Olympics Memory: Beijing's Many Mascots Get An Un-Friendly Welcome

As the London Olympic mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville, greet visitors with their expressionless, chilling, cyclopean stares, we remember the controversial unveiling of the previous Summer Olympics mascots. In this excerpt from Tom Scocca's Beijing Welcomes You: Unveiling the Capital City of the Future, we learn the… » 7/26/12 4:43pm 7/26/12 4:43pm

Jose Calderon Would Like to Apologize Personally For That Whole Slant-Eyed Team Photo Thing

Remember the tempest over the Spanish basketball team photo » 10/01/08 1:30pm 10/01/08 1:30pm at the Beijing Olympics; the one where the players all pulled back back the skin at the corner of their eyes to make them look slanted? Jose Calderon is overcome with remorse over that. He's apologizing in the press, but not only that; He's personally…

A Little Olympics Snafu Down In The Control Room. Push The Button, Frank

One of my favorite Mystery Science Theater 3000 lines came during the movie City on Fire » 9/02/08 4:00pm 9/02/08 4:00pm, when, as a woman is gong into labor, Crow T. Robot yells: "Get a catcher's mitt!" It's hard to believe that it's been eight years since MST3K was canceled on the SciFi channel; but . Kind of. Yep, that's the Mystery Science…

Michael Phelps Making It Rain With Endorsement Loot

Michael Phelps, not even unpacked from Beijing, has already purchased a $1.69 million condo in Baltimore, complete with rooftop terrace, private screening room and robot butlers. (The latter wasn't in the online listing; I just threw that in there). Of course Speedo has already promised him a $1 million bonus for his… » 8/25/08 3:30pm 8/25/08 3:30pm

Conclusion Of Olympic Games Includes More Baffling Insanity

It all began when five terrifying mascots were introduced to the world in November of 2005, and now, with the extinguishing of the Olympic torch, the games of the 29th Olympiad have concluded. Whew. OK China, you've got some sweeping up to do, so we'll leave you to it. But before we depart, may we just say that your… » 8/25/08 10:30am 8/25/08 10:30am

If The Snaggle-Toothed Ping Pong Player's Gettin' Some, Everybody Is

Or so that's the statement from Matthew Syed, whose eye-opening Penthouse forum-style article in the Times of London titled "Sex And The Olympic City" makes it seem virtually impossible for any athlete not to get laid while they spend time in an Olympic village. Syed is a former British table-tennis champ who… » 8/22/08 1:30pm 8/22/08 1:30pm

Beard Apology Not Enough For CNN, The World

Amanda Beard apologized on Thursday for her recent comments about Michael Phelps, but not before she was raked over the coals by a crack panel of highly-respected journalists on CNN. OK, actually they're three D-list characters I'd never heard of. But it was » 8/22/08 10:30am 8/22/08 10:30am CNN, which promises to get back to that whole Iraq War thing…

China Continues To Seduce Us With Its Quaint, Draconian Charms

Two elderly Chinese women who had applied for a permit to protest at the Olympics have finally had their request reviewed by the Beijing police. The verdict? Of course it's re-education at a labor camp for both. Thanks for writing in! Also, as I understand it, at their hearing one of the women was replaced with a more… » 8/21/08 1:30pm 8/21/08 1:30pm

May-Treanor, Walsh Grab Gold, China Grabs Something Else

She's already got Dubya's handprints all over her ass, so Kerri Walsh hardly notices this, one would assume. Walsh and Misty May-Treanor brought home the gold for the good ol' USA once again, beating the People's Republic of Cop-A-Feel 2-0 (21-18, 21-18) early Thursday morning in Women's Parking Lot Volleyball. The… » 8/21/08 10:45am 8/21/08 10:45am