Guys, relax. It’s just a balloo—
Like stock car races or primary debates, balloon parades are an alleged form of entertainment that's mostly just boring until something goes wrong. Fortunately, with balloon accidents the resulting injuries are primarily psychic in nature—measured in months of therapy for poor Jacob after seeing Pikachu disemboweled…
Dominic James had a nice four-year career for Marquette's men's basketball team from 2005-2009, playing overseas for a bit after graduating. But these days, he's running a balloon business with his wife. It's quite the career change.
The start of the Broncos home-and-season opener against the Ravens on Thursday was delayed because of thunderstorms in the area. The weather did not delay the orange balloon release Denver apparently does before big games and resulted in some band's next album cover.
I took my three-year-old to see Up the other day. We left after an hour because she didn't want to stick around (Thanks for burning my money, kid). But that hardly mattered.
So, do you remember that time when you did one too many hits off the gravity bong and you decided to a walk outside to get some fresh air, but then you bugged out and ran back inside because you thought you saw a priest being carried away by a bunch of helium party balloons?