with exquisite precision, occasionally sending Ng skittering across the court in chase.

Yep, just like Kobe.

China's badminton bad boy has girls swooning [Dallas Morning News]

But all of these answers are wrong, obviously. The most dominant sports dynasty in history is clearly the Miller Place High School, NY, badminton team.

Miller Place has garnered some renown for being the home of the Miller Place Panthers High School badminton team, which has earned recognition in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the longest winning streak in team sports history. "The Streak" began in the spring of 1973 and came to an end on April 12, 2005, when the Panthers were defeated in a match by Smithtown High School, 10-5. The Panthers did not lose a single match over a 32-year span that encompassed 504 consecutive victories.

And the great thing about it is that after the loss, Miller Park began another streak; the Panthers have won 26 straight going into this season. Since 1973, they are 530-1. (Members of that one team destined to have their houses perpetually egged for the next 32 years).

Located on the North shore of Long Island, Miller Place is famous for just one other thing; actor Ralph Macchio went to school there.

Miller Place, New York [Wikipedia]
Miller Place Badminton [Newsday]

*taps foot patiently*

On the day that he was assigned to write that article, I'm guessing that Lester Haines had a pretty good day at work. No less than three cock puns appear in the article, and anytime you can get paid to make cock puns, well, that's a good day.

The gist, if you were too lazy to click the link, is that New Zealand has named their national badminton team the "Black Cocks." Now, they're considering changing it, because the International Badminton Federation doesn't like it. I guess they weren't able to look into the future and predict that any controversy might arise from the term "Black Cocks."

If they think they have problems, they should try doing a Google image search for a picture to use with a post like this.

NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow [The Register]

We're actually impressed they kept the name for a full year. They said the real reason they finally are going to drop the name — and we're not kidding here — is how it would be perceived in China.

"[The Internet Badminton Federation] don't want to see the game lose its composure for the want of a gimmicky name. If you're over in China and you get introduced as the Black Cocks, it raises some issues."

Boy ... don't we know it.

NZ Finds Black Cocks Hard To Swallow [UK Register]

(And yes, we get the headline. Those crazy Brits.)