Damn, Millennials, Pizza Hut Thinks You're Super Boring

Much of the content of this Washington Post report on the diverging fortunes of delivery pizza giants Domino's and Pizza Hut—the former is thriving, the latter not s'much—passes harmlessly overhead, as remote and incomprehensible as solar wind washing harmlessly over the Earth's magnetic field. Domino's has a… » 10/16/14 1:43pm 10/16/14 1:43pm

Another Brand™ Is Mildly Angry At The NFL

The NFL has a domestic violence problem, and the Brands™ are concerned. Maybe not as concerned as the dumb apologizing pizza, but they want you, Brand™ consumer, to know that they care. The latest Brand™ and NFL sponsor to join the parade of concern is Pepsi, whose CEO Indra Nooyi released a statement tonight. The » 9/17/14 10:09pm 9/17/14 10:09pm

Is Glenn Greenwald Still "Red-Hot"? The Politico Investigates

Politico Magazine is a magazine edition of The Politico—America's worst publication—whose mission is "to pull back from the flood to understand what it's all about." The flood, in that metaphor, is supposed to be the tremendous churning hourly volume of vacuous meta- and meta-meta-political Narrative and Controversy… » 9/05/14 7:48am 9/05/14 7:48am

There Are No Giraffes In Ghana, Delta

The Delta brand tweeted this image out after USMNT won a crazy game against Ghana, which you may know is located in Africa, the second-largest continent in the world. It's a big place with elephants, zebras, Oscar Pistorius, and 53 other countries. And, yes, Africa has giraffes. You just won't find them in Ghana. » 6/16/14 10:07pm 6/16/14 10:07pm

ESPN's Darren Rovell Now Just Straight-Out Rewriting Press Releases

Everyone gets what posthuman ESPN sports business reporter Darren Rovell is all about by now. He passes on useless trivia, acts like a cock on Twitter, reminds us that the world is a dark, sad, and terrifying place, and serves as a pure conduit for any business looking to pass on a brand message to ESPN readers. You… » 5/28/14 3:41pm 5/28/14 3:41pm

CNN Asks How Recent Anti-Semitic Shootings Affect The KKK's Brand

When CNN wrote the worst Kurt Cobain lede ever, we figured that they had done something on which they couldn't improve. Here, though, is a long article ("Can This KKK Leader Rebrand?") from the once-respected news organization suggesting that the true victims of the recent Overland Park shootings may actually have… » 4/21/14 11:50am 4/21/14 11:50am

How One Woman Won A Second Straight Trip To The Final Four

On Thursday, Burger King announced @letsgolakers086 as the winner of an all-expenses paid trip to this year's Final Four. It would be the highlight of a lifetime for many people, but it's just another March for this Los Angeles woman. After all, Wheat Thins sent her to the Final Four just last year. » 3/24/14 11:33am 3/24/14 11:33am