•Rodney Harrison answers T.O.'s "you took steroids" with "at least I won a championship." Guys, guys, let's not fight. Can't we all agree that Harrison was on a championship team because he took steroids?

•A judge refused to dismiss the lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger, probably because, like us, he's enjoying the assorted insane details about the plaintiff that seem to emerge fortnightly.

•The good: the Phillies clinch the NL East, calling on Brad Lidge to finish the ninth. With two outs already on the board. And a seven run lead. Yup, this ship looks seaworthy heading into October.

•The bad: Jamie Moyer is done for the year after suffering three torn tendons. He's still under contract for next year for $8 million, but who could have seen this coming when they gave a 46-year-old a multi-year deal?

•Michael Vick signs an endorsement deal with Nike, shocking the country. Not because of the dog thing, we're over that. We're shocked because Vick has done fuck-all for his team, and looks to maintain that pace. (UPDATE: "Lies!" says Nike.)

•Stafon Johnson is resting after surgery, and even thanked fans for their support on his Twitter. Oh good, who needs intact vocal chords when you've got Twitter?

•Mats Sundin calls it a 20-year-career. Normally this is where I'd throw in a joke, but come on hockey fans, I wrote two posts for you tonight. Two! That should be enough for you this week.

•Front row seat? Check. Glove, even though you're too old for that? Check. Shit-eating grin? Check. Yes, the Happy Youngster caught another HR ball, this time off the bat of Prince Fielder.

•I will make this a meme if it kills me. Keeping the spirit alive, here's an acoustic cover of Colby Rasmus Fire Burning In The Outfield:

Charlie Manuel had this to say after Brad Lidge blew his league-leading 11th save last night:

He was our closer last year and we signed him to be our closer now," Manuel said. "He's struggling. But at the same time, it's hard for us to close the game out. It's tough. It's kind of what we've got. I've got confidence in him. I keep sending him back out there and hopefully he does the job. That's about all I can say. I pull for him every time he goes out there, believe me. I guarantee you that."

Maybe Manuel should get a load of this video, which has been making the rounds today. (See here and here.)

One lonely Phillies fan, no doubt consumed by the desire to speak for an entire fan base — nay, the entire human race — turned his video camera on the television for the closing moments of Lidge's latest meltdown. It's easy to laugh at his play-by-play, but you'll recognize a piece of yourself.

After Walk-Off Loss, Lidge To Remain Closer [MLB.com]
Brad Lidge Enters Ray Finkle Status Following Emergence of Volunteer Play-By-Play Guy [The Sports Hernia]
It's Funny Because This Phillies Fan is Just Like the Rest of Us [The 700 Level]

•Backtracking from earlier comments, Dana White says Kimbo Slice will fight in UFC, whether or not he comes out on top in their reality show. Wonder what changed his mind. *cough*doubledTheUltimateFighter'sratings*cough*

•Milton Bradley apologized for his behavior throughout the year, which led to an in-house suspension and likely the end of his time with the Cubs. But who would trade for him? Even Terrell Owens gives you one drama-free year before melting down.

•Pete Carroll says Matt Barkley will start Saturday, despite a bruised shoulder. After last weekend, I think his arm could fall off and he'd still be their best option behind center.

•Bobby Cox says he'll managed the Braves for one more season, then he's done. If he doesn't go out with an ejection, I'll be sorely disappointed.

•Stuttgart keeper Jens Lehmann was dropped from the lineup for popping in on Oktoberfest after a game. Punishing a German for going to Oktoberfest? That's a bigger insult to cultural pride than naming a team the Redskins.

•It's a shame the season's nearing an end; I was hoping to see if Brad Lidge could finish with more blown saves than successful ones. He blew number 11 last night (and raised his ERA to 7.48!) as Phillies fans shit themselves thinking about the 2007 Mets.

•Finally, this is being billed as the world's longest basketball shot. The fact that most of that distance is provided by gravity only slightly takes away from the hype.

•Sean Haire, who for some reason went by "Sean O'Haire" while wrestling in WCW, was booked for allegedly hitting and choking his girlfriend. Because he's dating a non-Tila Tequila woman, this is not OK.

•Tim Lincecum misses a start with muscle spasms. The Giants had better hope it's not serious, or they run the risk of getting walloped by the Cardinals in three games instead of four.

•With a court ruling still pending, the NFL says the Vikings' Williamses can play in week one regardless. Keep in mind they tested positive for a banned substance more than nine months ago. And the league claims to have the toughest steroid policy in sports?

•We're reaching serious WTF territory here. Ben Roethlisberger's accuser says she'll drop the lawsuit if Big Ben admits he raped her. I'm no legal expert, but copping to a crime can't help his chances in any future criminal proceedings. Also, she's nuts and has no case.

•Michael Jordan picks David Thompson to introduce him at the Hall of Fame ceremony. Between Jordan, fellow inductee David Robinson, and presenters Isiah Thomas and Larry Brown, apparently it's ruin-the-Knicks'-shit day in Springfield.

•Well, it finally happened. Brad Lidge got yanked after loading the bases in the ninth, perhaps ending his tenure as closer in Philadelphia. Would it be hyping up Albert Pujols legend too much to blame his 2005 home run for Lidge's collapse? Well I'm doing it anyway.

•Nashville Predators part-owner William "Boots" Del Biaggio was sentenced to eight years in prison for bilking investors out of hundreds of millions. The lesson, as always, is don't accept a check from someone nicknamed "Boots."

•Emeritus is trying something a little radical over at New York Magazine. Will Leitch...writing a blog...about sports. Hmmm. Sounds crazy, but what do I know?

•Finally, Ron Artest reaches out to Stephon Marbury, through the magic of Celine:

We didn't get to pay much tribute yesterday to Brad Lidge losing his closer's job already, but hey, it's never too late to show that video from the 2005 NLCS. It's OK to toss this in, it's not rubbing it in, because the Astros won that series. Right?

We appreciated The Dugout's recent take on Lidge, and even this recent YouTube ode to Lidge. Our favorite part about the Lidge saga is that everyone always insists, no, he's fine, really. Just has some bugs to work out. Totally.

Brad Lidge's Visit With His Shrink [The Big Picture]
Brad Lidge Takes A Well-Deserved Digger [The Fanhouse]
The Saga Of Brad Lidge [YouTube]

Which is why, as joyous as we found last night's latest psychological pillaging of Brad Lidge by Albert Pujols, we almost felt bad. Before Pujols' homer in the National League Championship Series last year, Lidge was as automatic a reliever as Mariano Rivera; he was terrifying to even watch. This year? ERA nearing 5.00, sad lost look on his face, general emotional breakdown. It's not like he doesn't still throw hard or anything; something just seems to be gone.

It's scary, because you see it happen to someone like Lidge, and you wonder if it can happen to anyone. It almost makes you want to turn away, because it's so gruesome. Though, of course, we didn't.

If Albert Were A Regular Citizen ... [Get Up, Baby!]

You know what? Turns out it was veggie pizza. From Brad Lidge's "Diary Of Dining Delights:"

This was another bad meal in a series of them. I haven t had a truly satisfying lunch in at least a week. Even my soda ($2.95) was lousy. That soda was flatter than a hanging slider on a two-strike count.
The Taste in My Mouth: Schwag.

Brad Lidge's "Diary Of Dining Delights" [Yard Work]
Tim McCarver's Buckner Moment [Deadspin]

We're wondering what's the worst mistake a broadcaster could make in a postseason situation like that, a Buckner Moment. Could you do worse than McCarver's gaffe? The best we could come up with this morning was, say, Buck announcing Keith Foulke's final out last season by accidentally saying, "And the NEW YORK YANKEES have won the World Series!" Save John Madden throwing down his headset and yelling, "I hate this bullshit, honestly, I always have," that's about the only thing to top McCarver last evening.

Other World Series tidbits:

• We know the umpiring has been suspect this series, but, honestly, calls that aren't even that "controversial" are being blown up into another Denkinger moment. (For the record, there will never be another Denkinger moment, because God loves the world too much.) That pitch where Jermaine Dye was hit (or wasn't) last night was a call that was impossible for the naked eye to see. You could barely tell from the replay. But Buck acted like the umps had been paid off or something.
• Yes, yes, Podsednik is dating Playmate Lisa Dergan. We hate our lives enough already, thank you, please stop bringing this up.
• Is it just me, or were agents actually chasing soon-to-be-free-agent Paul Konerko around the bases after he hit that grand slam?
• We're always hesitant to call a team "lucky." Every game, every moment, has luck in it. But boy, haven't things lined up for the White Sox perfectly, like, all year?

Yep. Presumedly gay-skewing Web site The Bulge Report — which appears to have a bunch of pictures of celebrities with an outline of their package through their clothes — has released the list of the 100 baseball players with the most impressive dimensions, as reported by media, lockroom attendants, scouts, teammates, so on. It's subscription only, so, you know, if you're into that type of thing.

Thankfully (or not, whatever), we know someone like that, who forwarded us the list. They haven't posted the top 10 yet, but we have a few excerpts, including from our man Lidge.

No. 11: Brad Lidge. very hung; damn near 9" soft
No. 17: Chris Young. Very thick & uncut; huge & long like Jeff Francis, but not quite as big.
No. 13: Mark Prior. So hung he has a specially constructed jockstrap that allows his cock to point upwards to not get in the way of his windup.

So, there you have it. Best part about that Prior post? The source for that is listed as "agent." Man, we need that agent!

Bulge Report (Not Safe For Work, by the way. But you probably guessed that.)