The Steelers and Bears lost big games this weekend, and the frustration mounted to the point of manufactured controversy. On the Sunday Night Football broadcast, Ward opened up to Bob Costas:

This game is almost like a playoff game. It's almost a must-win. I could see some players or teammates questioning, like, 'It's just a concussion. I've played with a concussion before. I would go out there and play.' So, it's almost like a 50-50 toss-up in the locker room, you know? Should he play? Shouldn't he play? It's really hard to say. I've been out there dinged up. The following week, got right back out there."

Only problem is, Big Ben's brain doctor told him that his brain wasn't in playing shape. So today Ward apologized to Roethlisberger via Facebook, which is apparently what you do when you've got more than 140 characters to write.

I would never question a man's toughness playing in a STEELER unif. I didn't mean to cause such a stir. My frustration was based on the fact that this was a big game for us to stay in the playoff picture and having Ben out there gave us our best opp to win in Balt. I was frustrated because there was no indication of... Ben not being able to play because he practiced a normal routine this week (wed, thurs and fri)."

[snip]

"I know Ben wanted to play this game but the docs told him he's down, and with that we trust our docs with their decisions. We would never jeopardize anyone's health for a game of football. Life is way to precious. One thing about Ben, he is a WINNER. We just wanted this game so badly."

So, all's well in Pittsburgh. These things are easier to get past when you're probably playoff bound. But in Chicago, Urlacher had this to say (obliquely) about Jay Cutler:

I hate the way our identity has changed. We used to establish the run and wear teams down and try not to make mistakes, and we'd rely on our defense to keep us in the game and make big plays to put us in position to win...Kyle Orton might not be the flashiest quarterback, but the guy is a winner, and that formula worked for us. I hate to say it, but that's the truth."

Today, he was asked to clarify. He clarified very little:

I'm not taking a shot at Jay. I'm not one bit taking a shot at Jay. He throws it better, right? And we haven't tried to run the ball as much. That's true. But Kyle has won games. His formula works. So I'm not taking a shot at Jay or Kyle."

Let's translate athlete-speak into English. Urlacher had originally said "the team needs to stop throwing so much, because Cutler is a bust who can't stop throwing interceptions and is costing the team games." His carefully considered remarks two days later are that "the team needs to stop throwing so much, because Cutler is a bust who can't stop throwing interceptions and is costing the team games. But I'm not taking a shot at Jay."

The lesson: get yourself a Facebook page, Brian. As of press time, more than 1100 people clicked the little thumbs-up icon next to Ward's comments.

Hines Ward Facebook Page [Facebook]
Brian Urlacher Says Comments About Chicago Bears Teammates Not Meant To Be Derogatory [Chicago Tribune]

Yup. That's a classic Bills throwback spied in Albany, N.Y. You know. They never did find the "real killers." So keep your eyes open. [Via Three Idiots on Sports]

All eyez were on this man in Cleveland on Sunday. Loves his Browns, loves his Tupac. [Thanks, Brett!]

The extra S is for Spelling, which Drew Brees does Exsellently [Thanks, AppleOwner!]
Something tells me these two Georgia State Police troopers aren't going to be taking a bullet for Steve Spurrier. [Via Twitpic]

Speaking of alternate spellings, the crazy "tea bag" protesters who think Obama wants mandatory, government-funded grandmother abortions have found their savior. As long as they don't have to write his name in on the ballot. [Photo via NineTwelvePhotos on Flickr]

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your U.S. Open finals opponent. [Thanks, Robert!]

I hope Nike didn't spend too much on the "Unleash Urlacher" campaign. A small fortune, you say? Gee, that's a shame. [ESPN homepage, Thanks, EVERYBODY!]

The official story, courtesy of KFAN (via these guys via NBC Florio) has Wade, the former Bear now Viking wideout, engaging in the normal sports radio wacka-wacka in Minnesota until Cutler's name gets brought up and then this happened:

"I don't want to get him in trouble, but it wasn't what [the Bears] expected. Pretty much [Urlacher] said Jay Cutler was a pussy for the most part."

Urlacher was aghast. He said no such thing.

"To tell you the truth, I think it's just stupid. I don't really care. I think Jay knows me well enough to know I wouldn't say that. The radio stations that talk about it? I really don't [care] what they said. They are the pussies."

Urlacher also stated that he's friends with Bobby Wade and this rigamarole is just the typical result of "Bobby being Bobby." He did not call Bobby Wade a pussy, however.

Chicago Bears Linebacker Urlacher Denies Criticizing Jay Cutler [Chicago Tribune]

And Kennedy was not the only Urlacher who wouldn't listen to her, Robertson said, telling how her pleas to Brian to get him to cease the toenail painting and inappropriate diapering went unheeded. "He says he can do whatever he wants," Robertson said. "(Urlacher said), 'It doesn't make him feminine. It doesn't make him gay.' "You're confusing him, if he's a boy or a girl," she said.

The mother, Tyna Robertson, threatened to block Urlacher from seeing the boy if the beefy linebacker kept up the alleged effeminate antics.

Never was there a child more likely to one day challenge passersby to an honor du-el.

Of course, Tyna Robertson doesn't exactly strike me as the typical soccer mom. She once filed an unsuccessful sexual assault charge against Lord of the Dance Michael Flatley, so make of her claims what you will.

Mother: Urlacher Paints Sons Toes [Herald-News]

Because, so far, no one has yet to bid on Brian Urlacher's jock strap.

This auction is for an Authentic Used Brian Urlacher Athletic Supporter. The item is in used condition and has a tear in back strap from use. The item was obtained by myself as a locker room attendee. My duties included handling the teams gear, this item was discarded and replaced, and was worn during the first half of Super bowl XLI.

Tear in back strap from use. Of course. We're not quite sure why this would cost 25 bucks to ship, but hey, what do we know? We suspect Michael Flatley's costs less.

Brian Urlacher Athletic Supporter - Chicago Bears [eBay]

Well, you should drink water as long as you're not employed by the NFL.

Bears LB Brian Urlacher has hit the fine board for a cool $100 Gs, and it's apparently all over a goddamned drink and a cap. Urlacher was fined for drinking vitaminwater and wearing a vitaminwater hat during the media session in Miami leading to the title game. Gatorade is the NFL's official drink.

We're not going to get too indignant about this, considering Urlacher was surely promoting his own product and knew exactly what he was doing. But 100 grand? You know that rookie orientation seminar the NFL has ever year? We always thought it existed to help guide players through the potential minefield of off-field issues in the NFL. We now know it's just to make sure they know which products are acceptable. Wait ... which is the official erectile dysfunction pill of the NFL again? We want to make sure we have this right.

NFL Will Tell You What To Wear, And When [Signal To Noise]

During the sentencing, Bears coach Lovie Smith and linebacker Brian Urlacher served as "character witnesses" for Johnson. We particularly enjoyed Urlacher's attempts to help.

In the week before the Super Bowl in Miami, they went fishing together, Urlacher said. "I don't think he's a criminal. I think he's a good guy," Urlacher said. "My little daughter calls him 'Uncle Tank.'"

OK, we call bullshit. Not only do we doubt that Urlacher's daughter has ever hung around with Tank Johnson — let alone know him well enough to have a nickname for him — but, uh, fishing? In Miami the week before the Super Bowl? Right. Was Tank even allowed to leave his hotel room?

Anyway, two months for a full armory in his house, an arsenal that was being guarded by a drug dealer (who was subsequently shot a few days later)? Not bad.

Bears' Star Johnson Thrown In the Tank [Chicago Sun-Times]
Armory's Getting Locked Up For A Few Months [The Noise Ratio]

What better way to start off your Friday morning than a Facebook photo of Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher grabbing a boob. A real, natural boob, too!

That was just one sign that the custody trial scheduled for October could get nasty. [A lawyer] testified that Urlacher had missed 22 scheduled visitations with his son since March, sometimes with only an hour's notice. Urlacher's lawyer, Donald Schiller, threw a few barbs of his own, saying he wants more financial information on Robertson's "mysterious'' life. And he said records on numerous lawsuits filed against Robertson through the years would show she has an "uncontrollable temper.'' The two sides also squabbled about who would drive to pick up or drop off the boy on visitation days. Robertson balked at having to drive to Urlacher's home.

— it's bothersome, you know? Brian Urlacher trading accusations with a former one-night stand through his lawyer? That's not supposed to happen, is it? Particularly one who once slept with the Lord of the Dance? Though we supposed when we look back through Urlacher's dating history, he's got some awfully nasty skeletons in his closet as well.

Urlacher Comes Clean On Paris [Chicagoist]
Judge: No Extended Visit For Urlacher, Son [Chicago Sun-Times]

Last week, we all saw chad johnson's "river dance." what most people didn't connect was that bears mlb brian urlacher was recently found to have impregnated the same woman who sued michael "lord of the dance" flatley. so, basically, chad johnson is not only the best receiver in the NFL, but he's also an EVIL GENIUS.

This is true; we even looked it up. If this isn't the reason for Johnson's dance, it should be.

Urlacher Father Of Newborn, Tests Find [Chicago Sun-Times]
Johnson Thinking Up More TD Celebrations [Yahoo News]