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New York, 4:41 PM
Tue Dec 15
14 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #barrybondsperjurytrial more →

    Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    This won't work. Testicular Criminal Justice hit a real snag a few months back, when after filing the first complaint, Charlie Weis couldn't pick his own out of a line-up.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    02/19/09

    @ClintonPortishead: So they called in Pat Hayden and Tom Hammond who identified the genitals in question.
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Bobby Big Wheel Bobby Big Wheel
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    Bonds' lawyer also argues that his client does not have shrunken testicles because the slugger owns AC/DC's Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap album.
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel was starred Bobby Big Wheel was unstarred
    Image of David Hume David Hume
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    There are quiet, still summer nights when I'm lying in my hammock outside, gazing up at the stars. I contemplate man's insignificance in a vast ocean of empty space punctuated by raging points of thermonuclear fusion. At times like that, my mind wanders to the important, deep, fundamental questions like What Barry Bonds' testicles are really like?
     Reply
    David Hume was starred David Hume was unstarred
    Image of Weed Against Speed Weed Against Speed
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    Visual inspection apparently won't do. Ruby noted that a "layperson" would have difficulty detecting diminished testicles "even by touch."


    Nevertheless, if inspection by touch is ordered, counsel for Barry Bonds insists that the song "Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'" by Journey be played during said inspection.

     Reply
    Weed Against Speed was starred Weed Against Speed was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    02/19/09

    @Weed Against Speed: Ruby also noted that when Bonds urinates his urethra sounds like Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music.
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Peter Cavan Peter Cavan
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    What about the medical evidence that his head is huge? Can they ask the clubhouse guy at Pac Bell Park how many different hat sizes he's issued to Barry over the years.


    He'd probably be a good source for the changing cup size too.

     Reply
    Peter Cavan was starred Peter Cavan was unstarred
    Image of Hatey McLife Hatey McLife
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    If the merkin doesn't fit...
     Reply
    Hatey McLife was starred Hatey McLife was unstarred
    Image of Candace Parker Secret Lover Candace Parker Secret Lover
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    Ruby noted that a "Layperson" would have difficulty detecting diminished testicles "even by touch."


    Betcha can't touch just one!

     Reply
    Candace Parker Secret Lover was starred Candace Parker Secret Lover was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    Barry has such disdain for this whole process that he is in the parking lot checking the direction of the wind so he can work on his putting. unbelievable!
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    Even by touch? So you mean it has to be done by taste?


    Poor Pedro Gomez....

     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of Gourmet Spud Gourmet Spud
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    "Raise your right ball. Put your left ball on the Bible. Do you swear..."
     Reply
    Gourmet Spud was starred Gourmet Spud was unstarred
    Image of Weed Against Speed Weed Against Speed
    02/19/09

    In reply to Bonds' Testicles May Not Have To Testify After All
    Iff testimony is allowed regarding Barry's shrunken testicles, there is no way in hell the outcome of this case will result in a hung jury.
     Reply
    Weed Against Speed was starred Weed Against Speed was unstarred
    Image of HockeyMountain HockeyMountain
    02/19/09

    @Weed Against Speed: All these testicle puns are going to drive me nuts
     Reply
    HockeyMountain was starred HockeyMountain was unstarred
    Image of Hustler of Culture Hustler of Culture
    02/19/09

    @Weed Against Speed: The defense is acting fairly ballsy right now
     Reply
    Hustler of Culture was starred Hustler of Culture was unstarred
    Image of MikeStantonWalkOffBalk MikeStantonWalkOffBalk
    02/19/09

    @Weed Against Speed: I have to say, they're really sowing the seeds of a strong case.
     Reply
    MikeStantonWalkOffBalk was starred MikeStantonWalkOffBalk was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    02/19/09

    @MikeStantonWalkOffBalk: His Vas deferens attorney will battle the charges confidently.
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
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