Have you noticed anything odd going on this morning? Oh yes. Let us be the first to tell you that the time to panic is upon us.
Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended from Top Gear by the BBC following an alleged dispute with a producer. The show will not be broadcast this Sunday, and it puts the future of the hugely popular series in doubt. UPDATED
Add another three-week-old update on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's unheralded appearance at the Bonnaroo music festival earlier this month: he was reading a book called Chess Tactics for Champions while waiting for his panel.
Seven Green Bay Packers were found at a rented condo where two women told police they were assaulted on Saturday morning. Six of the players were cleared, but one unnamed player is still under investigation.
The Mariners have finally informed Ken Griffey Jr. that he retired from baseball nine months ago. Your lamentations of lost youth just excused themselves to send a wistful email to your yearnings for childlike wonder. [ESPN]
This year the Tampa Bay Buccaneers will once again wear the most garish and weird shade of salmon/orange, and Orlando Bloom will again intimidate opponents from their ridiculous helmets. Feel the magic!