Quinn, denying all:

"At no time that night was I involved in a verbal or physical altercation, nor did I have any interaction with the police," Quinn said in the statement. "I want to be clear that I did not engage in any of the alleged conduct, nor did I make inappropriate comments to anyone. Any allegations to the contrary are either untrue or the result of misidentification."

But ...

However, Columbus police said when they arrived Quinn was arguing with 32-year-old Jason Thompson.

Oops. Looks like another congressional hearing on the horizon. I hope they get to the bottom of this; I'm sure we all have questions. Like, who spends New Year's Eve in Columbus, Ohio?

Brady Quinn Denies Altercation, Hurling Anti-Gay Slur [USA Today]
Brady Quinn Attacks His Only Fans Left [Deadspin]

Apparently, Quinn ended up outside a gay bar, where he tried to start a fight and began firing off the slurs.

On the 9-1-1 call, Harris said that "Brady Quinn from the Browns" was "trying to cause a fight." Harris told the operator, "I just walked outside and he exchanged many profanities with me and called me a faggot, of course."

Reached Monday by The Plain Dealer, Harris confirmed that Quinn was the person who used the slur. "I knew who it was," he said. "It wasn't just directed at me, there were other people around, too."

Considering Quinn's fanbase — that is to say, at this point, his only fans — is largely gay men, we are not sure this was the wisest move to make. Of course, because Quinn is a human being, it's also discouraging to see Quinn act like such a dick. We knew he was a dope ... but we wouldn't have suspected gathering with a gaggle of friends for some gay-taunting.

Of course, considering most of the photos of Quinn that have popped up, perhaps it's just an involved, complicated mating dance.

Brady Quinn Part Of Rowdy Group Outside Columbus Bar, Witness Says [Clevescene]

It all happens after the jump ...

Quinn could be sitting behind Anderson for a while now, which is fitting, since "sitting" is pretty much all he did all day during the NFL Draft. And it's looking like Quinn's contract holdout this year could be a historically awful decision.

Had Brady Quinn not held out and, instead, shown up at training camp on time, he (by all accounts) would have at least secured the backup role behind incumbent starter Charlie Frye. Because of the money owed to Quinn, the Browns surely would have let Anderson go and put their new golden boy in the backup role. Then, when they traded Frye after week one, Quinn would have been ideally placed to take over as the starter. Instead, he held out and while his agent haggled over escalator clauses and what amounted to about a $500,000 difference, Brady sat in Arizona and missed valuable time in which he could have been learning the offense.

Fortunately ... the man can dance. Kind of.

Brady Quinn Continues To Wait [Rumors And Rants]

Should be a fun one.

No. 2 Seed Kige Ramsey
Carried around every book he ever owned in a belt.
Visited Wal-Mart.
Actively did some campaigning.
Expanded his commercial techniques.
Enjoyed Halloween.

No. 7 Seed: Brady Quinn
Sat in a crowded room, then left.
Grabbed some underage crotch.
Went all dance party marathon on us.
Rocked out.

So, who's on the way to Final Four?

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It's No. 7 seed Brady Quinn against No. 10 seed Alex Rodriguez. We don't know if these two are friends, but maybe they should be: They probably would have a lot to talk about.

No. 7 Seed: Brady Quinn
Sat in a crowded room, then left.
Grabbed some underage crotch.
Went all dance party marathon on us.
Rocked out.

No. 10 Seed: Alex Rodriguez
"Wrote" a children's book.
Dug deep.
Made friends with "she-male, muscular types."
Opted out while we were occupied with other matters.
Changed his mind. Maybe.

So, who's gonna make the Elite Eight? Vote below.

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Gillette wants you to come hang out with Brady Quinn in New York.

Four lucky people can win a meeting with the hottest man in the NFL in New York as part of a Gillette promotion with Facebook.

Fans need to upload photos or videos of themselves with their "game face," which I assume to mean how fans get ready to watch their favorite games. Quinn helpfully outlines the rules in a short video on the Gillette site; there's also a behind-the-scenes video that shows him getting makeup applied and looking all lathered up. The contest ends Dec. 3, and the winner gets to take three people to meet Quinn in New York.

You can upload your videos here. If enough of us submit videos, dammit, someone from this odd Deadspin planet has to win, right?

Win Face Time With Brady Quinn [OutSports]

Well, he's making some bad bets with Rodney Peete. (Oh, hey, look: Rodney Peete!) Apparently Brady, quite wisely, wagered that Notre Dame would beat USC last weekend. Smart! His penance: Wearing a USC jersey. As usual, Brady's just worried about his smooth, smooth skin.

So, for the day's interview, the Browns QB pulled the #10 cardinal-and-gold item out of his locker, and slipped it on. But Brady did come prepared: "That's why I've got extra layers on, so it doesn't actually touch any part of my body.

So does this mean he always makes bets with former NFL quarterbacks? If so, the above picture is easily explained by a failed bet with Kordell Stewart.

Brady Quinn Wears USC Jersey After Losing Bet [Sports By Brooks]

It's rookie hazing.

"Just an involuntary haircut," Quinn said, referring to rookie hazing. "I don't know if it's ever been this short."

"Involuntary." We hope no pictures of the actual shaving surface, lest we see Brady giggling while Bret Michaels stands in the corner and weeps.

(Oh, and Hall of Fame voting will be discussed tomorrow.)

The most famous, of course, is the one from AJ Hawk's wedding, but he also grabs the eye when hanging out with Bret Michaels, grabbing the packages of children or just glamming up for photo shoots.

Potential? Brady Quinn's already there.

But is he a Hall of Famer? Seventy five percent is the threshold for induction. Vote below: Polls will be open until next Monday morning.

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Five years ago, there was a story on Jim Romenesko's Media News about a reporter named Patti Shea, who caused an enormous uproar in the world of stuffy journalism for an article she wrote for the Santa Clarita Signal about spending a day in the Los Angeles Dodgers locker room as a credentialed sports reporter. Shea decided to have a little fun with the assignment and went into ga-ga mode describing the various attributes of then Dodgers Eric Karros and Shawn Green, brazenly kicking journalistic mores out the window and, possibly, not doing so much for California female sports writers' locker room accessibility. Remember, at the time Romenesko's Media News was one of the only — and arguably, most popular — media websites at the time, heavily read by thousands of working journalists worldwide who worshiped it and reveled in having their heavy-handed, inverted-pyramid soaked letters published on this site.

Of course, they attacked Shea and her paper mercilessly, calling them an "embarrassment" and "pathetic" for the piece. And, Shea, for a couple days in late August 2002 was probably one of the most talked about reporters in the world.

Now, during this time in 2002, I was diddling at a dull trade publication, bored at work, obsessively checked Jim Romenesko's Media News. And having a letter published and critiqued by a lofty group of self-important journos was very important to me at the time. But, my body of work consisted of having a story published in Chicken Soup for the Golfer's Soul, Montgomery County Weekly newspapers and being managing editor of "Health Care Finance" magazine, which left me no chance of ever writing something worthy of a Romenesko link or letter, for that matter. But this day, this story, was one that I knew I could chime in on — and completely undermine. I conjured up a made-up gay journalist named "John Defla" who worked as a sports reporter for a small, ahem, St. Louis daily newspaper and sent in my letter and ... it was posted.

"As a gay journalist, admittedly, I have some trouble keeping my eyes in my notebook when I'm interviewing athletes in their jocks and small white towels. I've never put it in print how so-and-so looks soaking wet out of the shower, but believe me I do take notice. Ms. Shea's a human being in addition to being a journalist. So, for her to get a little flush was not a surprise—especially next to hunky Shawn Green, who I myself have a photo of in my bedroom. So, call off the dogs. There are plenty of sports journalists who ogle the naked athletes. It's one of my favorite perks of the job."

Now, this letter prompted a flurry of responses as well (mostly negative), making for one of the most enjoyable afternoons of 2002. One person who e-mailed me was a person named "Troy" who told me he "would kill" for my job because he fantasizes about players all the time. Then he breathlessly asked if I'd ever seen Brady Andersen or Gabe Kapler nude. I responded, of course:

Yeah, I've seen Brady. He's not that cute in person. Plus he has very weird hair patterns on his lower back. It's a half ring of very dark, very bushy hair that's inconsistent with the rest of his body. It's
almost simian-like. I'm glad he got cut by the Indians. He was a joke anyway. But, Gabe, good God, is he fucking hot. His thighs are so muscular. Everytime he takes a step you can see the quads tremble beneath the skin. It reminds me of the way baby alligators release from their birthing shells. Quick little pops against the skin. Mmmmm...

Who do you like, Troy?

This went on for hours, and regardless of how ridiculous my stories were — towel-snapping fights with Antonio Alfonseca; Indian wrestling with the Boone brothers — Troy ate it up.

The reason this story came to mind: The extremely homoerotic pictorial/wordage in the recent issue of Men's Health about Cleveland Brown's quarterback Brady Quinn. (Not surprisingly, this article is in MH, whose editor Dave Zinczenko, is himself about two more crunches and a man purse away from being Kathy Griffin's full-time assistant.) Sports by Brooks then linked to a Google search proclaiming Brady Quinn the next gay blog obsession. If only I still e-mailed with Troy. He could probably help me out with this column.

So, this week, I'm polishing up my moose knuckles, greasing up the glory hole and placing odds on the next athlete to be drooled over by the momers.

Rainbows! Cock! Jump!

C.J. Wilson, Texas Rangers: 4/1

Did anybody else know that the Texas Rangers, collectively as a team, are regarded by one columnist as the "hottest" team in baseball? It makes sense: Michael Young, Ian Kinsler, Mark Teixera ... Akinori Otsuka. STUDLY. However, C.J. Wilson's redneck dipshit routine is probably most appealing to homosexual nation. Problem is, if C.J. ever found out he'd probably go all Jenny Jones Show on one of his admiring male fans.

Tiago Splitter: 5/1

Although basketball players rarely get the Marky Mark treatment from gay sports fans, there are a few exceptions. Call it the Szczerbiak Rule. And Brazillian hoopster Tiago Splitter is best representative of that in this year's upcoming draft. Long, lanky, blonde hair, and European in all the right places (puke), Tiago's destined to be the shower fantasy of some gay sports fan the minute his draft profile pops up on the screen. If Tiago's agent is smart, he should parlay his popularity into a lucrative sponsorship contract with a flavored hand soap company.

"Hot Saw" Harry Burnsworth: 10/1

It's amazing that the Great Outdoor Games haven't caught on with the gays. Especially gays who enjoy brutish, hairy men throwing around axes and lumber and tossing dogs in the water or whatever else it is they do at these events. If there's one man who could turn some heads, it's probably "Hot Saw" Harry Burnsworth, who's got the gym teacher looks to go along with a nickname that launched 1,000 chubs, "Hot Saw." Say it again:"Hot Saw Harry Burnsworth". Now, who wants a hand job?

Sebastien Gacond: 1/8

Obviously, you'll be paying a lot for Mr. Gacond because the man is already gay. Sebastien Gacond is so gay he uses Astro Glide to water his pansies. Sebastien Gacond has a pet gerbil named "Dildo." Sebastien Gacond is so gay he puts on a cucumber mask before he blows a guy. Sebastien Gacond is so gay he poops dick on a daily basis. See? Gay as rain.

"Yeah, that was just a bad decision on the photographers we chose,. It's been an issue a little bit. We had no idea what happened. Some photos got put up without our permission. I just feel bad for Brady and other people that were at the wedding, because it was just something that the D.J. had set up, I don't know, some 'Village People' thing that they did, and some pictures got out and it's tough. I guess you've got to watch every single thing you do because everything's public now."

We're not sure when in A.J. Hawk's life everything wasn't public — including wedding pictures distributed online — but whichever. We think the world is a better place with this picture of Brady Quinn being passed around. We suspect even Brady would agree.

AJ Hawk Upset About Wedding Photos Featuring Brady Quinn Being Featured Online [Sports By Brooks]
Brady Quinn, Always With The Hetero Photos [Deadspin]

Last March, Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk married Laura Quinn, whom you might remember as the double-jerseyed sister of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn.

Well, the esteemed wedding shooters at Harcar Photography have posted a few shots of the wedding online. We think it's safe to say the wedding was black tie optional.

Harcar Photography [Official Site]
Brady Quinn Is Making Friends [Deadspin]

I felt like he could have presented himself in a much more professional manner. It looked like his tie was the first time he ever tried to tie one. It looked like his hair, he had just walked out of a shower, and he stands there, relieved as all get-out, chewing gum. And to me, that's not a professional image.

Anyway, Brady Quinn took it to heart ... and cut his hair before showing up to Browns minicamp. I personally don't feel like the length of his hair will be much of a deciding factor in how good he turns out to be. Listening to Joe Theismann, though ... that can't be a positive indicator.

Also:

Already under fire [News-Herald.com]
Brady Quinn Cuts Hair to Appease Joe Theismann [NFL FanHouse]
All eyes on Quinn [SI.com]

We're not sure what's going on with this photo, which appears to be of the newest Cleveland Brown Brady Quinn — sans more hair and gallons of pomade — and, frankly, we don't want to.

Very ... Odd ... Brady Quinn Pics [WeAreSC]
Uh, What The F—k? [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Some thoughts on an NFL Draft just passed.

• The NFL Network's coverage — we were fortunate enough to be outside New York City, where we could actually watch the network — was infinitely superior to the ESPN coverage. Frankly, it wasn't even close; the little "Team Needs" graphic at the bottom of the screen was oddly mesmerizing.

• That said, had we not watched ESPN's telecast, we would have never had the opportunity to stare, mouth agape, at whatever the hell has happened to Steve Young's face.

• Fortunately, Berman still had some fun.

• We received a pained text message from our man Mr. Daulerio after the Eagles traded up to pick that obscure quarterback in the second round. ("Reid has gotten into his son's heroin!") Eagles fans seem confused, but that's nothing new.

• Sadly, Lucious Pusey was not drafted.

Sticking with the Brady Quinn theme for a second (I can't help it, he's just so damned handsome), that's a Dolphins fan reacting to the Fish not selecting Brady Quinn yesterday. It's nothing personal, of course, Tedy Ginn.

On the other hand, that guy's wearing a Daunte Culpepper jersey ... his judgment might not be the sharpest in the world.

Miami Dolphin's Draft Day 2007 [YouTube]

So here's how I come up with the number. At the No. 3 pick, I project Cleveland would have signed Quinn to a six-year deal worth as much as $60 million, about $27 million of which would be guaranteed — that includes the quarterback premium. At No. 22, Quinn will sign a six-year deal closer to $30 million, with $10 million guaranteed. That's a $17 million loss.

Okay, so he can probably still afford a fleet of Hummers ... and a small Iraqi oil refinery to keep them gassed up. But he does still have to live in Cleveland. Ha!

The $17 Million Slide & Draft Day Notes [CNBC]

Rumor has it that Brady Quinn disappears in big games. I scouted the USC game and sure enough, he completely vanished! He waved his arms and - poof - he was gone like Endora from Bewitched. I thought Peter Jackson edited the game film. The disappearing act had a lot of scouts worried, as you can tell by Quinn's anchor impersonation today.

At Football Outsiders, we aren't worried. Our film study suggests that his flaws are correctable. Our Quarterback Projection System indicates that Quinn is going to be a very good player. By 2008 or 2009, the Browns will have a Carson Palmer-caliber performer on their hands. Phil Savage suddenly looks like a genius: he got (yes, I'll say it) the best offensive tackle AND the best quarterback on the board. Rejoice, Browns fans: no more peashooter Frye!

Oh, and shout-out to Deadspin reader Longsnapper Jones who noted that Quinn looks like he should be singing for My Chemical Romance. It's still nothing compared to Jon Kitna's eerie Smashing Pumpkins look.

Okay, now I'm really leaving. Peace out.

The interview was conducted by former Out editor-in-chief Brendan Lemon, best known for being the guy who claimed to be dating a famous closeted baseball player, and photographed by Bruce Weber, not the basketball coach, but this guy. This got us to thinking: Was Brady Quinn aware of the gay bonafides of his interviewer and photographer? (Other than a general suspicion, since, uh, it's Interview.)

That's not meant to be provocative; it's just that this is sports, and if anything scares an athlete, it's gay people. (Oh, and paternity suits.) Lemon and Weber are experienced professionals, don't get us wrong, but we doubt it's a coincidence that Quinn's pictures look like he they might be used for currency in a Chelsea bathhouse. So did Quinn know, or was he just surprised by how gay the whole thing turned out? Because if he knew what he was getting into, that makes Brady Quinn, in our book, a pretty cool guy. And if he didn't ... well, that's just hysterical.

Brady Quinn: College Football's Current Pinup [Towleroad]

Chuck Norris is at the Texas game promoting the "World Combat League." - Tom Fornelli

Vandy's head coach looks like a more-in-shape Burt Bacharach. - Brandon Picchierri

Vandy's QB is holding on to his balls too much. - Ronnie P

Chris Speilman on teaching kids how to catch: "You take a football, and you start firin' that ball at the kids' heads, in their faces, their hands come up and they learn to catch a ball with their hands." - Hoya01

Chad Henne's parents dared him to get a tattoo in 8th grade, so he did. That's ... healthy parenting. - derekjw203

Can somebody please tell me if the Florida State/Miami is going to be nationally televised? If only ESPN would tell us... - j.p.

Grambling State has a Mystikal song in the background of their promotional school commercial. - Danks

Idaho: The only major college football played in the state of Idaho that's not on a blue field. - William

The color analyst in the Grambling/Hampton game (I don't know who it is) compared the spread offense to the Northwestern offense and the departed Randy "Williams." No effort to correct it. Nice job, nameless announcer. - GrudensBrother

Update: The analyst in Brian Kinchen, an LSU grad who caught 55 passes for the Ravens in 1996. The LSU part may explain it all. - GrudensBrother

Steve Breaston still plays for Michigan? Holy shit. Does he have his law degree yet? - big daddy drew

Sign seen on ABC's pregame: "Brady Quinn plays the skin flute." - Matt from Ohio

• The Vanderbilt player mentioned most often in this game against Michigan? Jay Cutler.

• Just watching the College Game Day crew live and direct from Georgia Tech and among many signs talking about Brady Quinn's sister in the background, one stood out. "Brady Quinn's sister loves the D." - PostmanR

• Mikey Henderson of UGA runs Western Kentucky' first punt back, only to drop the ball on the 2 yard line and then recover said ball out of the back of the endzone, resulting in a touchback. Western Kentucky's second punt? Mikey Henderson runs that one back too. The second time he held on. - Hyatt

• "The Post Jay Cutler Era" ... are you allowed to call anything related to Vanderbilt Football an era? - Critical Fanatic

• Sean Mcdonough just said Vandy is hoping their new QB can be "phat." - Tom Fornelli

• I hope you're seeing how well dressed the Grambling Coach is. He's putting Pat Riley to shame. - LoneStar

• Hampton Pirates kicker Andrew Paterini took an interesting way to go to Hampton U. He was looking for a school with a good architecture program and thought that Hampton U was in the Hamptons on Long Island. When he took his trip to the school, he fell in love with the architecture program and is now a senior kicker. By the way, he's the only white player I have seen so far. - beisbolct

So why, then, did the couple hasten to shotgun a recital of vows yesterday afternoon in the Green Bay downtown law offices of Liebmann, Conway, Olejniczak & Jerry? Doesn't that seem a bit unusual? No family or friends were there either.

Hmm. Doing some math ... August ... September ... October ... March ... that's about, oh, eight months. Hmm.

Former OSU Linebacker A.J. Hawk Gets Hitched [Dayton Daily News]

(UPDATE: A source closer to this situation than we are — that is to say, a source who occasionally leaves his/her apartment — says it's not a slip-past-the-goalie situation. "it's simply to facilitate a better financial situation by allowing Laura to be insured and have the rest of her education paid for by the NFL when AJ signs his contract."

OK, that makes sense.)

We're gonna assume this person wasn't in Laura's section.

Laura Quinn Gives Us A Fiesta Of Pain [Deadspin]

Laura Quinn Is ... Um ... [NFL Spam]

By the way, we know we mentioned this earlier, but if you haven't watched that Reggie Bush high school video yet, you're completely missing out. You know that shoe commercial where Tracy McGrady grows wings and hits a last-second shot? It's like that, and he even has the wings, we think.

Vince Young Heisman T-Shirt [Dick's Sporting Goods]
Why Wait Til December 10th [TrojanWire]