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New York, 10:12 AM
Sat Dec 5
14 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Clarence Rosario Clarence Rosario
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    What happens if, as a husband, you are actually more like the wife in these scenarios?
     Reply
    Clarence Rosario was starred Clarence Rosario was unstarred
    Image of Mr. Praline Mr. Praline
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    The missus and I don't ever fight. Ever. It's weird that way, and it's probably because we were really good friends before becoming involved.

    ...But it might also be because Mrs. Praline is a psychiatrist.
     Reply
    Mr. Praline was starred Mr. Praline was unstarred
    Image of SavetoFavorites SavetoFavorites
    12/04/09

    @Mr. Praline: As an android, do you ever have problems conceptualizing "love," or are context clues from media and humans around you enough to help you get the gist of it?
     Reply
    Mr. Praline promoted this comment SavetoFavorites was starred SavetoFavorites was unstarred
    Image of Mr. Praline Mr. Praline
    12/04/09

    @SavetoFavorites: Mr. Praline is currently experiencing the so-called Blush Response, as well as fluctuation of the pupil and involuntary dilation of the iris.

    ...you bastard.
     Reply
    Mr. Praline was starred Mr. Praline was unstarred
    Image of TheStarterWife TheStarterWife
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    In defense of wives, sometimes we ARE annoyed you're not proactive enough because your lack of pro-activity holds us up from the fun time you seem to be having.

    Last night I was making potato leek soup for dinner. I just had finished peeling the potatoes, went over to the trash to throw away the skins, and husband yells excitedly from the living room, "Hey, you have to see this!" about something stupid in the Oregon-Oregon State game. Well guess what, I cannot come right out because the effing trash is full and I have handfuls of sopping wet potato peels in my hands! Wish I could come right out and have fun, but someone has to deal with this mess. If you would have emptied the trash earlier, I could have dumped the peels and seen the play DAMMIT MAKE YOUR OWN DINNER.

    (In husband's defense, he realized by the tone of "MY HANDS ARE FULL" he needed to pause the game and take out the trash.)
     Reply
    TheStarterWife was starred TheStarterWife was unstarred
    Image of I Like Cheap Beer I Like Cheap Beer
    12/04/09

    @TheStarterWife: So you didn't start making soup for your husband until after the game started at 9PM???
    Bad wife!

    / Ducks meat clever thrown at head
     Reply
    TheStarterWife promoted this comment I Like Cheap Beer was starred I Like Cheap Beer was unstarred
    Image of TheStarterWife TheStarterWife
    12/04/09

    @I Like Cheap Beer: Live in the PST.
     Reply
    TheStarterWife was starred TheStarterWife was unstarred
    Image of VegasWasteland VegasWasteland
    12/04/09

    @TheStarterWife: Aah, there is your mistake. Who acutally cooks food on Thursday to Sunday when the game (any game) is on? That is what Chinese takeout and the frozen dinner-in-a-bag is good for.

    /takes out garbage and shuts up...
     Reply
    TheStarterWife promoted this comment Edited by VegasWasteland at 12/04/09 3:30 PM VegasWasteland was starred VegasWasteland was unstarred
    Image of TheStarterWife TheStarterWife
    12/04/09

    @jodark: Old building, old pipes, cannot have a disposal.

    @Barb-A-Rod: What world is this? 6pm means still at the office.

    @VegasWasteland: Would like to live past 45. (Plus, I write about cooking for football, so there is that.)
     Reply
    TheStarterWife was starred TheStarterWife was unstarred
    Image of VegasWasteland VegasWasteland
    12/04/09

    @TheStarterWife: I look at it preparing for the future.

    You know, just long-term self-embalming? Mmm preservatives!

    /Panda Express'd
     Reply
    VegasWasteland was starred VegasWasteland was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    My recommendation guys is to go back to school. Its a built in excuse for always needing to be doing something besides housework....
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of Dany Heatley Speedwagon Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    12/04/09

    @Hustler of Culture: For a guy currently working on his accounting designation I must say I'd rather take out the trash.

    /kill me
     Reply
    Dany Heatley Speedwagon was starred Dany Heatley Speedwagon was unstarred
    Image of Silent Q Silent Q
    12/04/09

    @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Word. Give me the trash any time.

    /up before dawn every day to study for CPA exam before work
     Reply
    Silent Q was starred Silent Q was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    12/04/09

    @Silent Q: @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: See, your mistake was getting your CPA. I am getting my MBA, while not easy by any stretch, it is not quite as mind-numbing....
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    Also, men, surround yourself with friends that hunt, fish, and golf all time and are never home. You can use it to throw in your wife's face when she starts bitching.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of WhatWouldTebowDo? WhatWouldTebowDo?
    12/04/09

    @UpstateUnderdog: Dammit, Upstate, not all of us can be buddies with George W. Bush.
     Reply
    TheStarterWife promoted this comment WhatWouldTebowDo? was starred WhatWouldTebowDo? was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    Re: buying STAMPs -

    If Mrs. HoC didn't have stamps, I would never, EVER actually mail anything. I would just be incapable of it...
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of Dany Heatley Speedwagon Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    12/04/09

    @Hustler of Culture: What the fuck do you even need stamps for? The last thing I mailed was wedding invitations so since we've been married that would be zero things. You've heard of online bill payments?
     Reply
    Dany Heatley Speedwagon was starred Dany Heatley Speedwagon was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    12/04/09

    @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Every like 4-5 months there is something I need to mail. I am with you on autopayments, a single book of checks will last me years and years...
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    Best time to take out the garbage is when the kids are acting up, gives me 45 seconds of peace and quiet.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of Chamomiles Davis Chamomiles Davis
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    Dear Drew,

    Please get out of my head.

    Sincerely,

    Chamomiles Davis
     Reply
    Chamomiles Davis was starred Chamomiles Davis was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    12/04/09

    @Chamomiles Davis:

    and Phintastic.
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of Dany Heatley Speedwagon Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    Garbage and recycling are my domain. I do them every week, I sort, I bag, I take it all to the garage. It gets done and never a compliment but also never a complaint so I'm cool. HOWEVER when the wifey is home alone and has to take something outside to the blue bin does she sort it at all? FUCK NO. She will take a box from whatever and it's still filled with styrofoam and packing plastic and all that shit and the box isn't broken down and she'll just throw it in the blue box. I go out to sort for garbage in the freezing cold the night before and what the fuck do I find but a box full of fucking shit taking up all the space in the goddamned blue bin and I have to spend 5 minutes freezing my balls off to break it up and shit. EVERY FUCKING TIME SHE DOES IT I tell her politely you can't do that. Does she listen... no.But I get the proactive fucking speech all the time. Guess what, preparing the trash before it goes to the curb is being motherfucking proactive!
     Reply
    Edited by Dany Heatley Speedwagon at 12/04/09 2:44 PM Dany Heatley Speedwagon was starred Dany Heatley Speedwagon was unstarred
    Image of sir_pantsalot sir_pantsalot
    12/04/09

    @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: It makes me want to shake a bitch when there is a large box taking up all of the space in the trash bin. When I open it there is nothing but air inside. I take the trash out but it seems that everytime I am out of town or something she finds a large box to throw away.
     Reply
    sir_pantsalot was starred sir_pantsalot was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    WIFE: I shouldn't have to ask you to take out the trash.

    YOU: But then how would I know it's full?

    That sums up a lot of how my brain works right there. Poor Mrs. HoC...
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    Here is a pointer for the ladies. Leave something heavy by the garage door, walk past it with your male friend and see if he picks it up and carries it in for you without you having to ask. It should be something obvious like a 40 lb. bag of dog food. If he walks past it like he never saw it, he will always do that. If he walks past it with you and carries it into the kitchen without you having to ask, you have a chance of not having to become a nag.

    The real issue here is that when we ask you to do things and then you call us a nag. If you weren't a fucking 5 year old that had to be told that the garbage needs to go out then we wouldn't have to nag you. See how that works?

    Yeah, I am fired up today.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of Ken Gryphon Jr. Ken Gryphon Jr.
    12/04/09

    @J-No: If you weren't a fucking 5 year old...

    We ARE male...one and the same thing, dear.
     Reply
    J-No promoted this comment Ken Gryphon Jr. was starred Ken Gryphon Jr. was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    12/04/09

    @J-No: Probably just knowing that they are who they are and accepting it is the healthiest approach in these situations. Don't ever think they are going to change. Take them as they come or don't get married. You will drive yourself insane.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac
    12/04/09

    @J-No: had to be told that the garbage needs to go out then we wouldn't have to nag you.

    My response: Is your tongue the only muscle in your body that properly functions?
     Reply
    dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac was starred dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac was unstarred
    Image of Chamomiles Davis Chamomiles Davis
    12/04/09

    @J-No: By the same standard, if my wife and I walk by a corset, G-string and stiletto pumps, and she doesn't start changing into them right then and there... NOW who isn't being proactive?
     Reply
    Chamomiles Davis was starred Chamomiles Davis was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    12/04/09

    @Devi: Do you own a home? It will change when it is your own home. Or you will live in swill. Either one.

    @Ken Gryphon Jr.: As long as they keep saying nice things to you or surprise you with a thoughtful gift once in a while, they can get away with a lot. The thoughtful gift does not mean diamonds or other expensive shit. It can be a book that was mentioned on a show you were watching together, it can be small things, but for women it is the thought that counts.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    12/04/09

    @dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: If I am cleaning the toilets, the shower, doing the laundry, and doing the shopping (including buying all the gifts for your family functions and holidays) you can take out the trash. Plain and simple.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac
    12/04/09

    @J-No: My household situation is a little more fluid than that. That's all.

    While I celebrate misogyny for the most part, our deal is: whoever's available at the time the chore needs to be done, does the chore.
     Reply
    dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac was starred dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    12/04/09

    @dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Fair enough. And if women stop giving BJs with gusto and enthusiasm after marriage they deserve to be cheated on or left. If they did that more often you night be a happier guy and take out the trash without being asked.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac
    12/04/09

    @J-No: you're referring to the universal you, right? I am a happy guy and, if I'm the first to notice the garbage needs to be taken out, I take it out.

    Thats what I never got about girls: You have four girls living in a place and everything in the fridge is labeled with initials. Four guys- its just shit in the fridge.

    It should be the same with chores.
     Reply
    Edited by dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac at 12/04/09 4:33 PM dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac was starred dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac was unstarred
    Image of DirkToberFest DirkToberFest
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    Guess my hilarious picture won't upload. Sorry folks!
     Reply
    Edited by DirkToberFest at 12/04/09 2:35 PM DirkToberFest was starred DirkToberFest was unstarred
    Image of the earl of weaver the earl of weaver
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    MikeSmrek shouldn't have had to remind you to include this on your list! YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN!
     Reply
    the earl of weaver was starred the earl of weaver was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    12/04/09

    In reply to Of Matters Concerning Mandatory Husband ESP
    "I shouldn't have to ask you."

    You married Kobe Bryant?
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of P. Escobar, Jets Fan P. Escobar, Jets Fan
    12/03/09

    In reply to LOOK AT MY STRIPED SHIRT! Jamboroo, Week 13
    I guess you missed the fact that Brian De Palma was guest directing SportsCenter.

    Next week: David Lynch, and the Not Top 10 will be spoken backwards by a midget in a red velvet suit.
     Reply
    P. Escobar, Jets Fan was starred P. Escobar, Jets Fan was unstarred
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