A Belgian Beer From Quebec, Perfect For The End Of The World

This marks the first year in at least the past 10 that I have not resolved to learn even the basics of a foreign language. My monolinguism is deplorable, considering that I aim to communicate for a living and have had plenty of opportunity to learn other tongues over the years. But I've never made any real progress,… » 1/15/15 1:08pm 1/15/15 1:08pm

Stella Artois Is A Disgrace To Belgium

A couple weeks ago, I wrote a big, trashy, sensationalist, and 100-percent accurate post titled "There Is No Excuse For Drinking Heineken," in which I argued that there are literally thousands of better-tasting ways to communicate to the world that you have a dollar more than the price of a Budweiser. I thought that… » 10/29/14 2:49pm 10/29/14 2:49pm

Yes, Tim Howard Really Was As Great As He Seemed Yesterday

As close as the USMNT came to dragging Belgium to penalties during its second half of extra time fury, we have to remember that our team had no business being in that position. With the quality of chances Belgium created throughout the match's 120 minutes, they should've scored early and often. They did not, only… » 7/02/14 4:11pm 7/02/14 4:11pm

Belgium's Shot Map From Yesterday's Game Is Bananas

This, from Squawka, was produced by the goddamn Belgian firing squad that Tim Howard stood in front of for 120 minutes during yesterday's soul-crusher. The man saw 39 shots—the fourth-most ever fired in a World Cup game since they started counting in 1966—and he turned away 16 of them. Nobody has stopped that many… » 7/02/14 12:52pm 7/02/14 12:52pm

Every Country We Played Trolled Us With "Yes We Can!"

The Belgians had faith in their boys coming into today's Round of 16 match against the USMNT. Following the tradition of every other team we've played in this World Cup, one paper thought it would be funny to turn the famous Obama campaign slogan "Yes we can!" against us. They were right. They could. We couldn't. » 7/01/14 7:37pm 7/01/14 7:37pm

The U.S. Lost And Everything Sucks

And that's how it ends, after a high-scoring, vein-popping extra time that provided the variety of heartbreak we never would have expected over the first 90: the sense that they could have done it. But that's the World Cup—could've-should'ves may provide moral victories, but they don't keep you warm for four years. » 7/01/14 7:05pm 7/01/14 7:05pm

Why The United States Can Beat Belgium

The USMNT take on Belgium today in their Round of 16 clash, and few think the Belgians are a lock to win. And there's good reason for that. Possessing a cavalcade of quality players in nearly every position, de Rode Duivels' "golden generation" boasts one of the strongest teams on paper and is considered a dark horse… » 7/01/14 2:33pm 7/01/14 2:33pm

Allow This Hype Video To Get You So Damn Pumped For U.S.A.-Belgium

So listen, this is pretty much the only time that we Americans really get to claim ourselves as honest-t0-God underdogs. This status comes with certain perks, like the ability to watch the hype video above—which is very concerned with BEATING THE ODDS and FLIPPING THE DAMN SCRIPT—and not feel like a phony for getting… » 7/01/14 9:42am 7/01/14 9:42am