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New York, 3:20 AM
Wed Dec 2
20 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Kid Canada Kid Canada
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    I've seen a vanity plate on the streets of Toronto on a Porsche or Ferrari or some such that said CAR2NV. At least if you're going to drive a pretentious car, own up to it?
     Reply
    Kid Canada was starred Kid Canada was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    If you're a gay couple, shouldn't you share pitching duties?

    If you're a couple, sure. If you are out at a club, all juiced up on Meth, you will certainly have your particular predilection, no?
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    I feel like tacos tonight, tacos tonight....
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    I was caught by my college roommate's girlfriend while jacking it to The Price Is Right.

    And don't forget to help control the blog population, have your blogger spayed or neutered!
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    Better than Taco Night? Being a teacher and discovering Taco Day in the cafeteria. Especially if it's random, none of this "Taco Tuesdays" bullshit. Taco Night you know is coming all week. You plan for it. Taco day is stumbling out of third period with a splitting headache because none of the kids know when the War of 1812 was fought...you're expecting mystery meat or Beef Jerkenoff and yet...you get.....

    Taco Day.
     Reply
    Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan was starred Doug Dascenzo's Only Fan was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    Oh yeah, tonight is taco night at the HoC household. And I cook everything including making the quac myself.

    And now I will think of nothing but this until the day is done...
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of CaptainHomeless CaptainHomeless
    12/01/09

    @Hustler of Culture: is quac some kind of duck-based filling?

    /shows self out
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture promoted this comment CaptainHomeless was starred CaptainHomeless was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    12/01/09

    @CaptainHomeless: I probably shouldn't admit how much I laughed at that...
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    Re standing up to wipe: Always done it this way and never thought twice about it. I'm 6'5" though, and it's mostly a matter of necessity - there's not exactly a lot of space in the stall to work with, so unless I want to hit both walls and the door with different body parts every time I bend over, it's the only way to go.

    The problem is the damn auto-flushing toilets they have in my office that clearly were not programmed for standers. Half the time the fucker flushes as soon as I stand up, so by the time I throw the used toilet paper in, all the crap has been flushed. Now there's a bowl of shit-stained paper floating, and as to not be the asshole who leaves a surprise for the next guy I have to simulate sitting down and standing back up again to trigger the goddamn mechanism. Seriously, I know we're all about convenience and shit, but I can manage to flush my own fucking toilets. Go fuck yourself, auto-flush.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Theodore Donald Kerabatsos Theodore Donald Kerabatsos
    12/01/09

    @ClintonPortishead: Thirty years of stand-up wiping and it took this mailbag for me to realize that people even do it another way. Stand up is the way to go, though. Sitting means you have to stick your hand down in the precarious position between your shitty ass and the shit-filled bowl. No thanks.

    BTW, you can usually find a little ninja button hidden somewhere on the auto-flusher to get rid of your shit paper.
     Reply
    Theodore Donald Kerabatsos was starred Theodore Donald Kerabatsos was unstarred
    Image of Silent Q Silent Q
    12/01/09

    @ClintonPortishead: I, too, have felt the cold sting of the auto-flush toilet. My first day at my current office, I finish up a post-lunch consitutional. I stand up, no flush. Sit back down, stand up again. Nothing. Sensor's broken. I have abandon ship and get the hell out of this bathroom as quickly as possible. As I'm washing up, a coworker I haven't met yet walks in, heads for the stall, yells "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN HERE?", turns around and walks right out.

    Turns out, the guy's my boss's boss. To this day, six years later, the guy still looks at me funny when I cross his path. I'm convinced that my career is ruined at this place because of a goddamn auto-flush toilet. FUCK YOU, AUTO TOILET.
     Reply
    Edited by Silent Q at 12/01/09 4:34 PM Silent Q was starred Silent Q was unstarred
    Image of EditorOfTheDailyFaberian EditorOfTheDailyFaberian
    12/01/09

    @ClintonPortishead: I'm 6'5" though

    Has anyone else ever noticed the average height on the internet is 6'3"
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead promoted this comment EditorOfTheDailyFaberian was starred EditorOfTheDailyFaberian was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    12/01/09

    @EditorOfTheDailyFaberian: 6'3"? Maybe my cock.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Chris Hanson's Axe Chris Hanson's Axe
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    Adam Ferrara has a great bit about midnight pissing. He called it "going by sonar."
     Reply
    Chris Hanson's Axe was starred Chris Hanson's Axe was unstarred
    Image of the earl of weaver the earl of weaver
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    I don't think Colombian Boy was trying to get on your Mailbag so much as your male bag.
     Reply
    the earl of weaver was starred the earl of weaver was unstarred
    Image of twoeightnine twoeightnine
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    $.25 a blade.
     Reply
    twoeightnine was starred twoeightnine was unstarred
    Image of Civil Negligence Civil Negligence
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    Best feeling in the world when someone covers you with a blanket as you're dozing off.

    So you're a cub?
     Reply
    Civil Negligence was starred Civil Negligence was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    I saw a vanity plate on a Prius that read "50 MPG". Smug fucking hippie douche.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of ohmygodtheykilledkennyrogers ohmygodtheykilledkennyrogers
    12/01/09

    @UpstateUnderdog: I saw "BAABAA" on a black Jeep. Nobody else thought it was clever.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog promoted this comment ohmygodtheykilledkennyrogers was starred ohmygodtheykilledkennyrogers was unstarred
    Image of phillas phillas
    12/01/09

    @UpstateUnderdog: what the fuck did you want me to put on my plate, SMUG1?
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog promoted this comment phillas was starred phillas was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    12/01/09

    @phillas: that or FRTSNIFR
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of Jefferson Tardship Jefferson Tardship
    12/01/09

    @UpstateUnderdog: Prius vanity plates are a dime a dozen in California. Every time I see one, I inch closer to Republicanism.
     Reply
    Jefferson Tardship was starred Jefferson Tardship was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    12/01/09

    @Jefferson Tardship: Last year I saw a McCain sticker on a Prius in Ithaca, NY. If you've ever been to Ithaca, this was like seeing Santa Claus riding a unicorn.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of phillas phillas
    12/01/09

    @UpstateUnderdog: More like GUNTSNIFR, amirite?
     Reply
    phillas was starred phillas was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    Bob Ley has a personalized license plate that reads DNP-CD.

    Craig Kilborn's career has a license plate that reads "DNR".

    /do not resuscitate
    //jokes are funnier when they're explained
    ///sorry about the "/" thing
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of Sarcastro Sarcastro
    12/01/09

    @ScientificMapp: Have a friend who's a trauma nurse. Her plate: DNR-DNI.
     Reply
    Sarcastro was starred Sarcastro was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    I lived in Virginia for 3 years, where it's only 10 dollars for a vanity plate, so I saw some good ones. My favorite was VNTY PLT.

    Oh, and screw you, Bob Ley, for stealing my fraternity nickname.
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of ClueHeywood ClueHeywood
    12/01/09

    In reply to Mailbag: TACO NIGHT!
    Taco night? Do you live at a summer camp?
     Reply
    ClueHeywood was starred ClueHeywood was unstarred
    Image of Aestro17 Aestro17
    12/01/09

    @ClueHeywood: Sounds like SOMEONE'S still a bachelor.
     Reply
    ClueHeywood approved this comment Aestro17 was starred Aestro17 was unstarred
    Image of ClueHeywood ClueHeywood
    12/01/09

    @Aestro17: I am. Which means any (or every) night can be taco night.
     Reply
    ClueHeywood was starred ClueHeywood was unstarred
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