Here’s a free piece of advice should you ever find yourself waiting for the first train to roll into a station after a heavy snowfall: Stand as far away from the tracks as possible, assuming you don’t want to get blasted with a massive shitstorm of snow.
The thing to know is, we are still snowed in. The first flakes came down around lunchtime on Friday; the last, late on Saturday night. It’s Tuesday now, and we’re still snowed in. My kids can’t even remember what it’s like to interact with other humans.
Here’s some Jersey shithead with an illegible sign making an ass out of himself behind the Monmouth Co. sheriff. Hey, dickhead, you’re holding a white sign in the middle of a snowstorm. Nobody can read your fuckin’ sign. If you had a brain in your skull, you’d be inside.
When Mike Trout isn’t mashing home runs or robbing them, he’s at home doing precise meteorological measurements; the self-described “weather geek” wants to be a stormchaser someday, and The Weather Channel’s Jim Cantore had Trout on this morning to report on conditions in his hometown of Millville, N.J.
Man, Dale’s employers at Metal Works of High Point must really hate him.
By now, you are probably aware that the East Coast is about to get murdered with 50 tons of acid methane snow over the weekend. You know this because people who live on the East Coast believe that their weather is EVERYONE’S weather.
You may have heard about a big East Coast blizzard hitting soon. Big storms are like the crimes on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, in that they happen everywhere, but always get more coverage when they happen to New Yorkers.