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Nolito Is Probably Going To Barcelona, And That's A Shame

On one level, it’s hard not to be happy for Nolito, who is probably packing his bags right now, giddy with anticipation about sending crosses Luis Suárez’s way and running onto through balls from Lionel Messi, as reports have him very close to a transfer to Barcelona. Here is a guy who was never marked for stardom…

Best-Named Soccer Player In The World Scores A Game-Winner For Atlético Madrid

This is Thomas Partey, aka Party Tom, aka Tomás de la Fiesta. He’s a 22-year-old Ghanaian holding midfielder for Atlético Madrid who’s seen a lot of playing time lately since Tiago Mendes broke his leg in November. He also has the best name in La Liga and probably the world, unless you’re more partial to Isaac Success.

How On Earth Did Neymar Pull Off This Spinning Backheel Assist?

Technically this little flick didn’t quite come off the way Neymar intended, but he definitely meant for that ridiculous touch to redirect into Luis Suárez’s path, and holy shit, can you imagine having such otherworldly talent that even when your unbelievably audacious moves don’t work exactly right, they still end up…

Barcelona Cut New Player For Anti-Barça Tweets—Hours After Signing Him [Update]

The three young gents you see in the photo above are Sergi Guardiola, Moisés, and Xemi, all new Barcelona players whose signings were announced just a few hours ago. They were supposed to shore up the reserve team. “Supposed to” is the operative phrase there, since Guardiola—no relation to Pep—has already been dropped…

Lionel Messi And Marvin Plattenhardt Score Identical Free Kick Goals

Leo Messi hitting geometrically ambitious free kicks is about as unsurprising of a sporting development as Boogie Cousins getting fed up and pouting. And yet, this geometrically ambitious free kick was spectacular and deserves to be brought up and seen. Messi is so good that this has commonplace, and like with most…

It's Barcelona's And Bayern Munich's World, Everyone Else Is Just Living In It

This weekend, Barcelona entered the stadium of the biggest club in the world and took on its starting lineup with a higher collective Q-Score than the cast of Ocean’s Eleven. The injury-stricken culés were missing their own brightest superstar and in his place featured a player who’s probably sold a grand total of 16…

Sergi Roberto's Stunning Emergence Proves Barcelona Are Firing On All Cylinders

Of everything that happened in this Clásico—a half-strength Barcelona waltzing into the Bernabéu and not only beating a full-strength Real Madrid team that desperately needed a win, but pummeling them in gloriously humiliating fashion; the notoriously careful Rafa Benítez basically being pressured by his president…

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Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't The Greatest Player Alive, And That's Insane

Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo won Europe’s Golden Shoe yesterday, which recognizes the top scorer across the continent’s top leagues. It’s the fourth time he’s won the award, and it comes after last season, when he scored 48 goals in 35 La Liga games. No one else in the history of the award has won it four times.…