On Tirico's radio show yesterday, Big Ben had this to say about playing the Cowboys:

"I got to play at Dallas, I think it was my rookie year," Roethlisberger said. "I'm glad they're coming up here to play us. I'm thinking about sending an all-expenses paid trip for Tony (Romo) to go to Mexico."

Tafoya shot back, "I thought you were going to bring Jessica to you." And Roethlisberger played along. "We could do that too," Big Ben said. "I might just fly her in."

Roethlisberger, who was at one point dating the very flexible professional golfer Natalie Gulbis, may have unwittingly jinxed his team with this comment. Good news for Jessica Simpson, however, who has seemingly earned herself a free trip to Pittsburgh. It's very pretty there in December.

Big Ben Takes Aim [Dallas Morning News]
Ben Roethlisberger takes jab at Cowboys and Tony Romo [Steelers Live]

In fact, according to an analysis of the Pittsburgh-San Francisco game yesterday, a game holds only 13 minutes of actual athletic gameplay.

According to the statistics, the Steelers' offense was actually doing something athletic on the field for 5:01 during the entire game. According to these stats, the Steelers ran 53 plays from scrimmage: 20 passes, 33 runs. When he's not passing, Ben is handing off — something your mailman does every day. Unless your mailman is Jim Thorpe, there's nothing athletic about that.

We're nice guys, so we'll help Ben with our next step in the analysis and give him 10 extra plays. For ease of math, we'll give the Steelers 60 plays from scrimmage — 30 rush, 30 pass. Dividing the 5:01 from the above graph (rounded to 5:00 for math) by 2 gives us 2:30 for running plays, 2:30 for pass plays. Roethlisberger is being athletic for 2:30 a game. We could be dicks and say that his actual time is 1:15, because half of that 2:30 is spent watching his receivers catch and run with the balls, but whatev. Take that 2:30, multiply it by 16 games, and it gives us 40 minutes of Ben athleticism during the course of a season. (We aren't factoring in when he chases people who intercept him. )

See? Football players are lazy!

(," he said, while sitting down and eating a bowl of cereal at 3 p.m. in the afternoon.)

NFL Gameclock Analysis [The Pens Blog]

• Ben Roethlisberger threw 12 passes yesterday, and four of them were for touchdowns. Meanwhile, Charlie Frye ... you know, it's not like this guy is Tim Couch. Last year, some legitimately thought he might be the future quarterback. Now he's not even the quarterback of the second half of the opener. Maybe he should bounce his head off some pavement, then wait a year.

• We haven't talked to Daulerio yet this morning, but we can't imagine Eagles fans are going to smiling any time they force another team to punt any time this season. This is what happens when you let Andy Reid's sons return kicks. Free Jeremy Bloom!

• We have been crossing our fingers that we would see some Jared Lorenzen this year. Oh, and isn't Reuben Droughns supposedly on that team? The Giants were peeled off the field with rather large spatulas. We think it would be funny if Tiki Barber said, "Just kidding!" and came back to the team. Would make for some fun practices.

• In two weeks, we're going to head to Ralph Wilson Stadium for the Bills-Jets game. We cannot fathom how difficult it must be to live as a Bills fan. The world is just one big nutpunch for those guys.

• You guys here? The Patriots made same changes in the offseason, and they seem to have been effective.

• We suspect we speak for a lot of people when we express our joy at seeing Keith Olbermann back doing highlights for NBC last night. A little of Olbermann goes a long way, but it was pure pleasure to hear him do schtick from before it was cool, and then not cool, to do schtick. In fact, we enjoyed the whole NBC "Football Night In America" telecast, though, all told, we prefer the announcers' table more than the players' table.

As we all know, Roethlisberger has never been the same since the accident — though the whole "appendix removal" matter likely didn't help — and those in Steeler land have to wonder if he ever will. Our favorite aspect of the crash remains the Steelers fans who grilled outside the hospital. That's as appropriate response as any.

Happy Ghost Rider Anniversary, Ben [Pittsburgh Sports And Mini Ponies]
Roethlisberger Injured In Motorcycle Accident [Deadspin]

The reserve has not yet been met; bidding is currently stuck on $28,100, with the auction scheduled to end on May 13. It's a 2004 GMC Yukon, though apparently you don't get that dog as part of the deal.

Roethlisberger is famous for his big motorcycle mishap last year, but the truck appears to be in good enough shape. Though we wonder if there are some concussion-related dings; we imagine Big Ben occasionally trying to signal left turns with the windshield wiper.

2004 GMC : Yukon DENALI [eBay]
Buy Big Ben's Ride [Mondesi's House]

For those of you whose lives are just not completely without a drunken photo of Kyle Orton, Rex Grossman or Ben Roethlisberger ... hey, it's your lucky day! This one's from Mondesi's House, and features Big Ben making the exact face you would expect someone to make when they are sitting on a couch next to Carson Daly. (Sorry, Carson! LUV YA!)

It's Good To Be Big Ben [Deadspin]
Big Ben Does It Again...With Help From Carson Daly [Mondesi's House]

I've met and played golf with people like Donald Trump. He's a good friend. We talk once a week at least. He's a great guy. We actually converse quite often and joke about things. I'm planning a time that I can go to New York and hang out and he's going to come to a game.

That Roethlisberger talks with Donald Trump once a week — seriously, once a week? What in the heavens do they talk about? — is a mind-blowing concept and is proof that Roethlisberger's head injury was considerably more serious than had been initially understood. We fully expect him to be mowing lawns for a living and wearing a Starter jacket inside out sometime in the next couple of years.

Maybe Big Ben Will Defend Donald [Mondesi's House]

We're to our final quarterfinal matchup, with the semis taking place next week in a torrent of voting mania. (Or something.) We encourage you all to vote on the extremely tight Mariotti-Reynolds matchup. First, a reminder of the bracket.

For all those who felt Barbaro was robbed in the Hall of Fame voting, here's another chance to show your support. Meanwhile, Ben Roethlisberger was dangerously close to becoming glue several times himself this year.

The matchup breakdown:

No. 3 Seed: Barbaro
2006 Highlights
Crashed out at the Preakness.
Inspired some amazing letters (and haiku!).
Banged a woman, fictionally.
Didn't die. In fact, got, uh, a few more letters.

No. 6 Seed: Ben Roethlisberger
2006 Highlights
Showed us just how to drink like a champion.
Celebrated winning a Super Bowl by cutting his hair.
Crashed his helmetless head into something made of concrete.
Lost an appendix.
Accepted that his team wasn't very good anymore.

So, go vote: Who is headed for the Final Four?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

The Cincinnati Cyclones, an ECHL hockey franchise, is hosting, this Friday, a Big Ben Helmet Safety Night. Anyone who shows up will receive "information on motorcycle safety, along with $50 gift certificates to The Plastic Surgery Group." A lucky winner will be awarded with a $500 gift certificate to that plastic surgery group, though we wonder, considering this is hockey, if they can use that on teeth.

Don't forget the kids, either: "The first 1500 kids will receive Cyclones foam goalie helmets and two lucky ticket holders will receive Pocket Rocket motor bikes." We love that they're called "Pocket Rockets." Concussions sold separately.

Cyclones Weekly News [OurSportsCentral]

The guy who made that my-lord-it's-everywhere Tom Brady tribute video has come out with a new one, devoted to SHOTY Tournament quarterfinalist Ben Roethlisberger. It's moderately amusing, but we mostly enjoy that it briefly features our famous Big Ben photos and ends with the line "Should have started Charlie Batch ..." That can't be a good sign.

It's Good To Be Big Ben [Deadspin]

We bring you this famous YouTube video of the world's worst police dog in honor of the news that Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has offered to buy a new police dog for his hometown of Findlay, Ohio, after theirs was killed when it ran into a neighbor's yard. (Deserved it, too!)

It goes without saying that the Roethlisberger police dog will get hit by a car within a week of the job.

Roethlisberger To Buy New Police Dog [Toledo Blade]

(UPDATE: Sorry about the initial typo: Roethlisberger will not, in fact, be a police dog. Not that we wouldn't enjoy that.)

All right, after what appears to be an easy victory for Matt Leinart last week, fellow losing-team quarterback Ben Roethlisberger enters the fray this week in the Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year Tournament. (We're calling it "SHOTY.") He takes on famous freakout minor league manager Joe Mikulik in another first-round matchup.

The new graphic there, along with the full bracket after the jump, is another work from the genius mind of Jim Cooke, who famously did our Hall of Fame graphics. The man is, well, the man.

But for now ... to today's matchup. Here's the No. 6 vs. No. 11 tapetale!

No. 6 Seed: Ben Roethlisberger
2006 Highlights
Showed us just how to drink like a champion.
Celebrated winning a Super Bowl by cutting his hair.
Crashed his helmetless head into something made of concrete.
Lost an appendix.
Accepted that his team wasn't very good anymore.

No. 11 Seed: Joe Mikulik
2006 Highlights
Lost his goddamned mind. That's really enough. If you haven't watched the video, we highly encourage you to watch his meltdown again.

So, go vote: Who advances to the Elite Eight?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Well, looks like Roethlisberger is looking to change his ways a little bit; he announced yesterday that he won't be riding his motorcycle anymore. Previously, he'd only said he would wear a helmet; now he's going to limit himself to vehicles with four wheels or perhaps even more. It might not help him avoid the pass rush, but it should be beneficial to his teeth, anyway.

Unfortunately, Roethlisberger just isn't as rebellious to us anymore. We had thought he was a badass counterculture type before this; we mean, he rode a motorcycle! Now, he's just a tool of the man. For shame, millionaire. You're not one of us anymore.

Big Ben Is Off The Bike [CentreDaily]

Meanwhile, the Post-Gazette's Ed Bouchette has done some extensive research (looked up an old story) and pointed out that the Steelers' predicament might not be as dire as many believe. The New England Patriots began the 2002 season at 3-4, with quarterback Tom Brady posting a sickly 64.3 passer rating. They finished 9-7 and out of the playoffs that season, but came back the next two seasons to win consecutive Super Bowls behind Brady.

So get your heads out of those ovens, Steelers fans. It's not time for this just yet.

* = Quote may not be accurate.

Cowher Takes Blame For Steelers Poor Play [ESPN]
Steelers' 2-5 Start: The Aftermath [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
If You Gotta Go, That's A Nice Way To Do It [Deadspin]

• So, yeah, kind of looks like Ben Roethlisberger is ready to wear a motorcycle helmet over his football helmet. Smaller Than Usual Ben was horrific yesterday, and the Steelers lost to ... the Raiders? Wha? We thought that only happened to the Buzzsaw. The Steelers are done for the year, and it would seem like coach Bill Cowher should at least consider giving Roethlisberger a few weeks off, before he contracts leprosy or something.

• It has been awfully quiet, with the spotlight (as they say) on several other teams, but if you haven't noticed, it's the 7-0 Colts at the 6-1 Patriots next week. We say this only to be the first to, because no one's going to shush about it for the next six days.

• One of the nice things about being in Mattoon over the past week was all the stories about Tony Romo, who went to local Eastern Illinois University and is considered a local hero. We're back in New York now, so we haven't seen today's paper, but we love how every reference includes the EIU connection. We expect every story about Terrell Owens from her until the end of time to mention "Owens, who once caught passes from EIU graduate Tony Romo."

• Yep: The Buzzsaw are who we thought they were. Jeez, is Denny Green still here?

• What's going on with the Eagles? We had them penciled in for an NFC Championship game with the Bears just a couple of weeks ago. What they really need is an attention-grabbing, insecure wide receiver. That would put them over the hump.

• The NFC West is the NL Central: Discuss. Does this mean the Super Bowl champ's gonna come out of there?

• This week's The Mighty MJD Smorgasbord quote: "Chad Johnson scores a touchdown... and he breaks out a little salsa dance, helping the NFL celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month. The Greek makes an argument later that the "Ocho Cinco" nickname is actually disrespectful to people of Hispanic heritage. Not intentionally, mind you... but is it such a big honor if you're butchering the language at the same time? The Greek asks, "Would it be good if someone did the same thing for Black History Month, and their number was 'Fo' Five'?"

It turns out that Roethlisberger's head injury on Sunday was not terribly severe, as much as any head injury isn't "terribly severe," and he should be good to go against the Raiders on Sunday. His agent said that he talked to Roethlisberger on Sunday and he "was coherent and aware of everything that had occurred." And hey, that's a great sign! That's more than we can say about some of our weekends.

Honesty, by the end of the season, Roethlisberger is gonna be taped up and carted around the Steelers backfield, "Weekend At Bernie's" style. It beats Charlie Batch, anyway.

Roethlisberger Set To Play Sunday [Rotowire]

For all those who felt the infamous Ben Roethlisberger "Drink Like A Champion" pictures were some sort of bad publicity for the quarterback and the Steelers, we point out this display at a suburban Pittsburgh mall.

We don't think these T-shirts are officially licensed by the NFL ... but we can all agree they probably should be.

Larger version of the whole store, to prove that this is a legit Steelers merchandise store, after the jump.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—

So yesterday, when asked about whether or not he was ready mentally to be a starting NFL quarterback again, the Steelers' Ben Roethlisberger said the following quote: "The doctors said there's nothing wrong with my brain, but I'm having brain (cramps) out there. It's one of those things where you make mistakes and you learn from them."

Actually, that's not quite true: That's just what the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette quoted him as saying. But Roethlisberger, of course, did not speak in brackets: He said "brainfarts." And they bleeped him! Who bleeps "farts?" We've consulted our handy AP Stylebook, and there appears to be no concrete rule against using the word "fart."

That mainstream media! Always trying to censor the TRUTH, man!

Pittsburgh Media Frightened By The Word "Fart" [Dave's Football Blog]

As one might expect, much of the broadcast concerned Roethlisberger, particular that darned appendix. The good souls at CooterPunch actually have video of Michele Tafoya's in-depth report on all matters Roethlisberger appendix, and may it please be the last time the phrase "large intenstine" appears on a "Monday Night Football" broadcast.

By the way, we continue to await Tony Kornheiser cutting loose, or doing much of anything, on these broadcasts. As The Mighty MJD put it at The Fanhouse last night, "he's got to stop approaching this like he's Trent Dilfer, and start going after it like Brett Favre."

Monday Night Football Appendectomy [CooterPunch]
The Kornheiser Chronicles, Week 2 [The Fanhouse]

The appendix didn't burst, say the doctors, and the surgery was a routine repair. During the surgery, doctors also took the precautionary step of affixing a little tiny helmet on Roethlisberger's appendix.

He'll be hospitalized until Monday. He may end up missing a few weeks of the season because of this, and Bill Cowher has already ruled him out for Week 1. That would leave the starting duties to Charlie Batch, and the back-up duties to... well, that would be wide receiver Cedric Wilson. I don't mean to point out the obvious to Steeler front office, but... you know, Jeff George just became available.

But at least the Steelers will still have their best wide receiv—actually, scratch that. Hines Ward is also listed as questionable. His status could be changed throughout the week, but if Batch is the starter, Ward might as well go ahead and sit this one out, as no football will be approaching a Steelers wide receiver anyway.

Surgery sidelines Roethlisberger for opener [Steelers.com]
Steelers WR Ward questionable for season opener [ESPN.com]

But we had to point out the name of the band. The band is called "The PovertyNeck Hillbillies." We're sorry: That's the worst goddamned band name we have ever heard. Apparently they're big around Pittsburgh but haven't quite broken through nationally, something they're hoping Roethlisberger's apperance in the video will change.

We love Pittsburgh: Almost everyone we have met from there is pretty much our type of people. (Commence mocking of our upbringing ... now.) But the Rooney family has "named the PovertyNeck Hillibillies as the official band of the team." No wonder Randle El left.

Big Ben To Appear In Country Music Video [Pittsburgh Live]

Donald Trump's ass is expansive and sublime. It is the Rolls Royce of hinders; the last word in posteriors; The Butt That Launched A Thousand Ships. It was impossible to watch a minute of his threesome — golf — on Friday through Sunday without marvelling at the hugeness of it. The Trump Rump put all others to shame at this event. We're only sorry we didn't get a picture of it; but, like Crazy Horse and the Loch Ness Monster, it has never been successfully photographed. His buttocks seem to have a mind of its own, moving independently of the rest of its owner. Once on Saturday, it provided shade for three exhausted children and a duck. We were honored just to be near it. It is a fanny of greatness.

Oh yeah, the threesome. For 18 glorious holes on Saturday is was Donald Trump, Ben Roethlisberger and Bode Miller. Together, for the first time in human existence. Which brings us to our next observation: The human race is doomed. Here's why. As Trump, Big Ben and Bode exited the ninth hole, thus mingling with the crowd, two small boys looked up, and one of them yelled, "It's Donald Trump!" As the boys thrust their books at Trump — ignoring Roethlisberger and Miller — we said a silent prayer for all of mankind. The End Times are surely nigh.

Speaking of Big Ben, you will see after the jump that he looks — in our opinion — better than he did before the accident. Conspiracy theorists are claiming, in fact, that there was no accident at all, that it was just a publicity stunt. One of them may be former Cardinals quarterback Neil Lomax, who told us: "You would have thought that Roethlisberger was the President, the way things were covered after the accident. It was ridiculous. The NFL today is overblown, overhyped and overexposed. A lot of it is a joke." We hate it when athletes won't open up.

On Saturday, celebrity golf fans got the first preview of the state of Big Ben's throwing arm, as he heaved a football toward a boat in Lake Tahoe from the 17th. It was a toss of about 40 yards, nice spiral, which somehow made it onto eBay before getting wet. Among other odds and ends, HBO Band of Brothers actor Matthew Settle broke a boat's windshield — in two places — after slicing a shot on No. 17; Charles Barkley hit a scoreboard; and actor Jack Wagner won it all — the first time a non-athlete has finished first in the 17-year history of the event. Wagner's 13-year-old son was his caddy, and the actor dedicated the win to him. It should be noted, though, that we saw the pair on Friday on a practice green, and the kid couldn't have looked more bored or disinterested. "I wanted to go jet skiing! This sucks!"

Oh, and Dan Patrick still wouldn't talk with us. But damn it, Trump's ass cast its shadow upon us, blessing us with its greatness. We'll always have that.

Some photos after the jump.

Live From Tahoe [Deadspin]

Big Ben looking fit, mere weeks following his motorcycle accident. Suspiciously fit, if you ask us.

We are in fourth place — not bad, considering we haven't played golf since high school. What? We know not of this "Chris Chandler" of whom you speak.

The best seats for holes 17 and 18 were free. Hot babes per vessel averaged 4x1. Not bad, but not as good as the Vikings on Lake Minnetonka.

OK, we finally tracked down Big Ben. But we didn't talk to him. It's kind of hard to gain access when the guy has two steroid-soaked bodyguards with him at all times. Yeah, Ben Roethilsberger has "people" now. Hey, you know how it is on the mean streets of Lake Tahoe (motto: enjoy our complimentary muffins).

Ben's guards are huge, and cranky. Not only do they keep the press away from the Steelers quarterback, but they look on as he's signing autographs, making sure no kid gets more than one. Ask for two, and you just may get yourself snapped like a mop handle. "Hey, keep it moving, Oliver Twist." There's was Big Ben press conference today at 9 a.m., Pacific but nothing if there's anything exclusive, though we're no Jim Rome. Oh, Roethlisberger's face looks fine, by the way. Maybe a little puffy, but that could just be from the muffins.

Celebrity golf tournaments are geared for autograph signing, and American Century puts an emphasis on the meet-and-greet. The players know that iif they aren't accomodating to fans, they might get pushed to the end of the invitation list. Of course, some are too big to worry about that. Michael Jordan, for one. He canceled two days before this event. And some seem to get a bad rap. Many fans told us that Lance Armstrong is a horse's patoot, but judging by the photo above (that's Lance in the middle somewhere, signing), it's hard to justify.

We talked with several autograph hounds and made a consensus list. For your reading pleasure, the good guys, and the bad guys at the American Century:

• Mario Lemieux: Not friendly.
• Marcus Allen: Impossible to approach.
• Jerry Rice: OK. He's polite.
• Marshall Faulk: "Overpaid freakin' douche."
• Herman Edwards: Signs for everyone, no matter how long it takes.
• Chris Webber: Very approachable. Very nice.
• John Elway: "A total ass."
• Anthony Edwards: Nicest guy here. Also the funniest.
• Kevin Nealon: Hard to imagine anyone better (he stinks).
• Mike Schmidt: "A total jackass."
• Lance Armstrong: "Complete Freakin' Ass."
• Dan Patrick: Devil spawn who blew us off.

OK, that last one was ours.

And don't forget, as per request by a commenter, we will have an exclusive review of the size and paucity of Donald Trump's posterior, as soon as he shows up. So look for that on Monday.

All kinds of examples of this, with the ultimate being Ahmad Rashad's daily backrubs for Michael Jordan. But Kobe Bryant has Jim Gray. Terrell Owens has Michael Irvin. LeBron James is clearly grooming Stephen A. Smith for this role. And yesterday, in his first public comments since his accident, Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger graced Jim Rome with this spot. (Sorry to "Good Morning, America," which is trumpeting a Roethlisberger scheduled for tomorrow as an "exclusive," even though, uh, we just saw him on ESPN.)

We suppose that it makes sense that Roethlisberger would choose Rome. They're clearly both rebels who buck the system; you can tell by the goatees! And if we had to guess who would be the chosen radio host of people who drive around fast on motorcycles without something to protect their brain, Rome would probably have to be our pick.

(UPDATE: Roethlisberger says he was making it up to Rome for missing his show because of the crash. Good thing Rome didn't call him "Chris.")

We must report, guiltily, a twinge of disappointment at Roethlisberger's relatively normal-looking countenance. We certainly weren't wishing him disfigurement, but we were still expecting something. Frankly, he looked more damaged in the "Champion" photos.

Though, to be fair, there are still symptoms of potential brain damage following the accident. Like, the goatee, for example.

Hear Roethlisberger's non-helmeted rationalizations Friday morning, if you're the sort who gets up that early.

It's Good To Be Big Ben [Deadspin]
Roethlisberger Injured In Motorcycle Accident [Deadspin]

Oh, and that Ben Roethlisberger is going to be in attendance, unveiling his new face for the first time in public. He'll mingle with American Century regulars such as John Elway, Michael Jordan and Steve Spurrier. Plus, Maury Povich and Cheech Marin will be there. And just for laughs, Dan Quayle. We hear that they tried to get Carl Monday, but he was busy, digging out gophers.

Plus, as always, heaping, gratuitous doses of Charles Barkley, whom we have seen in action with a golf club. We'd suggest that Big Ben wear a helmet.

Update: Lance Armstrong has just been added to the field. Sweet.

Tee Time For Big Ben [SI.com]
American Century Championship
Armstrong One Of Many New Faces At Golf Tournament [Tahoe Daily Tribune]

He released a statement telling fans he would wear a helmet when on his motorcycle from now on, which is an excellent idea, even if you're a Bengals fan or someone with "psychological problems whose brains never fully developed."

The craziest part about Big Ben's appeararance, according to the fully developed brains at The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, is that he showed up to the office covered in a green mask, Michael Jackson's child/Elephant Man style. Steelers coaches said, "they were surprised how good he looked and that the swelling and bruising that was readily apparent in his neck and facial area last week had greatly subsided."

All right: Somebody out there has a picture, right? It's been two weeks, people.

Big Ben Visits Steelers Office [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

(UPDATE: He actually was at Steelers headquarters last week, not today. Our mistake. Sorry.)

Our favorite take on the helmet/no helmet controversy, however, remains this, from Planet Haystack:

Big Ben got the Steelers the Super Bowl title which most of America hoped for — and if he chooses to go sans helmet when riding a motor-scooter, why am I 'sposed to care about someone who doesn't care about himself? Big Ben doesn't come to my house and rip the Pall Mall outta my mouth as I'm lightin' up and urge me on with, "Dude, I could really use your support for the next 10 seasons. Why would you want to cut it short with cigs?" Touche, Benny Roth!

Woman Who Hit Big Ben Getting Threats [MSNBC]
Roethlisgerger, Car Driver Are Both Charged [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Ben Nice Knowin' Ya [Planet Haystack]
A Steelers Child To Haunt Your Dreams [Deadspin]

The recovery period for the Steeler Nation may be longer, however. The first sign that Steelers' fans were taking this hard came with the news that hundreds of people were holding vigil outside of the hospital during the surgery. And being Steelers fans, of course, some had brought with them portable grills. This is absolutely true; Roethlisberger's seven-hour surgery provided yet another opportunity for Steelers' fans to do a little tailgating.

"WOOOOO, facial reconstructive surgical team! WOOOO!"

"Get your Big Ben towel-holding surgical forceps here! Official forceps of the Big Ben surgical team!"

Fans are also flooding the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette and Roethlisberger's personal blog with good wishes for a speedy recovery, as should be expected. But at the same time, many are royally P.O.ed at Ben, because, as we know, he wasn't wearing a helmet. And that's causing quite a stir. Some reaction to that after the jump.

Multiple Injuries, Few Answers For Roethlisberger [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]
Ben Roethlisberger — Official Blog

(UPDATE: Doctors say the injuries are only on Roethlisberger's face and that he'll be ready to play by Week 1. Lucky fella, that guy.)

I think you're one of the greatest players in the NFL now, but your refusal to wear a helmet is, honestly, a slap in the face to the thousands of people who've been seriously injured in motorcycle accidents. — Tyler.
— Ben Roethlisberger Blog.

I'm pretty upset with you right now, but that has to slide for the time being.
All I'm going to say is that you have to remember that it's not only the automobiles that are recalled by their makers.
You can be as careful as ever, but that doesn't mean that everyone else always is.
Now we've both learned the hard way that we have to choose our battles wisely, head vs. car and/or head vs. pavement is not exactly the fairest of match ups. — Posted by: Tatiana
— Ben Roethlisberger Blog.

I HAVE to curse our state (Pa) for their choice of making helmets optional?????) I cringe EVERYTIME I see someone on a motorcycle without a helmet (sick of hearing that one yet????).. — Brenda
— Ben Roethlisberger Blog.

We all love you and care to much about you to see you get hurt again so please wear a helmet! I know i can't make you but i hope you will quit putting yourself in danger, but like i said your in my thoughts and prayers and i hope you recover fast. i think today is the longest time i've ever watched the news but it was worth it. — Amber.
— Ben Roethlisberger Blog.

There should be no sympathy for him. He had a choice. Not that he deserves it, but that's what happens. It's like if you're a kid and you stick your finger in a socket. Lesson learned. — Rory Bernhard.
— from Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Any football player should take it upon himself to not put himself in a situation where he could put himself in harm. Because it's not just affecting him, it's affecting his teammates. [Mr. Roethlisberger's] actions can adversely affect the whole Steelers organization. It comes down to a level of personal responsibility ... I think it's so stupid he has to be on a motorcycle. — Kevin Woodward.
— Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Everyone's talking about this, not soccer. I just don't get it. I don't get it. — Kara Laux.
— Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Anyway, here's a roundup of Big Ben info:

• Doctors say Roethlisberger has no knee injuries — as some had originally feared — and they would know, considering they spend seven hours with him in surgery.
• Here's some more ugly, ugly photos from the crash site.
• What was the planned October 1 promotion for the Pirates? "Ben Roethlisberger Motorcycle Safety Course Day." OK, not really, but definitely some nice foreshadowing from the Post-Gazette's Gene Collier.
• The hardcore Steelers fans at Dave's Football Blog are doing what they can to smile through the pain. And failing.
• Until they deleted it last night, you could buy parts of Roethlisberger's bike on eBay. Of course you could.

According to an eyewitness, he was not wearing a helmet when he flew over the handlebars and hit his head on the windshield of a car. The witness tells KDKA he said his name was Ben and seemed groggy. She says he was bleeding from his head. He has been taken to Mercy Hospital.

The picture on KDKA's site is rather scary, and there's no word as of yet on his condition. We will keep you updated, and, of course, will be keeping good thoughts.

Roethlisberger Involved In Motorcycle Accident [KDKA]

(UPDATE: The Pittsburgh Channel has aerial video from right after the accident.)

(SECOND UPDATE: This bike has apparently been a source of concern for a while now.)

(THIRD UPDATE: Roethlisberger is now in surgery. He's in serious condition, but is said to be alert and moving all his limbs.)

(FOURTH UPDATE: Here's a photo you hate to see.)

(FIFTH UPDATE: From The Pittsburgh Channel: "According to a police source, Roethlisberger suffered a broken jaw, broke his left sinus cavity, suffered a 9-inch laceration to the back of his head, lost many teeth and has severe injuries to his knees from hitting the pavement. A plastic surgeon has been called in, the source said.")

"Considering GW's hard partying past perhaps Weis should have presented the President with a more fitting Notre Dame shirt," he said. "Maybe one like Ben Roethlisberger was recently seen sporting." Ha. Squint your eyes and it's almost like pledge week at Yale.

(NOTE: Not a political statement. All Ted Kennedy photoshopped heads also cheerfully accepted).

Chasing Bush — Drinking Like a Champion at Notre Dame? [The Wade Blogs]

When you think about it, it's all well deserved. Rufus (official registered show name: "Rocky Top s Sundance Kid") bested a field which was much more difficult than the one the Steelers faced — 2,622 entries in 165 breeds and varieties. Lost in the commotion, however, was the fact that former Florida State linebacker Keith Carter and his rottweiler, Shaka, made the final seven. "This is bigger than the 'Noles-'Canes," said Carter after his dog won the working group on Monday — a first for a rottweiler. "This is very different than football, but it really gets your competitive juices going." Of course, Carter played with Deion Sanders at FSU, so he's used to a certain amount of prancing and showing off.

Colored Bull Terrier Wins Best in Show [MSNBC]

Randle El: Woo-hoo! I love you, God!
God: Thank you. I love you too, My son. Congratulations on the Super Bowl.
Randle El: Thanks, man!
God: So, I read the paper today. Says you're planning on consulting Me on your upcoming unrestricted free agency. You said, "I am not sure if this is where God wants me to continue to be or if he wants me to go elsewhere. I just have to keep praying about it."
Randle El: Totally! Through Your grace I am cleansed and replenished.
God: Well, I've been thinking, you've gotta think about resigning with Pittsburgh. Sure, the open market is going to give you plenty of options, but I think My grace should provide at least three years, $21 million, $15 million signing ponus. Easy. That's minimum.
Randle El: Thanks, God! Your will be done. Think endorsements should stay strong?
God: There should be improvement, particularly if you can get hooked up with (giggles) Roethlisberger ... that guy's (snort) pretty awesome.
Randle El: Hey ... is that you Big Ben?
Roethlisberger: Aw, yeah, I'm busted. Sorry, man, I couldn't help it: I'm totally wasted! Gotcha!
Randle El: You got me. That was the best joke that will damn you to eternal damnation I've heard all week.
Roethlisberger: Rock. Oh, but seriously, you should stay.
Randle El: I'll have to pray on it. Here, I'll try again. God, I come before you ...
God: Please, I'm begging you: Leave Me alone. I'm terribly busy; you have no idea how difficult a negotiator Belichick is.

Bible Is The "Game Plan Of Life" [Pittsburgh Post Gazette]

Then of course, Dave shaved off his beard — we think we all saw that coming. So that should end the discussion. Yes?

Meanwhile, they're still going bonkers over at Ben Roethlisberger — Official Blog, where fans were still commenting deep into the night, including this post which came in at 3:19 a.m.:

"Hello? Netizens? Many people Tokdo (Dokdo, Tokto = Korean Word) Island (Dakesimar = Japanish Word) Japan's territory be and know that write "East Sea" that is "Japan Sea". However, Tokdo Island is Korean territory. It is historically attested truth. That had been the Korean country 600 years ago from now, "Shilla" conquered Tokdo Island. Japan did not approach in Tokdo Island ever since. However, Japan tries to plunder our territory and territorial water recently. This is illegal act. Tokdo Island is Korean territory and "East Sea" is Korean territorial water. Thank You." — Korean.

We have a feeling that somehow they'll figure out a way to blame this on the refs too.

More Big Ben shaving pictures after the jump.

It was almost not like this. Wednesday afternoon, WTAE-TV in Pittsburgh, after an interview with your humble editor, posted a story on their Web site called "'Drink Like A Champion': The Big Ben Photo Connection." Within an hour, the story — along with the pictures — were picked up by the Drudge Report. Look, we have proof.

The story was on the Drudge front page for about half an hour before, inexplicably, WTAE took it off their Web site. (The link was originally here; you can find it in the Google News cache here.) The story is now nowhere to be found. Once they did that, Drudge also took it down, because — get this — Drudge has an insane policy of not linking to blogs, which is like a television remote that doesn't allow you to switch channels.

When we emailed Gus Rosendale, the reporter who interviewed us for the story, he said, "Turns out they decided not to run it, Thanks for all your help, anyway." Since we had seen the story, we knew this wasn't true, so we pushed further. We received a response from (a most helpful) news editor Bob Longo, who said it was an editorial decision not to run the story. We sent him the Google news cache page and the Drudge item and had the following exchange:

Deadspin: So the thing is, it certainly seems like you DID decide to run it ... until people actually started seeing it, at which time you took it down, for whatever reason. Would that be an accurate statement?
Longo: That is accurate.

Longo emphasized that he was not pressured to drop the story, and we believe him. But when you include what another Pittsburgh reporter who had been planning a story on the photos told us, it starts to look strange: "We got shut down by management regarding the story. Apparently, there's concern that our [elderly] owner may frown on our quarterback slugging tequila with bar whores while brandishing the face of a Don Martin cartoon."

So, alas, the story remains an "Internet phenomenon," one of those stories that people like Jay Mariotti can say exist only on the "Wild West of the Web." (There were a few exceptions.) But hey, we all got to see the pictures, and it was rather impossible not to enjoy them. And we know a lot of people are going to be watching Big Ben with big goofy smiles on their faces Sunday.

And hell, some people even made whole videos of the pictures. (And they kind of made "Cold Pizza." That's fun.

It's Good To Be Big Ben [Deadspin]
Quarterbacks Gone Wild [Attack Of The Show]
Players Just A Click From A Web Of Woe [Jacksonville.com]
Google News Cache [Google News]

Listen. This is what Seahawks tight end Jerramy Stevens said on Tuesday: "[Jerome Bettis being from Detroit] is a heartwarming story and all that. But it will be a sad day when he leaves without that trophy." This "trash talk" can be translated, quite easily, as "we think we are going to win Sunday."

It doesn't matter how many microphones you stick in Joey Porter's face. This is not trash talk. This is not interesting. This is not a story. How can we put this nicely? We do not care.

Listen, media throngs: We know you're bored. We know there's nothing to write about. We know the team PR staff is telling you not to mention the drunk Big Ben photos (and, apparently, your editors are telling you not to mention the name of "the Website" that ran them). We know this week hasn't turned out nearly as fun as you thought it would be. But please. Stop. We're begging.

Pictures Of Ben Pop Up On Web Site [Beaver County Times]

• Where did the photos come from? Did you take them? Someone sent them to us. We don't know how to work a camera.

• When were they taken? We don't know, and we do not claim to. Judging by the length of the beard, however, we're going with "more recently" rather than "while at Miami of Ohio." We do doubt it was the night before the Broncos game, though.

• What's the big deal? It's just a young guy out having fun. We agree. There are certainly worse photos out there of just about everyone we know. We think it has become a story because the Super Bowl is the most canned media event in sports; the players are bioprogrammed by their handlers to eliminate any element of humanity from their personalities. When something like this comes out during Super Bowl Week, people seize on it because, well, it's at least something of interest. Put it this way: Would you rather read about Drunk Big Ben pictures, or hear more about Jerome Bettis' parents?

• Has Roethlisberger addressed the pictures yet? Not that we know of. He wasn't asked about them at today's press conference, mainly because reporters were busy chasing down the "How exciting is it to be here, in Detroit?" story. If he decides to, we suggest he use the Kyle Orton tactic of just saying, "Hey, I'm young, I went to a party, people took pictures. Whaddya gonna do?"

• Did "Cold Pizza" host Dana Jacobson really say the phrase "Deadspin is amazing" on ESPN live television this morning? She did. We could make you happy, Dana. We are of pure spirit and stout constitution.

It's Good To Be Big Ben [Deadspin]

(Perhaps inevitably, someone's already selling T-shirts about this whole thing.)

Is Ben Roethlisberger the next Tom Brady? Or is he the next Joe Namath? We don't see any reason why he can't be both.

Full versions of each picture after the jump.

RELATED: Roethlisberger Photos FAQ

Welcome all new Deadspin visitors, by the way. We hope you like it around here. Check out our on-site Super Bowl coverage, along with everything else we do around here.