Tailgating, as you know, is a time for hot dogs and lemonade after you pay $45 to park three miles from your local football stadium. The NFL would prefer that you sit patiently in your cars and listen to the radio while waiting for kickoff, but they understand that you want to loosen up for the long walk to your seat. So why not pass the boredom by throwing ping pong balls at this custom table, emblazoned with the logo of your favorite team? Only $130!

Beer? What beer?

It's a pong table! I suppose you could put cups at the end of the table in some sort of triangular format and maybe throw the balls the into the cups. And if you'd like to put a beverage in the cups to weigh them down, that would be fine too. But who says it has to be beer? Why not water? Or a delicious Coca-Cola Classic™? You could put anything in there really. The important thing is that you're having fun ... and not gambling on it!

By the way, your starting running back is probable with a stiff neck. Probably from all the table pong!

If you came into the stadium and bought 20 cups at $9.50 a piece ... hmmm, maybe you could set up your table on the concourse of the second deck? Or failing that, you could just drink the beer without the aid of a stupid game. You know, like a human?

The NFL Finally Supports Binge Drinking (& Beer Pong) [Beer Pong News; Yes, this site exists.]

A reader sent in this old photo of almost-a-champion Andy Roddick playing beer pong at some young person function where they enjoy drinking and socializing. According to the reader, Roddick had a four-cup lead on the best beer pong player in the world before he became distracted and shockingly missed the table altogether with his next toss. This was the crucial, seminal moment where momentum shifted away from Andy. But Roddick hung in for as long as possible, and pushed his much more skilled opponent to the limit, setting up an amazing 30-shot back-and-forth when they each had one cup on the table. Roddick, exhausted, finally lost when his ball rattled off the side of the cup. Many who witnessed it said it was excruciating to watch, but were proud of how well Andy played. That still doesn't make the sting go away.

*****

Good morning. It's Monday. Let's ride off on thee women.

CARE [Citizens for Accountability and Results in Education] members say they retrieved the photos from a Web site of one of the party participants. "They were posted on the Internet - there was bragging about it, probably by the students," Poe said at the board meeting.

Photos submitted to police show an adult man and several younger people in a basement, standing and sitting around a Ping-Pong table peppered with plastic cups, beer bottles and beer cans.

Mason school officials confirmed Michael Crotty is the man wearing a Mason basketball warm-up suit and holding a Ping-Pong ball.

So...there's no photographic evidence of the kids drinking any of the booze? They're just standing around the table? I smell dismissal of charges, if any are pressed to begin with.

The kung fu pose by my man Crotty there is nothing less than supa smoove, by the way.

Because, seriously, setting up the table and those cups has always been so damned exhausting.

Video game publisher Midway has a new game coming out for the Wii system. "Party Game" will consist of several games including shuffleboard, darts, and ski ball, but the game that will take over college campuses this fall is Wii beer pong. Or Wii Beirut. Or "Ping Cup" as Midway refers to it:

The object of ping cup is to use the Wii remote to throw a ping-pong ball at a pyramid of cups.

Now, if they can just get that thing set up with an IV, we'll be all set.

Consuming With Wii [You Been Blinded]

Inspiring. This is what can happen when you've been blessed with a talent for accurately tossing ping-pong balls. And free time. Lots of free time.

Billy's Balls 2 [YouTube]

Finally an answer to the question: Does Armen Keteyian like to play beer pong in the basement? Yes: Yes, he does.

Speaking of Keteyian, we were flitting around on his Wikipedia page. We've always considered Keteyian a solid journalist, but we were disappointed to learn he ghostwrote George Lopez's autobiography. We hope you got paid a lot for that, Armen.

Armen Keteyian [Wikipedia]