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Luis Suárez Is Biting People Again
Liverpool striker Luis Suárez, who earned a seven-match ban in 2010 for biting an opponent, is back to his Tysonesque tactics again as he appeared to go OM NOM NOM on Branislav Ivanović during today's match against Chelsea at Anfield....

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Man City striker Mario Balotelli finally scored his first league goal this week against Wigan, and the wacky Clown Prince of the EPL decided to celebrate with a new tattoo. This alone wouldn't be noteworthy, except that the tattoo is on his chest and reads:...

Reconstructing The Most Exciting Day In The History Of Soccer (And Maybe Sports, Period)
The final day of the 2011 MLB regular season enchanted us with its insanity; its events became a video game montage and inspired its own tag here on Deadspin. That day, however, only determined which teams would gain entry to the playoffs. By comparison, Sunday's final day of the English Premier ...

Emile Heskey's Elbow Thoroughly Mangled Johan Djourou's Nose
Today's Arsenal-Aston Villa match from Ashburton Grove got off to a violent start as Gunners defender Johan Djourou took Emile Heskey's elbow straight to the beak—though Djourou was as much responsible for propelling his face into Heskey as much as anything. Despite spending several minutes down o...

English Football (The Real Kind)
Liverpool took an early lead within the friendly confines of Anfield but they couldn't hold off red-hot Arsenal for the full 90 minutes. Liverpool took a quick lead courtesy of a low rocket delivered by Steven Gerrard on a fixed piece in the sixth minute. From there the defense took root in an attem...

We're Back, Baby!
Jose Mourinho was the Special One, but Didier Drogba is like Jesus Christ Superstar. My personal savior netted two goals en route to a 6-0 (SIX!) curbing of an exposed Man City squad. Sven hasn't been crapped on like that in months! Finally the top four is rounding back into form, especially after L...