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Baron Davis
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NBA
NBA Free Agency 2008
The Baron Of Clipperland
Baron Davis will do anything for love, but he won't do that. And by "that" I mean "be low-balled by the Golden State Warriors." Even if it means jumping ship and joining his hometown Clippers.
Your bionic eyes are not malfunctioning. You read that correctly.
Although it can't become official until July 9th - the first day NBA teams can officially complete free-agent deals and trades after the league-wide moratorium on roster moves is lifted — Boom-Dizzle and his mighty beard are headed for Clipperland.
Said Davis: "It's tough, but you have to do what's best, You have to do what's fair. I'm happy with where I'm going. A big reason is because of the impact and the things that I can do going forward. I knew I could have done them here and created all kinds of good things and positive things in the community, and ultimately, me going home helps me make an impact on young kids."
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Baron davis wants to be ... a Knick?
Warriors To Be Decidedly Less Whiskery In 2009
OK, it's not a lock that Baron Davis is leaving the Warriors. But by opting out of the final year of his contract — leaving $17.8 million on the table in the process — it's pretty clear that there was more to that dustup with Don Nelson in the Phoenix game than we were told. But while that may be true, a certain ESPN Cheese Doodle-loving personality says he knows a different reason for Davis wanting to leave. It's because ... he wants to be a New York Knick? What? More »
can't... look... away...
Baron Davis Was Born To Roller Skate
Twenty two years ago, the Los Angeles Dodgers made a music video that could probably make Skip Bayless speechless. While my knowledge of what was hip back in 1986 might've escaped me — at the time, the more pressing question was why running into solid walls hurt my forehead — I can't imagine Orel Hershiser wearing a satin jacket was actually cool back then. More »
cultural oddsmaker
Who's The Next Old, White Lady To Get Humped by a Black NBA Player?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think.
The cougar movement is one that, in the last few years, has blossomed into a full-on cultural phenomenon. Not unlike MILF before it, Cougardom has become part of the conversational lexicon, spanning both age and race. Strangely enough, many older women are embracing this term, thinking that that being a "cougar" makes them automatically attractive to younger men. Sometimes that is the case. Sometimes ... not so much. (Side note # 1: Mr. Mamula used the term "Cougar Swarm" in an anecdote on Monday, which seems like an excellent name for a roller derby team or a top secret military group composed of 40-year-old female acrobats.)
Now Cougardom has hit the NBA, with Nuggets Warriors(fuck,sorry) baller Baron Davis supposedly deep-dicking the spindly-legged, 42-year-old Teri Hatcher. And in many of the stories surrounding the Hatcher/Davis unholy union, Ms. Hatcher was described as a "cougar." So were they saying she was attractive? Beat to shit? It was hard to tell since, in my humble opinion, Teri Hatcher could probably fall on both sides of the line.
I consulted Urban Dictionary for clarification which, in its infinite wisdom, had 42 definitions for "cougar." Some definitions stated there needed to be some smidgen of attractiveness required; others said that it was not. This definition seemed most accurate:
have been party girl/s who are now angry they are not married and prey on younger men; common traits include leathery skin from frequent tanning sessions, smoking, anti-depressant use, and a large collection of "massagers.
The anti-depressants are key. (Side Note # 2: In reading through Urban Dictionary, I was reminded that "Smoky Tornado" has its own definition. Thanks again to Ryan Real for submitting it. I'm eternally grateful. )
Unlike the Pinot Grigio-soaked dusty bitches in Talbot's floral print pants most of us run into at local drinking establishments, the cougars of the NBA elite tend to have a little more quality. Just like tattoos and baggy shorts, it seems like this has the makings of becoming a trend amongst some of the league's black players. So don't be surprised to find more of these Hatcher/Davis-esque hook-ups during the next couple months. In other words, beware the Cougar Swarm.
So, this week, I'm speed-chugging a caraf of Cavit's, pretending my right palm is Jessica Tandy and placing odds on the next raggedy broad to snag a chocolate pickle.
Let's get blinded by hot flashes, after this MORE.
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nba playoffs
Baron Davis Climbs Andrei Kirilenko
If you watch closely, you can see Andrei Kirilenko looking back at Baron Davis afterwards, as if to say, "You know, that really wasn't necessary." Even Adonal Foyle crinkled up his nose in a "Damn that was nasty," kind of a way. When Adonal Foyle acknowledges the nastiness, you know things just got nasty. More »
whiskers of glory
Fear The Beard
We never really noticed it until Monday afternoon, when KNBR Radio's Ted Robinson brought it up, but Baron Davis' stellar play against the Mavericks so far might be the best point guard performance by a beard since Walt Frazier led the Knicks to the NBA title in 1973. Sure, other beards have performed well in the clutch; most notably Bill Walton's for the Trail Blazers in 1977. And let's not forget Clifford Ray's beard, which teamed with George Johnson's gigantic 'fro to form a center tandem that led the Warriors to the NBA title in 1975. But at the point guard position, has there ever been a MVW (Most Valuable Whiskers) candidate to beat these two? We can't think of one. More »
nba
Someone Has The Mavs' Number
We find it fascinating when, for one reason or another, a less talented team/player finds a way to dominate a more talented opponent. Our favorite example is Barry Bonds and Mike Bielecki. No matter how outstanding Bonds has been — for whatever reason — he never could do anything against Mike Bielecki, hardly the Mariano Rivera of his time. (Bonds was 3-for-35 against Bielecki lifetime.) If Mike Bielecki were as effective against the lesser talents in baseball as he was against Barry Bonds — the best player in the game — he'd be in the Hall of Fame. But he wasn't: He was mostly only good against Bonds. More »
nba
NBA Roundup: Baron Davis Takes The Helm
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ... More »
nba
