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New York, 11:24 AM
Mon Dec 7
15 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #balloons more →

    Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch

    Brazil's Ballooning Death Count
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of drewheyman drewheyman
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    The second half of UP really sucked. Hey old men and fat kids suck, so let's make these two into ninjas instead and add a bunch of talking dogs so the story will be more interesting.
     Reply
    drewheyman was starred drewheyman was unstarred
    Image of Sir Hotbod Handsomeface Sir Hotbod Handsomeface
    07/13/09

    @drewheyman: dammit - use spoiler tags!
     Reply
    Sir Hotbod Handsomeface was starred Sir Hotbod Handsomeface was unstarred
    Image of Slothrop Slothrop
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    Brad Bird's entries thankfully excepted

    While true of his Pixar movies, The Iron Giant leaves me a sobbing mess of snot.
     Reply
    Slothrop was starred Slothrop was unstarred
    Image of Storming the Floor Storming the Floor
    07/18/09

    @Slothrop: Yeah, my son has vowed never to watch Iron Giant again. He was destroyed for hours after that movie ended. Only ice cream revived him.

    Heyyyy, waitaminute. I've been had!
     Reply
    Storming the Floor was starred Storming the Floor was unstarred
    Image of HockeyMountain HockeyMountain
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    /eats gallon of Cherry Garcia, grows vagina



    And that's just pot kids. I don't even want to know what happens to my body after a pint of Theo Oreo McFleury
     Reply
    Edited by HockeyMountain at 07/13/09 1:57 PM HockeyMountain was starred HockeyMountain was unstarred
    Image of Stev D Stev D
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    I lose it when that first mouthful of Remy's ratatouille hits the grim food critic like a punch, and we see the simple, loving exchange of food from mother to child.





    /Oh god! I need to fight someone!
     Reply
    Stev D was starred Stev D was unstarred
    Image of Gourmet Spud Gourmet Spud
    07/13/09

    @Stev D:



    Give it up, Stev. Everyone here knows you work for Gerber's.
     Reply
    Gourmet Spud was starred Gourmet Spud was unstarred
    Image of TracyHamandEggs TracyHamandEggs
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    Try going to one of those movies WITHOUT kids. Then you are a weepy pedophile.
     Reply
    TracyHamandEggs was starred TracyHamandEggs was unstarred
    Image of Jen P Jen P
    07/13/09

    @TracyHamandEggs: I went with my husband and ended up sitting next to a 4-year-old who kept turning to his mom and loudly whispering, "Why is this lady crying?" She told him to shut up because she was crying, too.
     Reply
    Jen P was starred Jen P was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    Something tells me Nazi shark also does not approve of lesbian Ellen DeGenerous voicing fish. But it kind of makes sense since she enjoys eating it.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of Ol' Leather Pumpkin Ol' Leather Pumpkin
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    you forgot to mention the part in Wall-E when Eve is watching the video replay of Wall-E devoting himself to her existence. it taught me how to love again. and to limit my girlfriend's access to my netflix account.
     Reply
    Ol' Leather Pumpkin was starred Ol' Leather Pumpkin was unstarred
    Image of Gourmet Spud Gourmet Spud
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    Their movies are so sad, I even cry during the porn knock-offs.



    Sniff. God damn you, Grinding Nemo.
     Reply
    Gourmet Spud was starred Gourmet Spud was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: Or the gay versions, like Monster's Twink
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of Civil Negligence Civil Negligence
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: You think they would have had the decency and common sense to alter the title of Beauty and the Beast. My nephew will never be the same...
     Reply
    Civil Negligence was starred Civil Negligence was unstarred
    Image of SomewhereOverDwayneBowe SomewhereOverDwayneBowe
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: I used a whole box of tissues when I watched Ratascrewie. I also cried a little.
     Reply
    SomewhereOverDwayneBowe was starred SomewhereOverDwayneBowe was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: Was that your brother I saw in Boi Story?
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: The possibilities are endless for a XXX Toy Story knock-off.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of BigRicks BigRicks
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: They shot The Lyin' King entirely in the grasslands of Africa. Let's just say my girlfriend remains less than impressed with my little Simba.
     Reply
    BigRicks was starred BigRicks was unstarred
    Image of Weed Against Speed Weed Against Speed
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: A piece of advice, don't rent Kung Poo Panda.
     Reply
    Weed Against Speed was starred Weed Against Speed was unstarred
    Image of Sir Hotbod Handsomeface Sir Hotbod Handsomeface
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: I'm still a sucker for the classics like Rambi and Pet'er Can
     Reply
    Sir Hotbod Handsomeface was starred Sir Hotbod Handsomeface was unstarred
    Image of sir_pantsalot sir_pantsalot
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: I have never been able to change in a locker room since watching Pete's Draggin
     Reply
    Edited by sir_pantsalot at 07/13/09 2:23 PM sir_pantsalot was starred sir_pantsalot was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    So, when you become a parent you can't kill your emotions with hard liquor any more?
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of shea_guevara shea_guevara
    07/13/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: i don't know if you can, but i aims to find out!



    /wackity-shmackity-doooo
     Reply
    shea_guevara was starred shea_guevara was unstarred
    Image of Mick Mick
    07/13/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: The law considers that neglecting of your parental responsibilities. I call it being there for your kids in physical form only.
     Reply
    Mick was starred Mick was unstarred
    Image of Storming the Floor Storming the Floor
    07/18/09

    @Bobby Big Wheel: Yes, but you have to wait until after you put them in bed to start drinking, and they're smart enough to realize you're emotionally vulnerable in the meantime. You'll find yourself buying a set of whirlicopters and buckets of magic sand from the Teevee, just to make sure they know you love them.
     Reply
    Storming the Floor was starred Storming the Floor was unstarred
    Image of Matt Sussman Matt Sussman
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    That's why, when I have children, I'm gonna have them watch nothing but bondage porno, so he and I will have similar interests.
     Reply
    Matt Sussman was starred Matt Sussman was unstarred
    Image of Hatey McLife Hatey McLife
    07/13/09

    @Matt Sussman: I blame Old Yeller for cultivating by insatiable thirst for bestiality snuff films.
     Reply
    Hatey McLife was starred Hatey McLife was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    Supposedly, the plot of Toy Story 3 is Woody dealing with testicular cancer, and his chemo schedule causes him to miss lunch with Buzz, and then Buzz dies in a crash, and it's revealed that Buzz was going to donate one of his testicles to Woody to save his life, but the testicles were too damaged in the crash, so Woody dies too.
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of Gourmet Spud Gourmet Spud
    07/13/09

    @ScientificMapp:



    BUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THE POTATO!?!
     Reply
    Gourmet Spud was starred Gourmet Spud was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    07/13/09

    @Gourmet Spud: That's the worst part. He has to live a long agonizing life married to George Costanza's mother.
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of BerttFrvae'sDyxelsia aka Orr's Crabapples BerttFrvae'sDyxelsia aka Orr's Crabapples
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    STOP MAKING ME WANT TO HOLD MY KIDS TIGHT AND TELL THEM HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM



    This won't even come close to healing the emotional wounds you'll inflict each Vikings' offensive possession.
     Reply
    BerttFrvae'sDyxelsia aka Orr's Crabapples was starred BerttFrvae'sDyxelsia aka Orr's Crabapples was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    07/13/09

    @Orr's crabapples: I get the feeling that if it wasn't for Adrian Peterson, Drew might be in prison. or a hospital. or a hospital prison.
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    Also, don't forget that Nemo's mom dies about 10 minutes into the movie



    /my kid has also forcied me to watch "Finding Nemo" 90 fucking times.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of shea_guevara shea_guevara
    07/13/09

    @UpstateUnderdog: is there any kids movie where the mom or dad (or both) don't die?
     Reply
    shea_guevara was starred shea_guevara was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    I'm taking my kid to that fucking Ice Age movie. It'll suck.



    Yoni Brenner weeps. Not because of this, of course, but because all Bills fans cry sometimes.
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    07/13/09

    In reply to Dear Pixar: Stop Making Me Cry Like A Bitch
    Bringing a 3 year old to the movies is never a good idea, been there done that.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
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