Cardale Jones Says He'll Put The Hands On Joakim Noah

During a break in last night’s playoff game between the Cavs and Bulls, Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones and other players from the national champion Buckeyes were introduced and cheered on the court. Of course, this harmless event led to Jones getting into a beef with Bulls center Joakim Noah, because if there’s… » 5/07/15 11:56am 5/07/15 11:56am

Brett Lawrie Has Made The Royals Crazy

It’s a good thing that the Royals-A’s series ended yesterday, because if the two teams had to play again today, I fear that A’s third baseman Brett Lawrie would end up dead. Yesterday’s game brought an end to a three-day saga that featured a possibly dirty slide, an apparent case of mistaken identity, and some truly… » 4/20/15 10:38am 4/20/15 10:38am

This DJ Who Interviewed Bobby Brown's Nephew Is The Actual Antichrist

Before we get into this, I just want to state for the record and for my mother that I am of the opinion that this video is actually too raw for Deadspin. We've published real, actual porn on Deadspin. We've published scores of dicks, and some vaginas besides, and a respectable amount of butt action on Deadspin. We… » 2/24/15 1:09pm 2/24/15 1:09pm

Dan Patrick Calls Out Colin Cowherd For Having "ESPN Muscles"

ESPN radio host and frenulum with eyes Colin Cowherd really likes to waste air time on his show by letting everyone know what a savvy sports radio veteran he is. Yesterday, he went on one of his rants about what it takes to make it in "this business," and while doing so talked some shit about Dan Patrick, whom he… » 2/03/15 2:43pm 2/03/15 2:43pm

How To Stir-Fry Beef, The Most Harrowing And Wonderful Thing

The problem with stir-frying is the common perception that it's this simple, quick way of throwing together a good dinner. I don't really know what to make, and I'm running late getting home from work, so I guess I'll just whip up some stir-fry is the thought process that leads, inexorably, to the 5,973,221st… » 11/08/14 1:01pm 11/08/14 1:01pm

How To Braise A Big Chuck Roast, And Stave Off Scurvy, For Now

Living the life of a regular person—teetering indefinitely on the edge of total destitution, that is to say—you get familiar with the tension between the limits of your financial wherewithal and the ugh like totally selfish desire to not just eat pasta and plain rice and cereal all the time and get scurvy. » 10/11/14 2:51pm 10/11/14 2:51pm

Steve Smith Warned Of "Blood And Guts," And DeAngelo Williams Is Ready

The Ravens and Panthers play this Sunday, which means that Ravens receiver Steve Smith, who was released by the Panthers in the offseason, will be facing his old team for the first time. If you know anything about Steve Smith, you shouldn't be surprised to learn that he started his shit-talking early. » 9/26/14 9:44am 9/26/14 9:44am

You Fucked Up Now, Jay Z, The Lax Bros Are Coming For You

Jay Z has a verse on the latest DJ Khaled track, which may or may not include a diss aimed at Drake (in response to that whole fondue plate thing): "Haters wanna ball, let me tighten up my drawstring / Wrong sport, boy, you know you soft as a lacrosse team." But instead of drawing Drake's ire, Jay's line has gotten… » 4/29/14 5:47pm 4/29/14 5:47pm