It's Barcelona's And Bayern Munich's World, Everyone Else Is Just Living In It

This weekend, Barcelona entered the stadium of the biggest club in the world and took on its starting lineup with a higher collective Q-Score than the cast of Ocean’s Eleven. The injury-stricken culés were missing their own brightest superstar and in his place featured a player who’s probably sold a grand total of 16… »Wednesday 1:47pm11/25/15 1:47pm


Arsenal Beat Bayern Munich With Two Of The Scruffiest Goals You'll See

For a while there it looked like Manuel Neuer’s superhero saves would keep a surprisingly dominant Arsenal off the scoresheet. By the end, though, the Gunners wound up sneaking the ball past Neuer twice—not with moments of brilliance, but by bungling the ball over the line by any means necessary.
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Please Enjoy Bayern Munich Dressed Up And Boozing For Oktoberfest

It’s that time of year again, when all of Bavaria breaks out their finest lederhosen and dirndl skirts, and prepares to lift krug after enormous krug of the finest German beers in celebration of Oktoberfest. Bayern Munich’s players and coaching staff are no exception, and so we have loads of pictures of them squeezed… »9/30/15 3:33pm9/30/15 3:33pm

Augsburg Wins As Bayern Munich Looks Bad Again

Bayern Munich came out poorly in an attempt to rebound after getting crushed in Barcelona earlier this week, only to lose 1-0 to Augsburg after playing most of the match down a man when Pepe Reina earned an early red card. But we’re really here to talk about Raul Bobadilla, whose exceptionally clever goal is what made… »5/09/15 12:27pm5/09/15 12:27pm

Barcelona Are Europe's Best Team; Now They Just Have To Make It Official

If the European Cup is worth its weight in silver and prestige, Barcelona should win it this year. That is to say, if the major competitions in this sport are designed to throw the best clubs in Europe into the most demanding possible gauntlet and, in the end, reward the one that’s proved its superiority, then a year… »5/07/15 4:11pm5/07/15 4:11pm

Lionel Messi Murders Bayern Munich

In what has been one of the greatest, most competitive games you’ll ever see, Lionel Messi reminded the world why he’s the greatest player to ever play the game. Barcelona came out dominating but couldn’t finish any of their numerous chances in a wide open first half, thanks mainly to a Herculean performance by Manuel… »5/06/15 4:38pm5/06/15 4:38pm

Bayern Munich's Injury Crisis Has Gotten Truly Ridiculous

I can picture Bayern Munich boss Pep Guardiola hunched over in his kitchen, still dressed in one of his typically immaculate suits, a couple buttons undone and his tie hastily loosened, remarking aloud about his team’s debilitating injury crisis this season. “Just when I thought we were out, they pull us back in.” »4/29/15 1:43pm4/29/15 1:43pm

Robert Lewandowski Gets Smashed In Head; Guardiola Wants To Fight Ref

Deep into extra time of the Bayern Munich-Borussia Dortmund DFB Pokal semifinal, Robert Lewandowski got clobbered in the head by BVB’s keeper. The injury itself was pretty gnarly, as was the fact that Lewandowski remained in the game, but on a lighter note, check out Bayern’s manager’s reaction at not being awarded a… »4/28/15 5:21pm4/28/15 5:21pm

Bayern Munich's 6 Goals Against Porto Today, Ranked

Bayern Munich had their backs against the wall. Down 3-1 to Porto after the first leg and short most of their best players due to injury, rather than folding under the pressure, Bayern kicked the shit out of their opponents 6-1, including a 5-0 lead at halftime. Here are all six goals, ranked by a top-secret… »4/21/15 6:19pm4/21/15 6:19pm

Manuel Neuer Has The Ability To Turn His Hand Into A Brick Wall

Saturday's Bayern Munich-Borussia Dortmund match wasn't as monumental as the matchup has historically been, but it was still an intense match featuring some of the world's best players hell-bent on getting one over on their rivals. While former Dortmund man Robert Lewandowski scored the only goal for his new employers… »4/06/15 5:45pm4/06/15 5:45pm