Well folks, that about wraps it up for me today. Thanks for stopping by.

And of course, thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry Petchesky takes the reins tomorrow to guide you through all of the NFL action. So y'all come back now, ya hear?

I'm fairly confident you don't need me to tell you this, but there is still one whole evening and an entire day left of the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Please do your best to make the most of it. Or don't. It's up to you. I'm easy like Sunday morning, man.

Best ESPN College GameDay Signs (11/28/09) [That Fan]

Corey Clark of the Tallahassee Democrat knew he would ruffle some feathers when he posted a partial transcript of Bowden's postgame remarks after a comeback loss to Clemson; he even apologized in advance. But Bowden's supporters do no one any good by pretending this sort of thing isn't going on.

Bowden: "Both of us made errors. We probably scored on some of their errors — I didn't keep up with it. But we'd turn the ball over and they'd go down and score. Then we'd turn it over and they didn't score. They'd turn it over back. And the game kind of went that way. We felt very comfortable. We knew it was a battle.

"How late was it 24-21 in our favor? How late did it get? Did that get into the fourth quarter?"

Reporter: "Nine and a half minutes left."

Bowden: "Left in the game?"

Reporter: "Yes."

Bowden: "So you're feeling comfortable, but you know that it ain't won yet. Then of course the dam broke."

A few minutes later, Bowden was asked this question by another reporter.

Reporter: "In the second half, when it seemed like momentum started to switch, how hard was it to try to reverse that?"

Bowden: "You mean when they got it (momentum)? Well, actually … you know, they had to kick off to us. We had a what? A three-point ….? Did we have the lead at the half?"

(Reporter nods).

Bowden: "We had a three-point lead at the half, I think. Then they had to kick off to us. We needed to take it down and win the darn game right there. We didn't do it. They stopped us. Then we kicked it to them and then they probably scored."

Reporter: "They went ahead and then you guys came back."

Bowden: "Huh?"

Reporter: "They went ahead and then you guys came back again."

Bowden: "Did we get ahead of them again after that?"

Reporter: "Yeah."

Bowden: "Then we got back ahead, huh? Umm, it was going that way, you know it? I felt very comfortable that if they could score, we could score. That's the way I felt, you know it? We've done it all year. But then we started turning the ball over."

I'm not saying this is any worse than the senior moments we all have from time to time. I'm not saying Seminole backers should be terrified that he'll forget the score, or the down, in the middle of a game. I'm not saying Bowden's too old to be coaching football.

Oh wait. I am saying that.

What Are We To Think Of Bowden's Postgame Comments? [Tallahassee Democrat]

As if it wasn't enough to see a 79-year-old man throw a hissy fit over "only" having the second most wins in history, we get to see him keep up the tantrum all offseason long.

Bowden's got his staff combing through the archives to find a few more wins to keep him from falling too far behind Joe Paterno.

Meanwhile, Bobby is hatching one final trick play. This one involves digging up what he says are 22 victories earned while he was coach at South Georgia Junior College from 1956-58. Asterisk that, NCAA.

"I've got to get put in the grave here one of these days ... " Bowden said. "It don't count to them. It does to me."

If you'll remember, Bowden successfully petitioned the NCAA to accept his 28 wins at Samford. But this is too much. I hate to break it to Bowden that South Georgia probably isn't a BCS school. But come to think of it, Florida State hasn't looked like one lately.

Bowden Looks to Close Legacy With One Final Trick [CBS Sports]

Let's look at what penalties they got from the NCAA:

• Public reprimand and censure. Oh no! Your words sting me like angry bees.

• Four years of probation. This is also meaningless. They simply have to wait two extra years before they can start cheating again.

• Scholarship reductions in 10 sports. This is the only actual sanction. This will hurt the non-football sports more, of course, but the NCAA barely tinkered with the self-imposed sanctions Florida State had already given themselves. The football team recommended a reduction of five scholarships. The NCAA upped it by one. What an iron fist!

• Vacating of victories in which ineligible athletes competed. This sounds very harsh... but is it? First, the NCAA says it's up to FSU to determine which games involved ineligible players and then tell the NCAA later. Second, they will almost certainly appeal this part of the ruling and other schools have won that appeal before.

Third, who gives a crap? The teams that lost those games don't get to claim them as a victory and even if they could, no one would feel good about it. Changing the record book doesn't change the memory of what happened. Michigan "lost" nearly four seasons of wins and two Final Four banners, but that will never stop people from marveling about the Fab Five. It's embarrassing, but that's all. (And the NCAA even waited until FSU was on spring break and National Signing Day was well passed to announce their findings, further lessening the embarrassment.) The worst thing that might happen is that the track team might have to forfeit a National Championship, but no one will ever forget that they really did win it.

• Show-cause orders-ranging from three to five years-on three university employees. Three low-level chumps (academic specialists and a tutor) will take the fall by not being able to work in an athletic department for a few years. No coaches or administrators will be punished.

So what did they do to earn such a "harsh" rebuke? Sixty-one athletes from 10 FSU sports who were taking a history of music classic were given answers to an online test and some had papers written for them. That's not a couple of goofballs helping each other with a project. That's systematic cheating spread across the entire athletic department. They pushed athletes to a ridiculous creampuff class and they still had to cheat in order to pass it.

Yet ... no postseason bans and no coaches will fired or suspended or receive pay cuts. Anyway you look at it, it is a slap on the wrist and yet another reminder that the NCAA is not interested in any serious enforcement of their academic rules. Well, at least not at a big powerful school like Florida State.

Tim Stephens at the Orlando Sentinel explains it best:

Still think it's tough? Just consider that FSU was found guilty of one of the worst academic fraud cases in NCAA history. It involved 61 athletes in 10 sports. It involved, as the NCAA noted and FSU agreed, fraud committed by the employees who were there to preserve the very academic integrity that was defiled. And yet when you look team by team, FSU's scholarship cuts and other sanctions were no worse and were in fact lower than what many teams face for poor performances in the classroom (penalties for a low Academic Progress Rate).

Message: It's worse to recruit players who actually flunk than it is to cheat to help them pass.

In other words, it's a sad joke. Bobby Bowden might lose his shot at the precious wins record, but everyone already knows what he did to get there in the first place.

Florida State's NCAA penalties: It's not so bad, unless you are Bobby Bowden [Orlando Sentinel]
Florida State University gets 4 years' probation in cheating scandal [Miami Herald]
FSU failed to mind itself, NCAA showed its power [Pensacola News Journal]
Florida State sanctions jeopardize Bobby Bowden's wins record [SI]

Today's technological dissertation comes to us from Florida State coach Bobby Bowden, who, shockingly, is a little bewildered by the world of the computing machines. (He's also confused by VCRs, automatic transmissions and the unbridled sexuality of Angie Dickinson.) While explaining the departure of his son Jeff, let go by the Seminoles for his tendency to have no idea what he's doing, Bowden fought the real enemy.

"Because you all ignited it," he said to a small room of reporters. "You listen to eBay and e-mail and all that junk, and you all kept writing about it and that fans it and makes it grow and grow, and it becomes a cancer. That's why."

Listening to the eBay really does cause nothing but trouble; we received a transmission the other day that told us to kill our parents and to buy a copy of Sports Illustrated from 1979 with Bake McBride on the cover. eBay can be very persuasive.

Bobby Bowden Blames eBay For Son's Departure [The Fanhouse]

And, to revisit our theme from yesterday, we were pleased to see Joe Paterno beat Bobby Bowden, if just because it brings him one win closer to that all-time coaching victory record. In case you didn't remember, when Paterno and Bowden were chasing each other for that record, and Paterno was gaining ground, Bowden petitioned the NCAA for his 28 wins at Samford from 1959-62 to be counted towards his Division-I record. His petition was accepted, because Paterno's not the type of guy to fight it, and now he has the record. We really can't stand Bobby Bowden. Sorry. We're just piling on now.

Orange You Glad It's Finally Over [The Sports Blog]
Orange Bowl: A Contrast In Coaches [Deadspin]

Forgive us, however, if we think Bowden benefits more from this comparison than Paterno does. Despite Paterno's occasional accusations of anti-lesbian views, Bowden's history of bringing in athletes of questionable character and rampant megalomania drops him out of JoePa's class, in our opinion. Plus, a reader with "intimate knowledge of the participants" sends us this story:

Philanthropy is apparently not the Bowdens' thing. On a recent Nike cruise (Nike takes all of the college football coaches on a yearly vacation), [Texas coach] Mack Brown and his wife were chatting with the Paternos. Having just signed his new, lucrative contract, Mack was inquiring of the Paternos how they went about deciding how to donate to the university (Penn State's library is named after the Paternos for both their giving and their fundraising efforts). As they explained how they decided which department to donate to, notorious shopper Ann Bowden [Bobby's wife] cut in....."Don't give to the university. We made them, they didn't make us. They don't deserve a penny." I guess she'd rather spend her money filling up their three houses with more expensive junk.

That's enough to make us want to root for Penn State. Though there's always the possibility of Jenn Sterger sideline shots. That's something.

Pairing Of Coaches Makes OB An Instant Classic [Miami Herald]