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New York, 9:25 AM
Tue Dec 8
14 posts in the last 24 hours

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posts about #blacktable more →
Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table

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Katni
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
*A weekend. Christ.
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Thundercracker
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
oh, anyone in the LA area interested in being in a TV Viewer test panel? 2 hours with a 1 hour pilot for a drama, and a super packed 1 hour buffet lunch. I don't find people for this normally, but I'd rather not have this really cool show judged by a bunch of fat moron tourists, I'd much rather have the minds of some deadspinners.
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Katni
01/08/09

@Thundercracker: I'm in San Diego, but is it on weekend?
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@Thundercracker: Well, I don't have a job, so I don't have anything to do, but the commute from Seattle would probably be a bitch.
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Thundercracker
01/08/09

@Katni:

yeah it will be a saturday afternoon next month
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Katni
01/08/09

@Thundercracker: Shit, I'd do it. I'm off to bed, but leave me a msg with your contact info, for sure.
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Thundercracker
01/08/09

@Katni:

sweet, will do. thanks
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Katni
01/08/09

@Thundercracker: I'll talk at ya tomorrow! Thanks!
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Katni
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
I should probably bail too. New Year's Resolutionists mean that I have to be at the gym no later than 5:30 AM if I don't want to arm wrestle a 65-year-old woman for a treadmill. Peace.
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notthequarterback
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Forgive me for sounding old and out-of-touch, but who are the Deschanel sisters, exactly?
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@notthequarterback: Don't worry, I'm in the same boat as you are.
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spinachdip
01/08/09

@notthequarterback: They are:

* Zooey from a bunch of movies and one half of She & Him

* Emily from Bones

* Daphne, who does mostly radio, voice overs and "before" pictures for diet pill ads
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Katni
01/08/09

@spinachdip: I didn't know there was a Daphne. Huh.
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spinachdip
01/08/09

@Katni: I might be lying about that.
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Katni
01/08/09

@spinachdip: damn you. I'm gullible.
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chilltown
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Alright, DUAN, I'm out. Thanks too all of you for birthday wishes. Tomorrow I get to call about my jury duty! What a birthday present the great state of New Jersey gave me.
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Andy Hutchins
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
My XBL gamertag is the Klantastic RenegadeJustice. I really was not thinking when I picked that one out.
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Andy Hutchins
01/08/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: It's RenegadeJustice. Just those 15 chars.
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

Goddamnit, Nibbles. I'm going to fucking superkick you right in the taint.

@Rock You Like An Iracane: I'm adding you right now. FYI, I only have a couple 360 games.
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Well, if this is the video-game portion of DUAN, then here are my gamertags:

PSN: PQCrash

XBL: PQ Crash

Wii: 3246 3241 0002 2029

Just let me know if you plan on adding me.
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FirstDerivative
01/08/09

@PQ Crash: How do I add on Wii, and find out my tag? PM me and I'll give you my email.
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@FirstDerivative: Just send me an e-mail to pqcrash_at_gmail_dot com and I'll walk you through it.

@Rock You Like An Iracane: Oh really?
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Chalkdust
01/08/09

@PQ Crash: What do you play on PSN?
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@ChalkdustTorture: Nothing. I don't know anyone that is on PSN. You?

@Rock You Like An Iracane: It was probably for the best. I hope your power rankings comment wasn't about commenters, but of celebrities. (I know, I'm out of my element.)

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Point.
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Chalkdust
01/08/09

@PQ Crash: A bunch of stuff.. haven't picked up any sports games besides Head Coach yet, but I'm considering one of the NBA games or maybe NHL soon at least.

I guess I should've phrased my question better: what do you have that you could play online? :p

For me it's mostly GTA, Burnout Paradise, LittleBigPlanet as of late. But I have other stuff too.
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@ChalkdustTorture: Okay, here goes (as far as anything decent for online):

Burnout Paradise

Guitar Hero World Tour

Grand Theft Auto IV

Gran Turismo 5: Prologue

Madden '09

MLB '08

Rock Band 2

Soul Calibur IV

Warhawk

Street Fighter II: HD Remix
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Craig Eshericks Mustache
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Ah, Anne Hathaway. Smart, funny, and drop dead gorgeous. You even make watching Leno somewhat tolerable.
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Andy Hutchins
01/08/09

@Craig Eshericks Mustache: What's she wearing?

I grabbed a (free) magazine today because she was on the cover.
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Craig Eshericks Mustache
01/08/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: Black dress - not very cleavage-revealing, skirt ends a couple of inches above the knee. Bright red shoes.
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Unknown Commenter
01/08/09

@Craig Eshericks Mustache: She's lovely; I'd trade both Deschanel sisters and Kylie for her.
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Craig Eshericks Mustache
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Careful with that. Clare might hunt you down. But yes, I agree wholeheartedly. Plus, she seems to have terrible taste in men, so all of us have a shot, right?
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Andy Hutchins
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Seriously, we need to come up with a DUAN Power Rankings for Women (And Men) at some point. Evidence would be good.

I'm not even joking about this.
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Katni
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Y'know, I don't get the Hathaway love. She's certainly pretty, and seems to have a good head on her shoulders by Hollywood standards, but there's something......lacking. I dunno. Not dissing. Just an opinion. I personally think the Deschanel sisters are far more charismatic.
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Clare
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Is that so? Then I withhold my "Kylie in a wet t-shirt" photo from you.

@Craig Eshericks Mustache: I assume you're talking about Anne Hathaway's terrible taste in men, but mine's been pretty bad lately too.
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: Remember the last time there was any sort of a commenter ranking? Or tournament?

/still wonders how in the hell he got into the elite eight...
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@Clare: Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
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Unknown Commenter
01/08/09

@Katni: I get that, but I think it's that she's not polished to a high sheen like the rest of them; but she also seems more real, she doesn't seem to filter every little part of her. Though I'll admit, she could probably be the second coming of Hitler and with that body I wouldn't notice.

And Zooey is to be honest kind of weird; everytime I see her on Letterman I wonder what the heck is wrong with her.
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Katni
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: I can definitely see that about Anne; she does seem more genuine than most. Weird as this sounds, I have a subconscious affinity for Zooey for no other reason than she looks kinda like my best friend's wife (who is awesome.) Only recently did I find out about her musical proclivities. Yeah, she's artsy and a hipster (of which I'm neither), but she definitely marches to her own beat, and I respect that.
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Unknown Commenter
01/08/09

@Katni: All great qualities, but be able to string a damn sentence together; it's not like Letterman is trying to nail her to the wall, he always pitches softballs to women he likes.
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notthequarterback
01/08/09

@Katni: You're right. I used to be into Hathaway but now I think she's busted. (You're a chick, right?)
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Katni
01/08/09

@notthequarterback: Yep. Like Hank said, there IS something less-polished about her, which is pretty cool for a celebrity, but, yeah, as other chicks go, she's just not doing it for me.
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Katni
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: I haven't seen many interviews with either of them (probably the same reason I haven't seen much Oprah- not enough quality time with the TV.)
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Unknown Commenter
01/08/09

@Katni: You do understand that mostly this is about me having just seen her in HD wearing a short dress 10 minutes ago? Tomorrow it'll be somebody else and I'll have basically the same reaction.

Though this pic makes a compelling argument: [www.celebnewswire.com]
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Katni
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Well, when you put it THAT way.....

Way sexy get-up she has going there.
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notthequarterback
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Meh, too much schnozz.
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Andy Hutchins
01/08/09

@Katni: Also, curves everywhere, not just in the front and back. I like a little substance to the leg, and she has it.
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Katni
01/08/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: That in particular I do like about her. She's not a stick, and doesn't seem to want to be. Holy fuck, that was the most Jezebel-esque thing I think I've ever uttered here. Yikes.
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notthequarterback
01/08/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: But-Ter-Fay-Suh.
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Katni
01/08/09

@notthequarterback: You know what it comes down to for me? Her eyes. Something is NOT right about them. Nose, lips, body, everything else is just peachy. The eyes bug me for some reason.
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notthequarterback
01/08/09

@Katni: Body is nice. Face bugs me as a whole. And I'm not a fan of super-pale chicks. She wouldn't dig me anyway, I don't launder money or deal H.

@spinachdip: @StevePerryPsychOut: No wonder I didn't know who they were - I'm hopelessly out of touch with pop culture!
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notthequarterback
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
It's only appropriate that we should re-enable Tatumfor3's commenting abilities for comment #10,000,000.
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chilltown
01/08/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Well DUAN, I'm officially of age. Ladies...
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Shakey
01/08/09

@chilltown: Well happy birthday!
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Katni
01/08/09

@chilltown: Old enough to vote or old enough to drink? Because there's not an election for another 4 years, but I'm thirsty NOW.
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chilltown
01/08/09

@Katni: Old enough to vote. I don't listen to the government about drinks, because I am thirsty now.
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Katni
01/08/09

@chilltown: Well, happy birthday, whippersnapper. Now get off my lawn.
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Clare
01/08/09

@chilltown: Congratulations! I think this is an appropriate sentiment for your 18th birthday.

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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@chilltown: Chilltown, happy birthday.
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chilltown
01/08/09

@Katni: @Sculptor?!? I just met her!: @Sex Fabregas: @Count Antonio Alfonseca Rugen's Sixth Finger: @StevePerryPsychOut: @FirstDerivative: Thank you to all.

And 100 million pounds of talent might get us out of the relegation zone. Barely.
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chilltown
01/08/09

@Clare: Embedding disabled by request? I like it!
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Clare
01/08/09

@chilltown: Oh, goddammit. It's Age of Consent by New Order.

Goodnight, everybody.
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Sex Fabregas
01/08/09

@chilltown: I don't know how Citeh who played pretty well last season, and added in the summer is struggling. Your previous owner really shouldn't have fired Sven. Only a crazy person would be a city fan, I admire your loyalty.
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Katni
01/08/09

@Clare: Night! See you at the mailbag tomorrow!
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chilltown
01/08/09

@Sex Fabregas: Funny story actually...when I was a wee lad, my dad bought me a VHS (remember those) of the Treble season for ManU with the intention of making me a ManU fan. Of course the only thing I liked in that video was Nicholas Anelka scoring a hattrick against ManU for Liverpool. When I saw the video, Anelka was playing for City. I immediately became a City fan. I had no idea what I was in for, but it certainly has been fun.
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Sex Fabregas
01/08/09

@chilltown: Thats the Manchester equivalent of giving your son a porno and hes more into the dudes on the tape than the ladies. Your dad must have been crushed.

City fans always seem the most fun to be around at soccer bars. I was standing with 3 of them last CL final and having a grand time cheering on the penalty shot misses.
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chilltown
01/08/09

@Sex Fabregas: Oh my dad's a South African who really didn't care about which soccer team I rooted for as long as I supported the Springboks and hated the Aussies in cricket and rugby. I've only met 2 other Man City fans in America but they are both great guys.

When I was in England this summer and I told people that I was a City fan, the reactions were hilarious.
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FirstDerivative
01/07/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Hey DUAN! Any you kids here play NHL 09 on PS3?

It's fucking crack addicting.
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StevePerryPsychOut
01/07/09

@FirstDerivative: ugh, not available on the fucking Wii. Fuck!
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Chalkdust
01/07/09

@FirstDerivative: I've heard it's the best team sports game out right now. Or at least in recent games. Haven't played a hockey game since Wayne Gretzky's 3D Hockey, though.
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@FirstDerivative: No, I haven't picked that up yet. I've got a huge backlog of games I'd like to get through before I pick up anything else.

Except I broke that rule last week when I found a mint copy of Marvel vs. Capcom 2. Now that game is addicting.
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FirstDerivative
01/08/09

@StevePerryPsychOut: I considered getting 2k9 for Wii, just beacuse I like the idea of actually checking my opponents.

@Rock You Like An Iracane: I'm currently looking for opponents online.

@ChalkdustTorture: The Be A Pro mode is absurdly innovative on this game.
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StevePerryPsychOut
01/08/09

@FirstDerivative: hitting people in Madden and golf balls in Tiger Woods is very satisfying.

@chilltown: happy birthday! 18 or 21?
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FirstDerivative
01/08/09

@StevePerryPsychOut: You ever play Madden online - I've got Madden/Mario Kart/Fit for Wii and I am one happy guy right now.

I feel like I'm in college all over again.
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MorelOrelHershiser
01/08/09

@FirstDerivative: I downloaded Super Mario Kart from the Wii Channel. That game was responsible for me missing 1 straight week of classes.
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StevePerryPsychOut
01/08/09

@FirstDerivative: I don't have it rigged to my internet here because Comcast sucks balls and I haven't had a steady connection any time I've tried. All three of those are sweet - check out Shaun White also - the balance board is pretty amazing with it; and my video game crack is Ghost Squad.
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StevePerryPsychOut
01/08/09

@MorelOrelHershiser: I spent one night of every weekend from 3rd to 6th grade sleeping over at my friend Larry's house where we would alternate between Super Mario Kart and Turtles IV: Turtles in Time for approx. 12 continuous hours.
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FirstDerivative
01/08/09

@StevePerryPsychOut: MissDerivative got me some Wii Guns, so I'm looking for games to try that out on.

@MorelOrelHershiser: I'm still shocked about how effing good the Wii is. I got it this past May, for my birthday, and I play it all the time.
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MorelOrelHershiser
01/08/09

@StevePerryPsychOut: Turtles in time was solid, but much harder to invent drinking games to. I assume since you were in 3rd to 6th grade this wasn't an issue for you. My "Turtles In Time" game of youth was Battletoads. Damn I'm old.
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MorelOrelHershiser
01/08/09

@FirstDerivative: As simple and stupid as it is, Chicken Shoot is fun, mindless, and cheap. I am hooked on BoomBlox, and Smarty Pants is a fun party game.
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FirstDerivative
01/08/09

@MorelOrelHershiser: I need one more solid PS3 title, and one more Wii to officially end my social life.

The Wii is so cool though. I can't stop driving stupid Mario Karts - although a cheap shooting game would be awesome, so I'll be sure to check it out.
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PQ Crash
01/08/09

@MorelOrelHershiser: My game(s) of youth? Mega Man 1-8. And Ninja Gaiden. And the Final Fantasy series. And Tecmo Bowl. And Zelda. And Super Mario Bros. 3. And...you get the point.

/horribly misses his NES Max controller.
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Chalkdust
01/08/09

@FirstDerivative: Depends what you're into/looking for in terms of more games to end your social life.

As far as the Wii, I don't own one but I recommend Mario Super Sluggers for those who enjoy Mario games, simpler sports games, and have people to play with in-person. Super Smash Bros Brawl is also quality.

With the zapper, never used that but according to Wiki there are a few games that specifically support it: [en.wikipedia.org]
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Uno514
01/07/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Good evening DUAN,

How 'bout them Celtics?!
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Chalkdust
01/08/09

@Uno514: Just waiting for the bleeding to stop. Someday. Very little is going right.
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chilltown
01/07/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Wow, Deadspin is nearing its 10 millionth comment.
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Andy Hutchins
01/07/09

@chilltown: How do you know this?
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chilltown
01/07/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: When you click on the @commenter name, the url is changed to reflect what comment number you are going to. Right now we are at 9,889,877 or so.
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Count Antonio Alfonseca Rugen's Sixth Finger
01/07/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: Easiest way is to click on the username of the last post on here, and check out the url for their last comment. For instance, your last comment's url is "http://deadspin.com/5125840/#c9890044". I'm guessing (and so is chilltown, I assume) that the stuff following the pound sign is a counter for all comments here.
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PQ Crash
01/07/09

@chilltown: Or is it for the entire Gawker Media Empire?
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chilltown
01/07/09

@Count Antonio Alfonseca Rugen's Sixth Finger: Actually guessing by the rate that those numbers are increasing (my guesstimate in the previous comment was based on the url for a comment about 20 comments downthread and its 65 lower than RYLAI's), its probably the number of comments on all Gawker sites combined.
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PQ Crash
01/07/09

@chilltown: I just checked a thread over at io9 (I believe it's Gawker's newest blog) and their @comment#s show numbers very close to ours.
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chilltown
01/07/09

@PQ Crash: Yes, it must be. I just did some quick and very dirty math and the number of comments posted on Deadspin is somewhere between 1 and 2 million. 10 million makes sense for all of Gawker.
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Andy Hutchins
01/07/09

@chilltown: I smell a competition.
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PQ Crash
01/07/09

@chilltown: So, there can only be one, true, "First!!!111one!!!eleven" comment.
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chilltown
01/07/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: 10,000,000 GET!!!!

/ /b/
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Andy Hutchins
01/07/09

@chilltown: So what about the seven-digit number in the URL?
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chilltown
01/08/09

@Rock You Like An Iracane: I'm guessing post number.
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Sex Fabregas
01/08/09

@chilltown: how the hell'd you do that(the quick maths)?
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chilltown
01/08/09

@Sex Fabregas: It was extremely quick and dirty. I figured 12 posts a day, average of 50 comments per post (probably a bit generous but it covers the 100+ comment posts). That number plus 450 for the average DUAN, times 1000 for the about 3 years deadspin has been active with large numbers of comments. Thats about 1.1 million, and while my math is rough, 9.9 million is out of the question.
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PQ Crash
01/07/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
It's a shitty time to be a Seahawks fan. Because when it rains, it pours.

/cheap and lazy turn of phrase

//at least Tatupu can get ready for another appearance on Extreme Home Makeover
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Jefferson Tardship
01/07/09

@PQ Crash: Just make sure Ty Pennington snorts a couple of Adderall before he designs his "special [needs] project" of a bedroom.
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PQ Crash
01/07/09

@Jefferson Short Bus: That photo was taken in Orting, WA today. (about 40 miles south of Seattle, in the Rainier Valley). And they aren't referred to as "bedrooms" down there. They're referred to as "stalls."
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J-Animal
01/07/09

In reply to Happy Birthday (And R.I.P), Dear Old Black Table
Speaking of roommates, some of you may remember the douchetastic reply I got last week on my roommate search (Seen here: [profile.myspace.com])

Well, I got another reply today (actual email): Hi! My name is Brandi Russell and Im moving to Chicago in a couple of weeks and your apartment looks really nice. Is it a nice neighborhood? I'm from Meridian, Mississippi and we don't even lock our doors down here. I mean, my dad always tells me I got to, but I never do. Heehee. Anyways, I'm moving up there for school (super excited!) and need a place to stay do you want someone who is going to stay there a year or just for a while? Im probably gonna spend a lot of my money on the trip up and it might take me some time to make enough for rent. I'm getting a job, but might take a little while. would you exchange services for rent? Now get your mind out of the gutter! I mean laundry and cooking and cleaning. Those pictures look like you could use a girl's touch. Email me back and let me know.

Well, I do my pre-screening (stalking) and find her on MySpace. The way she talked I expected her to be 19, but no. She's 33. With 3 children. [profile.myspace.com]
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Katni
01/07/09

@J-Animal: Nice! What "services" is she willing to exchange, exactly?
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Jefferson Tardship
01/07/09

@J-Animal: I didn't think you could create a website with a Bedazzler.
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thejuiceisNOTloose
01/07/09

@J-Animal: I was about to say she could share my bed, but then you got to the bottom, and I looked at the myspace.... and... I'm not sure I would pick that up even black out drunk
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Katni
01/07/09

@J-Animal: I actually had something similar happen with my recent roommate search. Fucked up as it sounds, I basically insisted on somebody in the military. Guranteed income, and not at home a whole lot of the time. Win-win.
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Jefferson Tardship
01/07/09

@thejuiceisNOTloose: Sometimes the 'F' in MILF stands for "forget".
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Katni
01/07/09

@Katni: *Guaranteed. I spell good.
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J-Animal
01/07/09

@Katni: She said get my head out of the gutter. She obviously doesnt know me...

@thejuiceisNOTloose: I still cant comprehend how that email came from her? Who says heehee and when talking about school says "Super Excited!"?
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Katni
01/07/09

@J-Animal: Honestly? I don't think she would have mentioned it if she wasn't at least entertaining the idea of a little sumthin-sumthin for some free rent. But then, I tend to think the worst of people, so you never know.
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PQ Crash
01/07/09

@J-Animal: I'm getting a job, but might take a little while. would you exchange services for rent?

Because a lapdance is always better when the stripper is crying.
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Unknown Commenter
01/07/09

@J-Animal: Just... no.

I reckon her moving to the big city ain't the best idea.
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MorelOrelHershiser
01/07/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner:
I reckon her moving to the big city ain't the best idear

Fixed
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Katni
01/07/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: Yeah, because she'd be one of those insufferable small town twits that will marvel for YEARS at how goshdarn different everything is from back home.
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Unknown Commenter
01/07/09

@MorelOrelHershiser: You're dun right.

@Katni: I'm thinking she's gonna be WAY too trusting; that usually ends very poorly.
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J-Animal
01/07/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: @Katni: If you are suggesting that I might live with Kenneth the Page, I might reconsider.
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Unknown Commenter
01/08/09

@J-Animal: 50/50, sure you may get Kenneth, or you may get somebody who when they graduated high school listed the WCW Power Plant as the institute of higher learning they were attending.
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Thundercracker
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner:

are you mocking me and my degree in "Elbow Drops"?
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Unknown Commenter
01/08/09

@Thundercracker: I'm sorry but an undergrad in elbow drops is no better then one in poli-sci or psychology. But it's never too late to go back and get your masters in leg locks.
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Thundercracker
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner:

I wanted to major in "Top Rope Maneuvers" but shockingly it had a really strict math requirement.
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Unknown Commenter
01/08/09

@Thundercracker: I never understood why steel cage match had a welding requirement; you're not building one, just wrastlin' in it.

@MorelOrelHershiser: Yeah, most only offer the two year half nelson.
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J-Animal
01/08/09

@Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner: I tried to get into a school that had a highly-ranked Sharpshooter program, but my grades could only get me in schools offering the Boston Crab.
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Chalkdust
01/08/09

@J-Animal: It's impossible to find a quality Figure Four professor these days.
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