Olympics Memory: Beijing's Many Mascots Get An Un-Friendly Welcome

As the London Olympic mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville, greet visitors with their expressionless, chilling, cyclopean stares, we remember the controversial unveiling of the previous Summer Olympics mascots. In this excerpt from Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, we learn the… » 7/26/12 4:43pm 7/26/12 4:43pm

Michael Phelps Making It Rain With Endorsement Loot

Michael Phelps, not even unpacked from Beijing, has already purchased a $1.69 million condo in Baltimore, complete with rooftop terrace, private screening room and robot butlers. (The latter wasn't in the online listing; I just threw that in there). Of course Speedo has already promised him a $1 million bonus for his… » 8/25/08 3:30pm 8/25/08 3:30pm

Conclusion Of Olympic Games Includes More Baffling Insanity

It all began when five terrifying mascots were introduced to the world in November of 2005, and now, with the extinguishing of the Olympic torch, the games of the 29th Olympiad have concluded. Whew. OK China, you've got some sweeping up to do, so we'll leave you to it. But before we depart, may we just say that your… » 8/25/08 10:30am 8/25/08 10:30am

If The Snaggle-Toothed Ping Pong Player's Gettin' Some, Everybody Is

Or so that's the statement from Matthew Syed, whose eye-opening Penthouse forum-style article in the Times of London titled "Sex And The Olympic City" makes it seem virtually impossible for any athlete not to get laid while they spend time in an Olympic village. Syed is a former British table-tennis champ who… » 8/22/08 1:30pm 8/22/08 1:30pm

China Continues To Seduce Us With Its Quaint, Draconian Charms

Two elderly Chinese women who had applied for a permit to protest at the Olympics have finally had their request reviewed by the Beijing police. The verdict? Of course it's re-education at a labor camp for both. Thanks for writing in! Also, as I understand it, at their hearing one of the women was replaced with a more… » 8/21/08 1:30pm 8/21/08 1:30pm

May-Treanor, Walsh Grab Gold, China Grabs Something Else

She's already got Dubya's handprints all over her ass, so Kerri Walsh hardly notices this, one would assume. Walsh and Misty May-Treanor brought home the gold for the good ol' USA once again, beating the People's Republic of Cop-A-Feel 2-0 (21-18, 21-18) early Thursday morning in Women's Parking Lot Volleyball. The… » 8/21/08 10:45am 8/21/08 10:45am