• Deadspin
  • mlb
  • nfl
  • Profile logout login

#boobsofmyyouth

Deadspin

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #mediameltdowns,
  • #duan,
  • #tips,
  • etc.

New York, 5:06 AM
Sat Dec 12
15 posts in the last 24 hours

Deadspin team

Tip your editors:

Editor:
AJ Daulerio |

Senior Editor:
Dashiell Bennett |

Senior Writer:
Tommy Craggs |

Columnist/Deadcast:
Drew Magary |

Emeritus:
Will Leitch |

Live Blogger:
Matt Sussman |

Comments:
Comment Ninja Squadron |

Weekend writer:
Jack KOGOD |

Intern:
Ben Cohen |

SUBSCRIBE TO Deadspin RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
919 Subscribers
Deadspin
  • posts about #boobsofmyyouth more →

    A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of J-No J-No
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    Christ, this is all true. And it all sucks. I haven't learned anything new in at least 10 years. 10 fucking years. And I can't wait until these little happy bastards have their first 2 day hangover. That's how you know it is over.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of TheStarterWife TheStarterWife
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    I stand by everything I said during last year's Special Balls Deep Message to the Class of 2008.


    [deadspin.com]


    Let this be a life lesson to you kids. No matter how excited your life and job may be, you will do many of the same things over and over and over again. Recycling memos and directives from previous years - fuck sometimes even previous jobs - and you will think to yourself, "Man, it seems like just yesterday I had to do this." But nope. It's been a whole fucking year and you have done very little to change your station or your destiny in that year, even if it seems like you've done a lot... You've actually done squat.


    I'm Drew's age and I've already turned into one of those fucks who says, "Where does the time go?"

     Reply
    TheStarterWife was starred TheStarterWife was unstarred
    Image of 12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich 12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    Having graduated 5 years ago (and again 1 year ago), I know for a fact that half of those bullets are completely correct (and I'm not yet experienced enough/with child to know about the others).


    /FML

     Reply
    12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich was starred 12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    My best memory from my graduation was a fellow graduate sitting about 2 rows behind me throwing up all over himself. Way to make mom and dad proud a-hole.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of bigredgambler bigredgambler
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    I was promised NSFW Inga. I only got smiley faces and Pee Wee's buttcheeks. At least the underside of my desk is safe for another day.
     Reply
    bigredgambler was starred bigredgambler was unstarred
    Image of Drew Magary Drew Magary
    05/14/09

    @bigredgambler: Fixed. You get nips now!
     Reply
    Drew Magary was starred Drew Magary was unstarred
    Image of Mach3_Manscape Mach3_Manscape
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    I hate work, but i can't wait to go because of these fucking Hitler children of mine. So I hate work and I hate being home. Every once in a while the wife has to take the kids somewhere and I get to be home alone. I then get to search for the sweetest porn clips the internet can offer. The mini-masturbation vacation. I live for it now.
     Reply
    Mach3_Manscape was starred Mach3_Manscape was unstarred
    Image of Dany Heatley Speedwagon Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    05/14/09

    @Mach III Manscape: Stop it, you're scaring me!


    /married without kids
    //so far

     Reply
    Dany Heatley Speedwagon was starred Dany Heatley Speedwagon was unstarred
    Image of Dickens_Ghost Dickens_Ghost
    05/29/09

    @Mach III Manscape:


    Always the happiest 15 minutes of my day.

     Reply
    Dickens_Ghost was starred Dickens_Ghost was unstarred
    Image of Gourmet Spud Gourmet Spud
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    If you are 23 and under, that column probably made you feel really bad. If you are 24 or older, it definitely made you feel really good. Like some sort of profanity-laced scotch.
     Reply
    Gourmet Spud was starred Gourmet Spud was unstarred
    Image of greenfield-comma-tim greenfield-comma-tim
    05/14/09

    @Gourmet Spud: I have 1.5 years left. I'm depressed as shit now.
     Reply
    greenfield-comma-tim was starred greenfield-comma-tim was unstarred
    Image of Gourmet Spud Gourmet Spud
    05/14/09

    @greenfield-comma-tim:


    Then what are you doing here? Go out and live, damn you! LIVE!

     Reply
    Gourmet Spud was starred Gourmet Spud was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    05/14/09

    @Gourmet Spud: Or like finding a coupon for Smart Balance! 35 cents motherfucker!!
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of HernandezStache HernandezStache
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    When you do get married/engaged/seriously dating, you'll be forced into oouples dinner. This is when you gf/wife brings her asshole friends and their husbands/bfs to dinner and thinks because you all have dicks, you'll get along. You'll want to commit a table-wide genocide when you realize there are actually guys in this country who don't follow sports at all.
     Reply
    HernandezStache was starred HernandezStache was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    05/14/09

    @Cherokee Parks Was Misunderstood: what I was trying to say is my daughter does the same thing.
     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of Dany Heatley Speedwagon Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    05/14/09

    @HernandezStache: SERIOUSLY... these are the same assholes who talk when you inevitably go downstairs to watch the game. Just shut the fuck up and enjoy the game dude.
     Reply
    Dany Heatley Speedwagon was starred Dany Heatley Speedwagon was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    05/14/09

    @HernandezStache: I worked on Broadway for a long time. To some of these male dancers, it is like football season doesn't even exist!
     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of VTBen VTBen
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    Also, don't have just one kid. Only children think they're such hot shit since they've never had an older/younger sibling to compete with.


    Oh shit I'm graduating this month! I'm part of the class of 2009! I'm fucked!

     Reply
    VTBen was starred VTBen was unstarred
    Image of Len Bias Cocaine Surplus Len Bias Cocaine Surplus
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    I still have 2 days left of fun life...
     Reply
    Len Bias Cocaine Surplus was starred Len Bias Cocaine Surplus was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    College grads don't deserve to be feted by celebrities, or honored, or lifted up with inspiring words.


    Unless, of course, you were forced to spend your college years in Pennsylvania. Then you deserve the Presidents Medal of fucking Courage.


    /Hey, a casino in Bethlehem! Maybe the white flight will finally stop!

     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of Quake 'n' Shake Quake 'n' Shake
    05/14/09

    @MarkKelsosMigraine: Boo-hoo. Nobody put a gun to your head.
    I spent mine in rural Upstate NY.... You were in San f--king Diego compared to me. You don't see me bitching about it....


    Wait, I do. All the time. Carry on then.

     Reply
    Quake 'n' Shake was starred Quake 'n' Shake was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    05/14/09

    @Quake 'n' Shake: rural Upstate NY is almost redundant


    /Capital District represent

     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of MarkKelsosMigraine MarkKelsosMigraine
    05/14/09

    @Quake 'n' Shake:


    NYC > Philly (sorry AJ)


    Adirondacks > Poconos


    Binghamton > Allentown


    Wings > Soft Pretzels


    NYS > PA

     Reply
    MarkKelsosMigraine was starred MarkKelsosMigraine was unstarred
    Image of UpstateUnderdog UpstateUnderdog
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    "Not only does my kid come storming into the room at 6AM, but she screams WAKE UP at the top of her lungs every damn time."


    Drew, It's as if you were in my bedroom this morning.


    Great speech Drew, lofty speech.

     Reply
    UpstateUnderdog was starred UpstateUnderdog was unstarred
    Image of ClueHeywood ClueHeywood
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    Also, when you get older, one of the few joys in your life will be spending most of your workday making dick jokes on sports blogs for a collection of idiots.


    /dick joke.

     Reply
    ClueHeywood was starred ClueHeywood was unstarred
    Image of Dany Heatley Speedwagon Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    05/14/09

    @ClueHeywood: By "collection of idiots" I assume you mean everyone else here but me?
     Reply
    Dany Heatley Speedwagon was starred Dany Heatley Speedwagon was unstarred
    Image of ClueHeywood ClueHeywood
    05/14/09

    @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Apologies, but it's all inclusive. I include myself in said collection of idiots, because I use my 21 years of formal education to make dick jokes. And I love nothing more.
     Reply
    ClueHeywood was starred ClueHeywood was unstarred
    Image of Dany Heatley Speedwagon Dany Heatley Speedwagon
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    The man speaks the truth. Listen the fuck up kiddies. And he's right... weekends do suck and why can't I just stay home and drink my own damn beer?


    I would have added something about your metabolism slows the fuck down and how you will put on weight like never before but I think you just left that out because from what I gathered you've always been a glutton Drew.

     Reply
    Dany Heatley Speedwagon was starred Dany Heatley Speedwagon was unstarred
    Image of Drew Magary Drew Magary
    05/14/09

    @Dany Heatley Speedwagon: Yup. I was gonna put in a "You're gonna get fat" section. But then half the comments would have rightly said "Gonna, Drew?"
     Reply
    Drew Magary was starred Drew Magary was unstarred
    Image of Peter Cavan Peter Cavan
    05/14/09

    In reply to A Special Balls Deep Message To The Class Of 2009
    This man speaks the truth. I have lived more than half of these experiences since I graduated college. I am now horribly, horribly depressed.


    Also, I'm stuck in a boring meeting. I dream of a new, interesting career that I will never have.

     Reply
    Peter Cavan was starred Peter Cavan was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Deadspin account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.