Deadspin: bert blyleven

Yeah, Bert Blyleven Ate Those Worms

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 11 May 2009 10:45:53 EDT

Gee, I wonder why this guy isn't in the Hall Of Fame yet? (It was all for charity, folks.) And where is angry press release from PETA? [Sportress of Blogitude]

Bert Blyleven In "How To Eat Fried Worms"

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:15:49 EDT

MEDIA ALERT: Bert Blyleven will eat a live nightcrawler in front of Metrodome fans before the Twins-Mariners game on Saturday. Plan your weekend accordingly. [Two Big Boobs]

Bert Blyleven Loves To Fart

Rick Chandler — Fri, 30 May 2008 15:00:16 EDT

OK, now I get it. I've always wondered why Bert Blyleven wasn't in the Hall of Fame, and now it's clear: Post-game flatulence. He's just simply farted on too many writers over his long career. It's all here in this rather surreal interview with Big League Stew.

My favorite exchange:

Q: Speaking of pride, what about this T-shirt you've been photographed wearing that says, "I [heart] to fart"?

BB: I LOVE to fart.

Q: What's wrong with you?

BB: I'm honest. Have you ever farted?

Q: One or two times.

BB: And did it feel good?

Q: Always.

BB: Probably so. That's why I wore it. I love to fart. I do. When the time is right, I do it. I'm not going to hide it.

Q: You're so blunt about your love for flatulence.

BB: Yeah. Well, someone gave me the shirt because of my history of farting, so I wear it. I LOVE to fart. I think I still have it.

Q: What gets you really gassy?

BB: Anything. The air we're breathing right now.

Q: Should I be ready for something?

BB: I have no trouble. It's not one thing that I eat, it's just passed down from my father. My father was a very good farter. I have a sister who's very good at it, too. Probably better than I am.

Q: Women aren't "supposed" to do that.

BB: Oh, I think times have changed — at least in the Blyleven family.

Also some great stuff in the interview about the infamous Twins-Yankees TV broadcast where he dropped two live F-bombs. Nice to hear from you again, Bert.

Bert Blyleven Talks The Hall, Swearing On Air [Big League Stew]

Johan Santana Is Mr. August

rickchand — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 09:15:23 EDT

This will be your one and only Bert Blyleven update for this season, so pay attention. Blyleven, to my knowledge the only Minnesota Twins starting pitcher to have been born in Zeist, Netherlands, struck out 15 Oakland Athletics on Aug. 1, 1986; a Twins record. Or it was, until Johan Santana struck out 17 over eight innings in a 1-0 win over the Rangers on Sunday.

Blyleven, of course, is now a broadcaster for the Twins, famed for saying "fuck" on the air at least twice, and also for the following comment, which I hope is true: Earlier this season, Blyleven and broadcasting partner Dick Bremer were discussing bowling, and Bremer said that he had his name on several bowling shirts. Blyleven responed: "So you have 'Dick' on your shirt?" Blyleven, who won 287 games in a 22-year career, is the only eligible member of the 3,000-strikeout club not in the Hall of Fame. This annoys Twins fans no end, and to tell you the truth I'm not exactly thrilled about it myself. Of course, he also once gave up 50 home runs in a season, which is still the major league record. Fun fact: Santana is 20-2 with a 1.85 ERA in 28 August starts since 2003. He gave up only two hits on Sunday — both by Sammy Sosa — and improved to 13-9. Mike Cuddyer's home run provided the only run of the game. Hey, is that new stadium ever going to get built, by the way?

• Frasier Crane Approves (But Will Not Be Watching). The Seattle Mariners: Not playoff bound? The Fighting Ms are a half game ahead of the Yankees in the wild card race, and two behind the Angels in the AL West. But Seattle plays 17 of its next 20 on the road, and I don't think that any are against the Devil Rays. Still, they're one of the hottest teams in baseball, so who knows? Jose Guillen's two-run homer in the first led an 11-5 win over the White Sox on Sunday.

• It Came From The Bottom Of The Sea. Hmm, was I just besmirching the Devil Rays? Tampa Bay 4, Cleveland 3 in 12 innings. Joel Guzman game-winning single in the 12th.

• 40 Is The New 12. John Smoltz struck out 12 to pass Phil Niekro on the team career strikeout list, Atlanta beating Arizona 6-2 behind Mark Teixeira's two homers. Smoltz now has 2,920 strikeouts. Still, the Diamondbacks have won 10 of their 11 series since the All-Star break.

• The Thrill Is Gone. I am shocked to learn that Philadelphia blew a 4-0 lead en route to an 8-4 loss to the Pirates. Matt Kata's three-run double in a seven-run seventh inning was the highlight.

Blyleven Isn't Out Solving That Thing; He's F—-ing It Up

Leitch — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 11:45:25 EDT

You know, it's a sad day when a broadcaster can't let loose a couple of "fucks" on the air without getting suspended for it.

Twins broadcaster Bert Blyleven, who is always doing something with a microphone he shouldn't be, has been suspended two games by the Twins for, as the AP story puts it, "uttering words after slipping up during Sunday's segment, which he thought was being taped rather than broadcast live. The words are on the Federal Communications Commission's list of words that can't be broadcast between 6 a.m. and 10 p.m." That's an extremely long way of saying what the vulgarian that is Aaron Gleeman quotes as ""We gotta do this fucking thing over again, I just fucked it up."

We don't have any video of this yet, but honestly, we don't see what the big deal is. If you fuck up a fucking thing, you have to do the fucking thing over again. What's the problem?

Blyleven's Bawdy On-Air Talk Earns 2-Game Timeout [Chicago Tribune]
Notes From The Weekend [AaronGleeman.com]

(UPDATE: Here's the clip.)

Question Seems Perfectly Logical To Us

Leitch — Thu, 01 Jun 2006 13:45:34 EDT

Former Minnesota Twins Bert Blyleven occassionally takes time out of pleading for Hall of Fame election — justifiably, if you ask us — to broadcast Twins games for Fox Sports. The other evening, he was put in the unfortunate position of having to talk to former "American Idol" contest Ace Young (a.k.a., "The One You'd Love To Curb") in the booth. We can't imagine what we'd possibly have to talk to Ace Young about, but if we had to ask something, we might have asked what Blyleven did.

After a brief moment of awkward silence, Blyleven blurted out, "Let's talk about Paula Abdul ... Did you get lucky with her?"

We'd pay good money to see a Blyleven -Rick Sutcliffe booth combo, wouldn't you?

Um, Does He Know His Microphone Is On? [World Of B]
-And Here's Your Rick Sutcliffe Video [Deadspin]